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T.D. Jakes: ‘Raising Up Women To Be Men’ Is Causing Us To Lose Our Families

Jakes went on to argue that even apart from the Genesis account, Christians can understand from an anatomical perspective that men were created to “pour in.” 

“Life begins when men pour in,” Jakes said. “We were designed to pour in…As it is in the physical, so it is in the spiritual.”

“[Men] are not indifferent. They’re not deaf. They’re not tone deaf. They’re not emotionally detached,” Jakes said. “Pouring in is not just about money. You’re not just a father because you sent a check.”

Jakes went on to explain that men can sometimes be better fathers than husbands, and women can sometimes be better mothers than wives. Jakes then expressed that sometimes a wife will rally her children against their father in order to get revenge for the pain he has inflicted on her. 

“The only problem is when you’re getting revenge, you’re hurting your kids,” Jakes said. “So you got the child support, but you didn’t get the child support. The court can make a man pay child support, but they can’t make him give child support. Because child support is not a check; it’s attention.”

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Jakes then said that children who aren’t poured into by their fathers are “damaged.” 

“It is hard to pour into people what was not poured into you,” Jakes said. Offering an illustration of an empty glass, Jakes picked up a pitcher, which was also empty, as a representation of the damage caused by fathers who do not pour into their children. 

“I can’t get my thirst quenched from an empty glass, and the glass can’t give me water, because the thing that was designed to pour into it was also empty,” he said. “Let me tell you why you’re dry: the thing that was designed to pour into you is empty.”

Pouring water from a separate container into the empty pitcher, Jakes explained that men need to be poured into by God in order to pour into others. He in turn poured the water from the pitcher into the glass. 

“I can’t pour into you until something is poured [into me],” Jakes said as he drank from the glass.

Later in the sermon, speaking from the perspective of a man’s wife, Jakes said, “While we appreciate the check, and your anatomical flow, until we get your emotional flow, there will always be a deficit.”

Inviting the men up to the front of the stage, Jakes told them that they are not abnormal if they are running dry or finding it difficult to remain emotionally present in their homes.

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“It’s not your fault who did or did not pour into you. But it is your fault if you do not learn how to go to God and let Him pour back into you,” Jakes said.