Gary Thomas: The Neglected Word That Can Change Everything For Your Marriage

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Gary Thomas is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the study of Scripture, church history, and the Christian classics to foster spiritual growth and deeper relationships within the Christian community. Gary’s books include Sacred Marriage and his upcoming latest release, Cherish.

Key Questions:

What unique challenges do ministry leaders face in their marriages?

How can a pastor keep his or her relationship with a spouse a priority over the church?

What is the difference between cherishing and being infatuated?

Key Quotes:

“I noticed that my marriage, and later parenting, were two of the biggest aspects of spiritual formation activity that I knew. But all of the books on spiritual formation were talking about being a monk or a nun…I thought ‘Why aren’t we looking at marriage as a spiritual discipline?'”

“When you know the purpose behind the difficulties of marriage, you’ll be more engaged, and when you can see the benefit of working through it, perhaps you won’t give up and…at least respect the process of marriage and how God uses it to shape us.”

“You can’t fake your marriage in front of your kids and you can’t fake your marriage behind a pulpit.”

“To preach with integrity, to lead with integrity, we have to address our marriages; they have to be authentic.”

“The more we cherish our wives, the more we respect women in general. If we have a bad relationship with our wife, it tends to sour us toward women in general.”

“I believe my first ministry, and my most important ministry, the way I please God the most, is how well I love my wife.”

“When you have to have patience with your wife; when you have to be understanding with your wife, that’s helping you become a better pastor.”

“1 Corinthians 13 is the love chapter and I think Song of Songs is the cherish chapter.”

“The reason that Adam and Eve are so satisfied is that there was literally no other woman that Adam could compare Eve to.”

“I think our view of marriage has to evolve.”

“I’m tired of people thinking that infatuation is the peak of a relationship.”

“I believe God wants to raise the level of marriages in the church to that of cherish. So the world can define marriage however they want, but when they look at marriages in the church, we have a whole different demonstration of what marriage can be.”

Mentioned in the Show:

Sacred Marriage

Cherish

The Sacred Pathways

Gary’s articles on Church Leaders:

6 Signs He or She Isn’t Marriage Material
Please Don’t Marry Him

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Andrew Hess
Andrew Hess is Senior Editor of ChurchLeaders.com. He teaches Bible and Psychology classes at Colorado Christian University and is a graduate of Denver Seminary. His writing has appeared on The Gospel Coalition and Leadership Journal. When not working, Andrew is usually enjoying scenic Colorado, teaching Sunday school, or buying a priceless antique at a local garage sale. Connect with Andrew on Twitter @AndrewWHess.