How to Deal With People Who Don’t Like You

Rejection is powerful.

When I counsel people, sometimes I hear them say, “I don’t care if people like me, as long as they respect me.” When they say that, it’s an “emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection,” according to psychologist Marcia Reynolds.

God created us to be social, and if we’re honest, all of us care if people like us. “The feeling of love, affection and belonging is necessary before we can reach the highest levels of consciousness and wisdom,” according to psychologist Abraham Maslow. Maslow is saying we all need people to survive. So, how do you keep from withdrawing when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you?

Fortunately, you’re not the only one who’s had to deal with this problem. After Nathan had anointed David as the future King of Israel, Saul became his bitter enemy. Like David, all of us, at one time or another, deal with people we don’t like and who don’t like us. Perhaps you have people who want to do you harm and see you fail. This is where David found himself in 1 Samuel Chapter 24.

His enemy, Saul, wanted to see him dead, and he spent a considerable amount of time chasing David to kill him. Then one day Saul made a mistake. He walked right into the place where David and his men were without realizing David was there.

Imagine how you might have felt if your worst enemy (or hater) was in front of you and didn’t know you were there. Would you attack that person? Most of us would not think twice about getting revenge on that person, especially since doing so would mean we would no longer have to run and hide from them.

However, David was different. Even though David wanted to stop running and hiding, he wanted to honor God more. Saul was a King that God anointed, and David knew that he could not just kill him. Understanding this, he denied his initial thought to kill Saul.

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CEStowers@churchleaders.com'
The Reverend Clarence E. Stowers, Jr. was born on December 2, 1966 to Dr. Clarence (deceased) and Margaret Stowers, Sr. in Evanston, Illinois. He began his spiritual pilgrimage at Mars Hill under the leadership of Dr. Clarence E. Stowers, Sr. He accepted his call to preach the gospel in 1991 and was licensed and ordained at Mars Hill.