Home Outreach Leaders Articles for Outreach & Missions How to Avoid Being Sexually Immoral 7 Lessons We Must Learn

How to Avoid Being Sexually Immoral 7 Lessons We Must Learn

We know we shouldn’t be alone with a member of the opposite sex, but do we keep our rule faithfully? We know we should have working porn filters on our computers, but do we?

We can all agree that any of our practices can be cumbersome at times, but situations like this remind us that they are more than worth it.

Please, brothers, for the sake of the Gospel and our churches, heed the warning today and employ whatever specific practices you need to keep yourself pure and your ministry intact.

4. Don’t just have a plurality in place—have one in practice.

Far too many churches have a plurality of elders on paper, but in reality have a senior pastor surrounded by “yes-men.” This kind of unhealthy leadership system only aids in the conducting and concealing of sexual immorality.

If you are concerned about a member on your team, even if it is the most senior leader, please have the courage to sound the alarm. Of course, this should be done personally, honorably and hoping the best for all parties involved, but silence is often exactly what allows deeds done in secret to remain in secret for so long.

Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. Too much is on the line. On a similar note, this means we also have to practically “have the backs” of our teammates in ministry.

I saw this in action a few years ago when our church was still meeting at a local high school. After our gathering, I got “cornered” by a single girl who had questions about our church. Seeing what was unfolding, one of my elders came and stood (conspicuously) next to me until our conversation was finished. He protected us all that day, and I am thankful for his friendship.

How well are you protecting your team in this area?

5. Make your wife your partner in purity.

This is a tricky issue, and there is some legitimate debate over how “in the loop” she needs to be. When it comes to how to avoid being sexually immoral, my perspective is:

Your wife needs to know enough to be prayerful, but not so much that she is paranoid.

Practically, this means your wife needs to know that emotionally needy women are often attracted to pastors, and those pastors don’t notice what is happening right before their eyes.

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dustinneeley@churchleaders.com'
Dustin is a husband, father, pastor, author, and church planter.