What to Do When the Tears Won’t Stop

Recently, I ran across a startling statistic that blew me away.

When it comes to cruel and cutting remarks, 99 percent of the time they’re not from strangers; they’re from someone we know. Let that sink in. Their words are painful and memorable because they come from people who should be the source of love.

It’s hard to admit, but wherever a relationship exists, the possibility of someone getting wounded exists. How do you respond when the people you know hurt you? How do you stop the tears from flowing? You agree to release the grip resentment has on you.

You can’t hold onto a hurt and enjoy life. You can’t get well as long as you harbor resentment. For your sake, let go of the right to get even. The fact is, you only have a certain amount of emotional energy, and you must determine how you spend it.

One of the most difficult decisions you’ve got to decide in life is “Do I want to get well or do I want to get even?” You can’t do both. You don’t have enough emotional energy to do both. Getting even will not take away your pain. Let’s say you were given an opportunity to get back at the person who hurt you. You felt great for a moment, but did it solve the problem? No! You still feel the pain. There is only one way to get rid of hurt in your heart—forgive them.

You say, “But they don’t deserve to be forgiven!” I didn’t say they did. You’re right. They don’t. Neither do you deserve to be forgiven, but God’s forgiven you. You don’t forgive them because they deserve it. You forgive them for your sake.

You can’t get on with your life as long as you’re stuck in the past. As long as you hold onto resentment, you are stuck. That person is still controlling your life in the present even though they may have been out of your life for many years.

Revenge Is Messy

Never pay back evil for evil. Never avenge yourself. Leave that to God. For He has said that He will repay those that deserve it. Romans 12:17-19

The reason we get in such a mess is we forget God saw what happened to us. We believe we have to take matters into our hands, and it’s our duty to settle the score. It’s not your duty to settle the score. God says, “I will settle the score.” Trust God to balance the books. He saw the hurt and He’s going to give justice at the appropriate time.

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CEStowers@churchleaders.com'
The Reverend Clarence E. Stowers, Jr. was born on December 2, 1966 to Dr. Clarence (deceased) and Margaret Stowers, Sr. in Evanston, Illinois. He began his spiritual pilgrimage at Mars Hill under the leadership of Dr. Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. He accepted his call to preach the gospel in 1991 and was licensed and ordained at Mars Hill.