25 Really Strange Things Church Members Say to Pastors

It’s not a boring vocation because the things church members say to pastors are just…hilarious.

If you serve as a pastor or church staff member, there is rarely a boring moment. A few years ago, I began polling pastors and church staff and collecting some really weird things church members say to them.

Here is my current top 25.

I modified some to fit into a direct quote, but the essence remains. The words in italics are my own commentaries.

1. 1. 1. “Will you bless me divorcing my husband so I can marry a convicted murderer? God told me to do it.”
         
         
         Jim In Jail GIF
         from Thejimgaffiganshow GIFs

         Yes, I am sure that’s exactly what God said.

      2. Said to a pastor in his ordination council: “What is your view on Christian missions in space?”
         

         via GIFER

         Space the final frontier…to boldly go where no man has gone before.

      3. After the church member had surgery: “Pastor, will you pray for me to pass gas.”
         
         Pink Reaction GIF from Pink GIFs

         Maybe there was a spontaneous answer to that prayer.

      4. “I want you to come see my display of nude art.”
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         I’m still trying to find out what the pastor decided.
      5. During the offertory: “Pastor, do you have change for a 20?”
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         Probably a deacon.
      6. To a worship pastor after the service: “Here’s the bulletin. I graded each song based on how worshipful it was.”
         via GIPHYThank you. We will be sending you your grades on how much the church staff likes you.
      7. “Can we put the children’s moment back in the bulletin? I know we don’t have any children but the old folks like it.” 
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         Yes, we will alternate it every week with the senior moment.
      8. “I used to be a warlock.”
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         Was that before or after you became a deacon?