Stanley criticized Cook, Yuan, and Butterfield, claiming that their advice isn’t “pastoral,” adding that they only spoke about the issue from a 30,000-foot view.
Stanley explained why he decided to reference those three, saying it was because of the criticism he has received for not inviting any of them to speak at the conference.
“Why weren’t they invited,” he said. “Because, in my opinion, they have nothing helpful to say to parents.” As many began to applaud, he asked them to refrain and quickly said, “And I might be wrong about that,” admitting that he is in an active text thread with Yuan and often asks him questions.
Continuing to describe what he heard on the podcast, Stanley said that Cook asked Butterfield and Yuan, “Parents ask me sometimes: Should I go to my son or daughter’s same-sex wedding? What do y’all say?”
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Before continuing, Stanley encouraged everyone to find the podcast and listen to it. “The pause is so long,” Stanley said, between Cook asking the question and them answering that “you’re gonna look at your phone and go, ‘Did I lose [reception]?’”
“And then Christopher says, ‘Well, no, I guess you could tell them you have the COVID,’” Stanley said. “And they make fun and they just laugh off the whole point. And I was so offended on behalf of I don’t know who—I just thought, what?”
The pastor then shared how two sets of parents with whom he and his wife are close were struggling with the decision of attending their daughters’ same-sex weddings. Stanley said that both fathers ending up choosing the “uncomfortable” decision to “give their daughter” away at the wedding.
One family’s daughter chose to get a divorce after finding out terrible things “about her wife” in first year of marriage. Stanley said, “Her dad is so glad he supported her in her decision because she’s leaning into him in the aftermath of this embarrassing, horrible [situation]…Because he didn’t lose influence, he parented toward the relationship, not toward his evangelical theology.”
“Good theology would encourage you to parent toward influence,” he added, “because your heavenly Father sent his Son to figure out how to get influence with you and sent his Spirit to live inside of you and dings your conscience most of the times when you do something ridiculous, right?”
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Stanley continued, “God paid an enormous price to have an influence with us. That’s the pattern.”
