Because of my undiagnosed allergy to the inside of an office, I spend a lot of time hanging out at coffee shops and restaurants. Most of my fellow nomads are people conducting business, and every day I see “the turn” executed at tables around me. For the uninitiated, let me explain the turn. You invite a potential customer to meet you for coffee. When they arrive, you engage them in small talk, feigning interest in their stories about work, family and life in general. After an appropriate amount of time passes, you steer the conversation toward what you actually want to talk about: an amazing opportunity, a business proposition or potential investment. This is “the turn,” the moment when the real purpose of the meeting comes out. I see the disappointment on faces as they realize the salesman doesn’t really care about them, he just wants to pitch. There’s a turn in process at the next table as I type. (Read more about Ron Popeil, the master of the turn, here.)
Now that my wife is the CEO of a large nonprofit we get turned a lot. People invite us to dinner “just to get acquainted,” but before the evening is over we are listening to another pitch for a ministry, book or business opportunity. What we thought was a fun night with another couple becomes a sales meeting. I hate being turned. If you want to talk about a business or ministry opportunity, that’s fine; just tell me up front. Don’t act interested in my life until you find out I’m not interested in your proposition. Not every meeting has to be about a relationship, but let’s not pretend.
Unfortunately, a lot of what we call evangelism is built around “the turn.” We pretend to care about our neighbors, our community or our co-workers, but what we’re really after is a conversion. We do it as churches when we do anything possible just to get people in the door, and then we hit them with the hard sell. We do it as groups when we participate in “servant evangelism” that is simply a disguise for inviting people to church. We do it as individuals when we start conversations with no other motivation than finding an opening to unleash our salvation pitch. We even have training courses on how to turn any conversation into a Gospel presentation.
No one likes to be turned. It may be an effective sales tactic, but it is never the basis for a long-term relationship. I imagine when people see through a thinly veiled Gospel sales pitch they feel as frustrated as I do when I’m turned.
Jesus didn’t turn people. He loved people, he spoke the truth, he invited people into his life. People were drawn to the genuine care Jesus demonstrated for people he encountered every day. He refused to turn people, but he was willing to die for them.
I am as guilty as anyone at employing the turn. I am always looking for clever ways to share the Gospel, to compel people to buy into God’s plan. I want to learn to love people so completely they will be drawn, rather than shoved, toward God.
