1. Always use direct communication. There will be times when he does something or makes a decision that you don’t understand or agree with. Never talk behind his back about it or to other people. Go directly to him for discussion and clarity.
2. Write him encouragement notes. Everyone needs encouragement. Even your Pastor. Occasionally drop him a note letting him know how much it means to be part of his team and that it’s an honor to serve with him.
3. Publicly brag on him. Brag on him to your volunteers. Brag on a great sermon he preached. Brag on him to parents. Brag on him to the kids.
4. Know his love language and use it appropriately. Do you know what his love language is? Is it words of affirmation? Acts of service? Receiving gifts? Quality time? Physical touch?
5. Don’t bring problems without solutions. When you bring a problem, bring two or three possible solutions, as well.
6. Keep him informed of what’s going on in the children’s ministry.
7. Offer to help carry some of the load. Let him know you’re there if he needs extra help with something…including things outside your “ministry area.”
8. Ask if you can go to lunch with him occasionally. And pay for lunch.
9. Love his kids. Build a relationship with them and pour into them spiritually. Treat them with kindness. Remember their birthdays. It’s not easy being a PK and he will appreciate you pouring into them.
10. Pray for him. Add him to your prayer list and pray for him daily.
11. Follow thru on assignments he gives you. And don’t leave him hanging. Let them know you received the assignment and then let him know when it is completed. This can be as simple as responding to an email with the words “Got it” and then “Done.”
12. Ask him for advice and feedback. Ask him for ministry advice and personal advice on how you can become a better leader and children’s minister.
13. Always keep information confidential when asked. If he says “this stays in the room,” then make sure it stays in the room.
14. Show initiative. Be a self-motivator and self-starter. Set goals without being asked. Generate ideas and ways to improve the children’s ministry without being asked.
15. Know his personality. This will help you know how to best interface with him.
16. Know the church culture. Each church has it’s own unique culture. Most of the time it has been established by the pastor if he has been there for more than 3 years. Find out what it is and operate within the flow of the established culture.
17. Ask him how he wants you to communicate with him on matters that come up outside of meetings. Email? Phone? Personal conversation?
18. Ask for clear expectations. This especially applies if you are new to the job. Sit down and ask him what is expected. What are the wins? What does success look like? What direction does he want to see the children’s ministry go?
19. Stack hands when you don’t get your way. There will be times when you make a proposal for a plan, program, budget request or initiative that he says “no” to. That means it’s time to trust his leadership, stack hands, and jump on board with his decision…with a good attitude.
20. Don’t make him play mediator. Get along with other staff or volunteers. When an issue arises, do your best to Biblically resolve it before you have to put it on his plate. Plain and simple…get along with people so he doesn’t have to spend time being a referee.
21. Earn his trust. Keep your word. Finish what you start. Prove yourself.
22. Do your job well. Make the ministry he has entrusted you with shine.
23. Get along with church members. Don’t make him spend his time repairing busted relationships.
24. Support him and help him reach his goals. What is his vision? What are his goals for the entire church? Make it your mission to help him see his vision become a reality. Instead of building “your kingdom,” help him build the entire church.
25. Be loyal. Let him know you have his back and are his biggest fan.
26. Come to meetings prepared. If he asks you to bring an update, report, etc…then have it ready.
27. Be engaged in meetings. When he is leading a meeting…keep your attention focused on him…not on your text messages.
28. Make him look good. Your ministry and life should make him shine.
29. Don’t make excuses when you fail. Admit you blew it and let him know the corrections you are making to fix it. He doesn’t expect you to be perfect, but he does want you to learn from your failures so they are not constantly repeated.
30. Always stay positive. Be an energy giver to him…not an energy drainer.
Okay. It’s your turn. What are some more ways you can build a stronger working relationship with your pastor? Please leave a comment below and let us know.
