What Parents Really Need from Us

EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIORS

It’s no wonder that parents struggle with how to handle their children’s emotional and behavioral issues. No parent wants his or her child to suffer on any level. So it’s not such a surprise that this area of need garnered the most responses–and some of the most poignant pleas for help.

• How do I help my child with her behavioral disorders? Her school seems to have given up, our family is always in an uproar, and I feel completely lost.

• I watch as my child suffers with depression…I don’t know what to do.

• How do I coach my physically maturing daughter (who’s developing way ahead of all the other girls)?

• My children are struggling through our divorce. How can I help them?

• My older child mistreats my younger child and wants nothing to do with him. How can I fix this?

• My child has an explosive temper. I don’t know how to handle it.

• My young son has an unhealthy obsession with girls’ clothing and toys.

• My child’s emotions are out of control.

• My child has a very negative self-image and outlook on life. How can I help her?

• Other kids are purposely excluding my son. It’s agonizing. What do I do?

• How do I get inside my very quiet child’s head and heart?

• My daughter has a special need that’s made her very challenging. I don’t want to hear one more time that it’s my fault or that I need to discipline her more. I want a community of support for her, not just me fighting to be her champion.

Insight

Parents may be unlikely to let you know they’re struggling with their child’s emotional or behavioral issue because it’s a very tender subject. Many wonder if the problem is somehow their fault. Others may’ve sought help only to feel rejected or embarrassed by a carelessly given opinion. In this area, ask God for great discernment.

“Any significant change in a child’s behavior can be a signal of something amiss,” says Steve Rossi, Christian counselor and author of A Father’s Words: How Fathers Make or Break Their Children. “But it’s got to be particular to that child. And every child is different.”

Get to know the people you serve; you’ll likely discover there are as many quirky emotions and behaviors and worried parents as there are kids in your ministry. Counsel parents with kindness, gentleness, and careful words. And when you encounter an issue you’re unfamiliar with or that’s over your head, help the family connect with a Christian counselor who can help.

“By connecting with someone who’s suffering…we’re less likely to say or do something that’s going to worsen the situation,” says Rossi. “The worst thing we can do is be insensitive or do nothing.”