Sowing and Reaping
My wife and I have a small, raised bed garden. Usually we purchase those little six-packs of sprouted produce, but sometimes we get adventurous and plant seeds. We work the soil, we water, we weed—and we wait. It sometimes seems the seeds will never sprout, but eventually a shoot emerges and a full-grown plant slowly develops.
Children have a hard time believing the seeds of their misbehavior will ever sprout. They must learn the principle of sowing and reaping—their choices made today affect their harvest tomorrow. “Do not be deceived,” Paul warns. “God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7-8).
We must teach our children that their choices bring results, good or bad, sooner or later. But how can we do that?
Use a variety of strategies. Discipline should not be a knee-jerk reaction to misbehavior; it involves an ongoing process of training and nurture. It includes instruction, warning, praise and encouragement for good behaviors and attitudes. Don’t simply reprimand your students. Engage them.
Discipline that disciples, says Tedd Tripp in Shepherding a Child’s Heart, involves “helping children understand themselves, God’s world, the ways of God, how sin works in the human heart, and how the Gospel comes to them at the most profound levels of human need.”
Teach children to recognize the consequences of sin. The sowing/reaping principle underscores the natural consequences of sin, but how do children understand this when consequences don’t materialize immediately?
“Kids learn to respect the reality of long-term, natural consequences,” says Daniel Hahn in Teaching Your Kids the Truth About Consequences, “when [teachers] use short-run, logical consequences as a routine part of shaping behavior.”
Teach kids to recognize the natural long-term consequences of their actions. At the same time, use immediate consequences to demonstrate the logic of their course of action. Also, keep consequences reasonable and as closely associated with the behavior as possible. For example, if the child’s misbehavior involves property damage, require the child to replace or repair the property. With a relational offense, help the child understand the other person’s perspective and the need for reconciliation.
Explain the “why” of behavior as well as the “what.” Behind the choices a child makes is a set of values, hopes and dreams. Do these values reflect the attitudes and qualities exemplified in Christ? Or do they reflect a heart of selfishness? The “why” of behavior penetrates the heart, sometimes revealing values and attitudes contrary to God’s nature.
We “tend to see … behavior in very naive terms,” Tripp says. “We see the fight over a toy as simply a fight over a toy, when actually it’s a failure to prefer others.” When we help children recognize the motives of their hearts, we help them better understand themselves and their actions. Recognition of sinful motives is the foundation for heart change.
Practice church discipline. What? Isn’t that just for adults? It shouldn’t be. If you think of your class as a mini-church, you’ll find the Bible provides an abundance of wisdom and instruction to help you handle relational tension. You can aid your children in learning how to confront another child when they’ve been wronged (in accordance with Matthew 18), seeking your intervention only as a second step. Role-play several possible scenarios with your class. Follow God’s principles of church discipline to teach your children what it means to be part of the body of Christ.
“I’m continually running into people who are forcing, bribing, tricking, pleading, kicking and screaming—trying to get their kids to ‘be good,’ ” Daniel Hahn says. Does that sound like your classroom discipline strategy? Then perhaps it’s time to reexamine your methods and redirect your goal toward discipling rather than simply controlling the classroom.
Read Page 3 >>
