1. Force
Gentleness is a trait of a healthy marriage. Specifically, men need to be gentle with their wives.
Our strength is to be used for the wellbeing of our spouses, not to their detriment.
When someone uses an extreme amount of force when they are happy and in public, it makes me wonder what they are willing to do when they are angry and in private.
2. Revenge
The cake exchange is supposed to have a bit of “gotcha” in it. You get me; I get you.
However, some individuals ratchet up the revenge. They don’t just get even, they make sure their “get back” is better.
This might be meaningless with cake, but it is fatal in fights. This trait will cause every disagreement to turn into a nightmare of a battle.
A spouse who does this can never have a small fight. Every word spoken to them will be returned with a harsher word. Every assumed slight will lead to a greater slight directed back toward the spouse.
3. Pride
If you can’t lose, you might as well not get married.
Every married person is going to have to lose on occasion. Sometimes you will lose because you are wrong and sometimes you will lose because you care more about the relationship than the argument.
Some people can’t lose—even when it comes to the cake exchange. If they have to be the victor at the expense of their spouse, they might win the cake, but they will lose the marriage.
If a person isn’t humble enough to have a little cake on their nose in a happy moment, they will never have the humility to submit to their spouse during a tough time. (See: Pride—The Only Enemy of Marriage)
4. Contempt
It is shocking to me how often an apparent disdain for a spouse is revealed moments after committing their lives solely to one another.
