I want to see you have a marriage that moves to the next level, but it will become extremely damaged or completely ruined of you fall into adultery. This article exists to teach you how to affair-proof your marriage.
You will have an affair if…
- You have unguarded lust.
Lust is a part of our fallen nature. The Bible declares that in this world we all struggle with, how 1 John 2:16 puts it, the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes…not from the Father but is from the world.
It all started with a look. There is not a man reading this who does not relate to this matter. Men are drawn to look at the shape, form and beauty of a woman. Men are attracted by the eye.
Men are drawn by the eye. If my wife were to look out the window and see a naked man, she’d call the police!
- You have unresolved conflicts.
Every relationship is marked by conflict. If we fail to address things, we will become a victim of the injury of such conflict.
Dissonance creates distance, and distance will often cause people to stray.
2 Samuel 6:16 says, As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart.
As the Ark of the Covenant came to Jerusalem, it was a day of triumph. It was a big day for Israel, and especially for David. Despite this truth, David’s wife Michal “despised him.”
Hebrews 12:15 teaches, See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.
This is important to notice from Luke’s writing in Hebrews: Unresolved conflict and bitterness lead to immorality.
- You have an underdeveloped self-esteem.
We are preoccupied with ourselves. Going back to David, remember that he is held responsible for his actions, but there is the Bathsheba part of the equation. She was exposed and then she was exploited.
I don’t know if this was an issue for her, but I do know that it is a regular issue for many who “stay on the market” today.
People dress, act and draw attention to themselves and are willing to risk great destruction by trying to bait attraction.
- You have unmet needs.
1 Corinthians 7:4–5 says, 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
There is a holiness and a wholeness to the sexual union of marriage. It is intended for the union and well-being of both parties in the marriage.
- You have an ungrateful attitude.
Failing to recognize what God and your mate have given you results in a lack of gratitude. This results in pride. Adultery is fueled by pride and lust.
Psalm 51:17 says, The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
I hope you will put some key things into action in order to protect your family from adultery…
RESOLVE to get honest with God and with yourself about the destructive power of lust. There is no such thing as innocent lust. You can’t avoid the look, but you don’t have to feed the lust.
Martin Luther once said, “You can’t always avoid the birds from flying overhead, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
REALIZE that seduction begins in the heart. David not only saw, but he contemplated it, then he reflected and explored. No one knew outwardly what David was entertaining inwardly.
Proverbs 4:23 says, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
RENEW your vows daily. I’m not talking about something spoken, but through your actions and overall life.
REFLECT on God’s faithfulness to you and His goodness to your family.
REMEMBER what we cover, God uncovers, but what we uncover, God covers.
Have any additional thoughts on affair-proofing your marriage? Let me know in the comment section below.