Why Parenting Strategies Won’t Work

10. Character

Not all of the wrong your children do is a direct rebellion to authority; much of the wrong is the result of a lack of character. Romans 1:25 and 28-32 connect character issues to the most significant of all human functions—worship.

11. False Gods

You are parenting a worshiper, so it’s important to remember that what rules your child’s heart will control his behavior. This should be no surprise, considering how often the Bible warns us (see Exodus 20:3, Deuteronomy 11:6, 1 Samuel 12:21 and many more).

12. Control

The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change. No matter how successfully you control their choices and behavior, your control cannot and will not free them from your kids from a deeper need—a clean heart (see Psalm 51).

13. Rest

It is only rest in God’s presence and grace that will make you a joyful and patient parent. This may surprise you, but I cannot think of any directive from the mouth of Jesus that is a more appropriate call to every Christian parent than the Great Commission (Mathew 28:18-20).

14. Mercy

No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he desperately needs it himself. Hebrews 4:14-16 gives us a model for a life-long mission of humbly, joyfully and willingly giving mercy.

Why I Wrote Another Parenting Book

Many Christian mothers and fathers are exhausted, discouraged and frustrated. It’s time we consider a new and better way: the way of grace.

Parents, God will bless you with his presence, power, wisdom and grace. He faithfully parents you, so that by his faithful grace you can faithfully parent your children. In every moment of parenting, the wise heavenly Father is working on everybody in the room.

That’s why I wrote Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family.

This article originally appeared here.