Well, this book has created quite a stir. From blogs to backyard barbecues, from Saturday Night Live to moms sitting by the pool this summer, it seems everyone is talking about Fifty Shades of Grey. Many people have written Christian responses to the popularity of this title, reflecting disgust and sadness over the idea that the book’s female audience is so eager to play voyeur to the cheap and violent brand of sex portrayed in the book.
Why the fuss? Because the book might be classified as BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism) erotica? Probably not—such literature has been around for a long time. Because people are privately reading sexually titillating books? That’s nothing new. Are we surprised by the reminder that there’s a lot of money to be made in publishing works that tease people’s sexual appetites? Surely not.
It seems the real shocker is the audience. Women are reading this book. And not just “bad girls.” These are respectable ladies, moms, moral pillars of the community. These are the people our culture romanticizes as pure and good and naturally attracted to more goodness. They’re not supposed to have dirty minds.
Our collective sense of shock reflects a pervasive cultural misunderstanding about the total depravity of women.
That’s right, Hallmark. I used “depravity” and “women” in the same sentence.
A historical view shows great confusion over the nature of women. At various times and places, women have lived in Eve’s shadow, one-dimensionally viewed as temptresses, naturally corrupt and embodiments of willful temptation. In other times and places, they have been revered as daughters of Mary, the mother of Jesus—pure, naturally good, and full of grace. In our culture, it seems we have both: good girls and bad girls. And good girls are generally considered morally superior to men.
I hate this conception of women because it serves as undergirding for so many ways we disrespect and hurt women. It underlies the dichotomy and boundary of suspicion between nice girls and bad girls, and it supports the lifelong branding that comes with earning the “bad” label through one unwise choice. It perpetuates the desperation “nice girls” feel to pretend they’re perfect. It feeds the control issues many women struggle with because they feel it’s all up to them to keep society from collapsing. It serves to justify treating women as one-dimensional creatures, pinning women on the wrong end of so many double standards, and holding women responsible for men’s sexual behavior.
I also hate it because it’s simply not true.
