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7 Things to NEVER Say to a Depressed Christian

3. Never Say This to a Depressed Christian: “Confess Your Sins”

Trying to find a sin trigger in the life of the depressed is a hard proposition. There may be some evident sin in their lives that they need to deal with, but consider this:

1. Everyone Sins, but Not Everyone’s Depressed. There is evil in everyone. According to Martin Luther, we’re all simul justus et peccator, which is Latin for “at the same time just and sinners.” Additionally, according to the Gospel of John, we have to admit to sin in our lives:

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. —1 John 1:8 (ESV)

All too often, a lengthy (and often judgmental) assessment of every sin the depressed person has takes place. Once they’re identified, they’ll try to get rid of them one by one. This is both impossible and can cause deeper depression. The depressed may believe you and think getting rid of all these sins is the answer. When they realize that this cannot happen this side of heaven, the depression deepens.

2. They Can’t Change the Past. Sometimes the sins that led to depression are from years of lifestyle choices. They build up over the years. It’s usually the little ones that end up getting us. However, bringing this to the conversation with the depressed does little good. They can’t back up and change their choices. If they could, they would.

3. They Already Know They’re Sinners. The depressed person likely knows if it’s sin that’s causing their depression. If it’s alcohol, drugs, etc., bringing this up early will only harden the person. It will make them defensive. If sin is causing the depression (and that’s a big “if”) tact and prudence should be used in abundance. This will allow them to recognize their sin without becoming defensive.

4. Never Say This to a Depressed Christian: “Get on Some Meds Immediately!”

I am no Tom Cruise. I believe that psychiatric medications are often the answer and are a gift of God. I believe that there are many out there who are not taking meds due to a taboo or stigma attached to them that should be. However, the use of mind altering drugs also needs to be considered very deeply. I also think that they are prescribed too easily without a plan of attack.