If you take 1 Timothy 5:8 literally, you could say that, in my first year of marriage, I was worse than an unbeliever.
If provision means bringing home a bigger paycheck than your wife, you could say I denied the faith.
Two months after saying “I do,” I took a part-time position as the communications director for my church in sunny south Florida. This was a dream job for me, doing what I loved in a community in where I had thrived over the past five years.
Like any good woman, my wife was supportive, even if a bit wary.
Who doesn’t want to see the person they love follow their dreams? So I began the first year of marriage allowing my wife to be the main breadwinner in our family.
I wasn’t just working at the church and then coming home to play video games for the rest of the day (well, not every day). I was also working on a book. I was banking on my writing to be successful enough to provide an additional stream of income. And so what I couldn’t provide in finances, I was determined to provide in love, support and a better quality of life.
I worked part time for an entire year.
This was the first time I had worked part time since graduating college 10 years ago. And honestly, it felt weird. I’ve been working in a position that I love with low stress and reduced hours. It’s felt like a vacation compared to every other job I’ve had.
As the year went on, we began to have the conversations about where my position was headed. My hope was for the part-time position on staff to turn full time. But a year later, my church wasn’t in a position to increase my hours … or my salary.
I’m confident that God has done some pretty amazing things through my position at the church. I’ve been able to take the email, website, social media and all other forms of communication to the next level. My pastor and all the other staff have given me so much encouragement about the great job I’ve been doing.
But it’s still a part-time gig and as a man, it’s been a difficult thing to reconcile.
I’ve been having a bit of a provision crisis.
Up to now, our bills have been covered. Thankfully, my wife got a full-time position working in the office of the president of an international para-church ministry. The pay is pretty good and we have full benefits. We haven’t lacked for anything since getting married.
Then we got the news that we’re having a baby!
My absolute joy and excitement has been tempered with a sobering reality. I can’t possibly continue working part time and keep us in a position to cover all our expenses. It’s not just that we can’t afford it, I also don’t feel like I’m doing my part as a provider.
Since the reality set in that what I do is no longer enough to provide for my family, I’ve had a lot of questions.