For example, if I expect people to be on time for the meetings I lead, I need to be there on time.
Think about a leader you may have followed in the past who had a different set of standards than they expected of you. How did that make you feel? How did that effect your respect for them?
4. It’s Not About Perfection; It’s About Being Present and in the Game.
I can’t count how many times as a dad or husband that I didn’t have the right answer or made a mistake. But being there, being present, caring, and doing something made all the difference.
The people you lead don’t expect perfection, but they need to know you care, have their best interest at heart, and are mentally in the game.
When you lead toward a vision, you are guiding people toward a preferred future where together you’ve never been before. So, you will make mistakes. Learn from them and keep going.
5. It’s Better to Ask Questions Than to Give Directives.
When you’re under pressure and in a hurry, it’s faster and easier to give a directive than ask a question, but it’s rarely the best approach.
Listening is an artful skill that the best leaders are really good at, and they practice consistently. It includes the art of asking questions.
A profound truth I’ve learned at home is that there is always something about the story I didn’t know. So if I don’t ask questions, I will lead with partial and, therefore, faulty information.
For example, if you are counseling a married couple at your church and you speak with only the husband or only the wife. You are guaranteed to get only half the story and from a very different perspective.
There are times when you need to be very direct, make a decision and declare the way, but candidly, those times are seldom in frequency compared to the everyday process of leadership.
6. People Actually Want Leadership.
Though they sometimes may resist, the people you serve want good leadership. Leadership that is based on love and has their best interest at heart.
They are looking to you for vision.
Years ago, I led my family through a simple process to come up with a family mission statement and family values. My leadership may not have been impressive, but we did it, and that mattered.
- Are you clear on the direction you are leading this year?
- Are you making progress?
- How do you know?
7. Honesty Is the Best Policy.
Trust is core to all human connections and, therefore, to all effective leadership.
Honesty is the best policy. If you break trust, it’s ever so difficult to restore it, and it requires significant amounts of time and energy.
Speaking the truth in love is an essential practice for anyone who leads, whether at home, at church, or in business.
