Despite their religious identify and church attendance, almost half of men (45%) whose partners have had an abortion and who attend at least monthly say no one at their church knows about the abortion. Slightly more (48%) say someone is aware.
Additionally, only 36% of men whose partners have had an abortion would recommend someone discuss an unplanned pregnancy with someone at a local church. Half (49%) would not.
Almost 2 in 3 men (64%) believe one can talk with a pastor about abortion confidentially, but few expect to receive an encouraging response from the church or pastor if they do.
As men thought about the time of their partner’s abortion, they expected to receive a critical reaction from a local church. More men say they expected churches to be judgmental (42%), condemning (30%), cold (24%) or indifferent (12%), compared to helpful (24%), caring (23%), informative (19%) or loving (18%). Men who were actually attending church once a month or more at the time of the abortion, however, are less likely than those who were attending less frequently to say the church would respond critically.
“Fear of shame and condemnation appears to be deterring Christians from talking about their unplanned pregnancies with others in the church—those they would otherwise trust as sources of hope and help,” said Warren. “Specifically, some Christian men seem more afraid of how an unplanned pregnancy coming to light could damage their reputation than they’re concerned about the ramifications of an abortion. This should be a challenge to church leaders to change the way they handle and respond to unplanned pregnancies.”
Men whose partners have had an abortion have conflicted and divided thoughts about how people in their situation will be received in church and how forgiveness may apply to them. A 2015 Care Net study conducted by Lifeway Research among women who had abortions found some shared perspectives on the attitudes of churches and pastors but more areas of disagreement between women and men.
Almost 3 in 4 men (72%) believe church members judge unmarried couples who are pregnant, yet 62% agree churches are prepared to provide support to couples who choose to keep a child resulting from an unplanned pregnancy.
Most men (57%) say churches oversimplify decisions about pregnancy options, but 52% say churches are a safe place to talk about the ways in which they could respond to the pregnancy, including parenting, abortion and adoption.
Most (54%) believe that pastors’ teachings on forgiveness don’t seem to apply to abortion, yet 51% say pastors teach God is willing to forgive past abortion decisions.
Overall, 53% believe that pastors are sensitive to the pressures a man faces with an unplanned pregnancy.
In the 2015 study of women, also sponsored by Care Net, slightly fewer women said pastors’ teachings on forgiveness don’t seem to apply to abortion (51%), and a similar share said churches oversimplify decisions about pregnancy options (54%).
Women who have had abortions are significantly less likely than men whose partners have had abortions to say churches are prepared to provide support for a child resulting from unplanned pregnancy (51%), pastors teach God is willing to forgive past abortion decisions (42%), churches are sensitive to the pressures of people in their situation (39%) and churches are safe places to discuss pregnancy options (38%). They are also less likely, however, to say churches judge someone who is unmarried and pregnant (65%).
“There are mixed feelings even among churchgoers on how helpful churches are in decisions about unplanned pregnancies,” said McConnell. “While many men recognize sensitivity and support, fewer are currently willing to recommend others turn to a church when facing an unplanned pregnancy.”
This article originally appeared here.
