Why Even Sex Experts See the Destructive Power of Porn

Even sex experts, celebrities and Hollywood are noting the destructive realities of porn in relationships, and its complete rewiring of how individuals approach sex.

The movie Don Jon has just been released on DVD. It’s a story about a young man frustrated by the effects of porn in his life. I’m not going to watch the film, and I don’t recommend anyone else watch it either, but the story could indicate a subtle reversal in cultural attitudes when it comes to sex and the use of porn.

Has a porn backlash in mainstream culture finally begun?

Porn wreaking havoc in the bedroom.

When the movie premiered in the UK, The Telegraph ran a perceptive article that addressed the same issues that the film raises, namely that a porn habit leaves men unable to relate to real women:

There’s a scene in Don Jon … in which [a female] character gently breaks it to Jon that the sex they had was, well, not that good. … Jon is stunned, mortified and finally completely confused by his sex life. Because, the truth is, he’s not really enjoying it either. Porn is what he really loves. …

Even among more casual users, porn is wreaking havoc in the bedroom. Last year, American GQ’s sex columnist, Siobhan Rosen, complained about the “pornified sex” men seemed to expect—not in a relationship, when trust has been established, but from the very first encounter. …

“It’s a disconnection from what’s really in front of you,” says [Joseph] Gordon-Levitt, who directed, wrote and stars in the film. “Rather than engaging with a unique individual and listening to what the other has to say, right at this moment, we put people in boxes with labels. We objectify each other.”

Controlled by our sexual desires.

Even sex experts and celebrities are noting the destructive realities of porn in relationships, and its complete rewiring of how individuals—specifically males—approach sex.

A recent GQ article offered the statistic that “one in five people who regularly watch porn admitted to feeling controlled by their own sexual desires,” an unhealthy position to be in as men are driven by a desire for sensation rather than a desire for relation.

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markdriscoll@churchleaders.com'
Pastor Mark Driscoll is the Preaching and Speaking pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He is one of the world’s most downloaded and quoted pastors. His audience—fans and critics alike—spans the theological and cultural left and right. Follow his updates at twitter.com/pastorMark.