It also means she needs to know that regular intimacy with her is a helpful practice that can keep you from looking for it elsewhere.
It may also mean she may periodically check out your phone or Facebook page for anything inappropriate. At a minimum, protecting each other’s integrity should be a topic of regular conversation.
How are you and your wife partnering together for the sake of each other’s purity?
6. When in doubt, err on the side of caution.
Most practically, this may mean you simply don’t hire a female assistant.
Some guys do it and things are fine, but plenty of guys do it and that is exactly where everything begins to unravel. For most lead pastors, their assistant works more closely with them than nearly anyone else in their lives and, in my view, that role being held by a member of the opposite sex is a risky endeavor. I do not recommend it.
Also, unless there is some kind of extreme circumstance, I avoid traveling alone. In addition to the obvious accountability, it also affords extra mentoring time on the road for my younger pastoral or church-planting residents.
7. Never forget we are in a spiritual battle with real winners and losers.
Though we may try to ignore it, we have three very real enemies (the world, the flesh and the devil) who are all more than happy to play their part in helping us flame out of ministry.
In my experience, it also seems that the kingdom of darkness is particularly benefited when a pastor goes down because of immorality because, like a grenade, it does damage on so many levels at once.
To help me in my own struggle for purity, I reflect on this painful truth often. I picture what would happen to my wife, children and church if I chose pride and pleasure over Jesus in a moment of weakness. It drives me to the Scriptures, my wife and my ministry team to help me stay the course.
When is the last time you stopped to remind yourself of the battle we are fighting?
Brothers, time and time again, the Scriptures are clear: Sexual sin is both damaging and deadly to all it affects—especially pastors.
For the sake of all of us, please don’t become a statistic. Please pray for those closest to you (and for me) that we don’t become statistics. Please take the steps necessary to walk in integrity, and let’s cross the finish line strong together for the glory of God and the good of our families, churches and the world around us.
