5. You then guide them to talk with each other about what’s really going on. You do not try to “fix it” for them, but rather facilitate them to work together to find their own solution. You step in anytime the conversation gets defensive or one of them personally attacks the other person’s character or makes assumptions about the other person’s motives, and directly ask that they stay civil and on topic.
6. Once they come up with a resolution and set new agreements about how they will interact, you play the role of accountability partner, checking in with them regularly as a team to verify that they are both holding to their agreements.
Leveraging the power of triads in this way accomplishes several things:
It requires your team members to directly engage with each other in a conflict conversation, eliminating you as the middle man.
It shifts the focus from the offended party to the relationship itself — i.e. it’s no longer about Jana; it’s about strengthening the relationship between Jana and Joe so it’s better for both of them, and for the team.
It places the responsibility for solving the problem squarely on their shoulders, where it belongs, and takes it off of yours.
It trains your team (over time) not to expect you to solve their relational issues with other team members, but to trust that you will be an ally and advocate for them to help them come to resolution themselves.
What other effective strategies have you found for helping your team navigate conflict successfully?
