2. Find Out What’s Wrong First.
In a sense, the Good News is only good against the backdrop of some bad news. Forgiveness is beautiful in light of a ruptured relationship, meaning and hope in light of apathy and despair, grace in light of law, so on and so forth.
Aware of this reality, many of us immediately go looking for what’s wrong with a person, whether spiritually, emotionally or intellectually, pounce on it, and then move to introduce the Gospel.
Instead, maybe you look for what’s right first. Try looking for those points of truth, goodness and beauty that the person acknowledges through common grace and the Image of God and start working from those shared values toward the truth of the Gospel.
For instance, work from their sense of justice to the beauty of biblical justice, or from their sense of the value of art to the firm rooting that God gives for creative activity. If you’re a pastor, you should probably try doing the same thing in your preaching.
3. Assume the Other Person Is a Strung Out, Fornicating Blasphemer Ready to Eat Your Babies.
This one may be obvious based on the last two: Don’t assume the worst about whomever you’re dealing with. Do not condescend. Do not self-righteously huff and puff about with your moral fervor.
Yes, theologically speaking, they are sinners, depraved, with a darkened heart and mind, in need of the light of the Gospel (just like you).
At the same time, theologically speaking, they are made in the Image of God, objects of his love, mercy and the common grace of God, and have consciences that are oftentimes more finely-tuned than most Christians.
Realize this: You might be talking to someone who doesn’t know Jesus, but is a much better person than you by most standards of moral evaluation. It is completely possible for you to learn about loving your wife, raising your kids, studying in school, general work ethic and general life-knowledge from someone who desperately needs to know the Gospel. When you take that into account, it changes the way you to talk to them.
Again, first stop, listen, watch and then speak.
At the most basic level, all of these tips boil down to one: When you’re talking to people about Jesus, do it with respect.
We are told in scripture to “always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you,” and yet we are supposed to “do it with gentleness and respect.” (1 Peter 3:15) Treat people with the dignity that the Gospel requires—the dignity that Jesus himself commands.
