Once you make it past the immediate shock and anger of the termination, you may be tempted to enter another common stage of grief — bargaining. You might try bargaining with God, or attempt engagement with the church to save your job. God does not want our bargains; He simply desires our trust. As for the church, sometimes one may well be able to talk calmly through the issues and negotiate a peace treaty with the powers that be. Indeed, some pastors can work through situations that could have ended their ministries, and have come out better with stronger positions on the other side.
Restructure
A terminated minister’s life has been thrown into chaos. Without deliberate action, he and his family can be swept away by the perfect storm of emotional, financial and vocational forces. Work with your wife and children to restructure your life. Immediate concerns, once you’ve addressed the emotional wounds, include financial security and, if living in a church-owned house, providing a home for your family.
Unless the separation from the church has been very acrimonious, most terminated ministers can negotiate some level of compensation, including some transition occupancy of the parsonage. Most reasonable congregations will offer a minister from one to three months of support.
One key need involves continuation of health insurance. Federal health insurance rules may or may not apply to this church. Still, your health insurance company likely offers some type of portability. An early call to your provider may save you difficulties down the road.
Restructuring your budget will help you gain some level of control over your financial stability. If your family has significant debt, you may benefit from consultations with a financial or credit counselor. Many creditors will work with you to adjust interest rates or make other concessions provided the debtor responds responsibly.
Beyond financial issues, work to restructure your lifestyle. Your life has been built around a work schedule determined by office hours, hospital visitation, committee meetings, sermon preparation and other demands. Suddenly, your time is your own. Too many terminated ministers fall into a depressive state with little motivation to seek a new place of service or to handle his family’s needs. Develop self-motivated discipline. Set a work schedule that will help you take those proactive steps necessary to secure your family and seek God’s direction for the future. Get up in the morning, bathe, dress for work and begin your transition.
Make time with God a priority in your schedule. Your greatest need is intimacy with the Lord. His Spirit will comfort and guide you. His love will embrace and heal you. His power will refresh you and give you the ability to rise to the challenge.
Spend time in Bible study and prayer. You will find God speaking through your devotional reading. Pour out your heart to the Lord. Allow yourself to commune with your Lord. You may find God opening passages of Scripture with new light.
