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Pastor Judah Smith Says Pleasuring Yourself Sexually in the Confines of Marriage Is a Gift From God

Sharing that masturbation can be a productive tool, Judah said candidly, “When I’m traveling away from Chelsea…I can fantasize about Chelsea and use masturbation as a gift to keep myself focused and not caught up with other women or images or pornography.”

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Chelsea said that “lust is simply longing for something that you cannot righteously fulfill.” She then explained how it is impossible for her to lust after Judah, because he is her husband and she “can righteously fulfill a lot of things with your body.”

“Our God, our Heavenly Father, loves us so much He does not want us to give ourselves to constantly feeding desires that are only either going to destroy us if we do fulfill them, or that we’re never actually going to be able to fulfill them,” Chelsea continued. “And so what a miserable life to be living, wanting something you can never have. And so that’s why God, our loving Creator, Heavenly Father, said, ‘Hey, lust—it’s not my desire. It’s not my ultimate plan for my kids.’”

Chelsea expressed her belief that self-pleasuring falls under the standard of personal conviction, saying, “What is your personal conviction? How can you use it as a tool and as a weapon to use it for sexual purity and not against it?”

Judah closed out his response to the question by sharing that he and his wife are passionate about changing the storyline about married evangelicals and sex, saying, “There is a perception that Christians are dull and non-sexual, but Chelsea and I have a lot of fun and enjoy each other.” Judah also pointed out that he believes their healthy sex life is a weapon against sexual temptation.

Ruslan KD and Apologia Center’s Founder Respond

Ruslan KD invited Artur Asaduriyan, the founder of Apologia Center, to help him break down whether the Chelsea and Judah Smith are biblically correct in referring to masturbation as a gift from God within the context of marriage.

“I appreciate his honesty,” Asaduriyan said regarding Judah’s answer. “The question originally said before marriage, [but] Judah Smith there was talking about it in the context of his marriage with his wife, where fantasizing about your wife is not lust. You can fantasize about your wife all you want. The context of lusting has to do with fantasizing about someone who’s not your wife.”

Asaduriyan believes that self-pleasuring outside of marriage is generally an unwise decision, because it “will create bad habits.” Singles who masturbate are prone to fantasize or look at and watch things that can lead to addictions, he explained.

“I think there could be all sorts of justifications for something like masturbation [in a marriage relationship],” Asaduriyan said. He then gave an example of a husband or wife who experiences a horrible car accident and no longer has the ability to perform sexual acts with their spouse. “I think maybe in those situations, you can have a justification for [self-pleasure in a marriage relationship].” Asaduriyan shared that Judah’s example may be one of those situations.

“This is a subject that not all Christians are in agreement about, but I think there could be some justifications,” Asaduriyan said.