Regarding the boundaries that Sadie and Christian set for their relationship while dating, Sadie said they were not specific about physical boundaries, but focused on their relationship with God. “The biggest boundary was definitely loving God first and then loving each other,” she said. “And that’s still true. I hope that’s always our life.” Sadie said that if couples focus on the particular lines they don’t want to cross physically, then they will tend to go right up to those lines and are likely to cross them and feel guilty afterward. She also said that the purity talk was a “gradual conversation” she and Christian had many times.
Sadie and Christian encouraged couples to wait for marriage to have sex and to keep their desire for sex in perspective. “Marriage is so much bigger than sex,” said Sadie. “It just is.” It is a “beautiful gift” within the confines of marriage, but “there’s so much shame” when people have sex before getting married.
Sadie was careful not to condemn people who have had sex before marriage, noting that many have and that she and Christian “were not totally pure” when they began dating. When they did, however, they decided to pursue purity together, even though they did so imperfectly.
Both Sadie and Christian encouraged viewers to be aware of the content they are consuming and how it can impact their hearts. Social media, for example, can encourage lust in a person’s heart and pornography certainly will. “Purity is a heart posture,” said Sadie, noting that Christian’s past experiences with porn led him to pray a lot while dating and falling in love with her.
The couple does not believe it is wise for people who are in relationships to spend time alone with the opposite gender, whether that means spending time alone in a car, direct messaging, or talking on the phone. “We’re not crazy,” said Sadie, adding that if the interaction is normal, they don’t tell each other about it, but they would “if it’s kind of out of the blue.”
She cited the “Billy Graham Rule,” saying that the famous evangelist was not willing to be alone with a woman on an elevator and that sometimes it is necessary to go to such lengths. “We set pretty strict boundaries because we don’t want the door to ever be open to that,” she said. The couple did say it’s important to follow boundaries from a place of trust and that they see these scenarios as different for people who are not in serious relationships.
Sadie Robertson Huff encouraged newly engaged couples to remember that they are preparing for a marriage, not just a wedding. When she was engaged, this advice helped her not to stress over the details of her wedding, which did not go perfectly. “My hair literally turned pink the day before” the wedding, she said. “But it was still awesome.”
