The godly husband is sitting at the gates of the city—as a leader in the community. He is working diligently for his wife and children. But, he is also doing something at the city gates. He is praising his wife for all of her qualities to the other leaders in the city. The Proverb concludes with these words: “Let her own works praise her in the gates” (Prov. 31:31). A loving husband will sing the praises of his wife in public (unless she is adamant that she doesn’t like it when he does so!).
6. Take Care of Your Wife by Showing Her Affection.
It almost goes without saying that a loving husband will be affectionate with his wife. This certainly includes spending time alone with her. It may take the form of regular date nights away from the children. I usually find that it is one of the best things for our marriage when my wife and I are able to pull away from the busyness and cares of life to spend time together to foster our love for one another. Of course, it also means not withholding the sexual intimacy that is her God-given right. It should seem strange for us to find the Apostle Paul commanding husbands with the following admonition: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her…” (1 Cor. 7:3). However, life in this selfish and fallen world necessitates such a command. A godly husband should commit to nurturing intimacy and affection with his wife.
7. Take Care of Your Wife by Being Transparent With Her.
I have never met a women who didn’t long to have a husband she could trust. How could anyone in their right mind enjoy living with someone that they couldn’t trust? A godly husband will talk often and openly with his wife. He will be transparent with her about finances, activities and struggles. Surely, a measure of propriety and wisdom is needed when seeking to approach the issue of personal struggles with lust. However, as a rule, a man who wants to truly love and serve his wife will be a man who is open and honest with her. The words of James 5:16 apply to the marriage relationship no less than to our other relations in the church: “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
All of these things must, of course, be pursued in the context of our own relationship with Christ. It is only through union with Jesus—in His death and resurrection—that you will ever be able to begin to love and care for your wife in these ways. When we fail (and we will most certainly fail), we go back to the Lord in brokenness and contrition. We confess our sin to Him and ask Him for grace to grow in these areas. We must meditate often on the fact that Jesus has done all of these things for us as the Heavenly Bridegroom of our souls. He leads us in worship on a daily and weekly basis (Eph. 5:25-27; Heb. 2:10-13); He carries our burdens and sorrows (Matt. 11:28-30); He constantly provides for our spiritual and material needs (Matt. 7:7); He serves us in His church (Mark 10:45; Luke 12:37; John 13:1-17); He speaks well of us, even though we are sinful and often wander (Song of Songs 1:15; 4:1, 7); He is intimate with us in communion (John 13:25; 21:20); and He is open with us about all of His and His Father’s works (Matt. 13:11; John 15:15). Brothers, we must learn to live out of our union with Christ and to listen to all that His word teaches us about our responsibilities as husbands if we are to ever truly to care for the needs of our wives.
This article on how to take care of your wife originally appeared here.
