“Way, way overheated the water. Quickly told the worship pastor to sing a couple more songs while we hurriedly threw ice into it. When the screen was lifted (baptistery was behind the screen) steam billowed out into the sanctuary. Looked like a bunch of deacons smoking.”
“I baptized crusty 72-year-old school lunch lady. The heater went out the night before. Family had traveled for hours to witness so we couldn’t reschedule. When she came up out of the cold well water she said, ‘D@mn, that water was cold!’ Deacon in the choir said: ‘Didn’t take.’”
“My first baptism as a youth pastor – right before I baptized a young girl I said: ‘By the power vested in me by the state of Ohio, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.’ True story—I was nervous. Hopefully, it still counted.”
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“In an outdoor baptism service, I stepped on and broke the nozzle holding the water in the tank. I then jammed my big toe into the hole for the remainder of the service to stop the water—I sliced my big toe to pieces.”
“Baptizing a high school student. Brand new Christian. Slipped going down the stairs and let out a very loud ‘Oh S____!’ right into the microphone.”
“I baptized a teenage girl who was afraid to go under water. Didn’t know that at the time. Tried three times to dunk her, but her legs wouldn’t let me. 4th time was a charm! 🤣”
“When I was serving as an associate pastor we had several to be baptized one Sunday night. The baptistry was down in elevated rock platform. Me, the senior pastor and the youth pastor were taking turns baptizing. I baptized a couple then got out of the baptistry and was standing waiting for my next turn. I am standing where the whole congregation can see and senior pastors looks up at me from below in the baptistry and says, ‘Your pants are unzipped.’ I quickly turned around and my zipper was hung up and I couldn’t get ahold of it to zip it up. I stood there hugging the wall for what seemed like an eternity, everyone snickering and laughing because they knew what was going on. Of course by the time I got them zipped and got back in the baptistry to baptize another person my face was very red from embarrassment.”
“I baptized a teenager whose name was Faith. Immediately after her, I baptized a lady whose name was Barb Hill—but I called her Faith Hill. The congregation erupted with laughter!”
“I live in Tennessee. Little boy asked just before I baptized him – ‘Is it still ok for me to hate Alabama after I’m baptized?’ Congregation laughed while a few applauded.”
“After baptizing my son, I’m addressing the church while my son heads to the stairs. Next thing I know he dives down like he found a quarter feet kicking in the air.”
“Tall fellow didn’t tell me he’s afraid of water. When he began to panic, I swept his feet from under him with my leg so he would go under. He did, and then climbed me like a ladder to reach the surface, plunging me under in the process.”
“It was another freezing cold water experience when the water heaters failed. Several youth were to be baptized that evening. They all opted to brave the cold water. The first candidate got about knee deep and whispered loud enough for most everyone to hear: ‘D–n it’s cold!’ The whole congregation tried unsuccessfully to contain giggles.”
“I got my own daughter’s name wrong when I introduced her to the church before I baptized her. When I baptized my youngest daughter a few years later she handed me a note that said ‘My name is Samantha.’”
“22-years-old. Easter. Largest crowd ever. Light gray dress pants. Water got into my waders. ‘Perfect’ placement. Looked like I wet myself. No change of clothes. Had to lead worship AND preach right after baptism and the announcements. Came out and told them I was just really nervous!”
