Did I make a mistake on taking this position? Did I not hear God? Did I just want to follow my dream at the expense of my family?
These are difficult questions that I’m still wrestling with.
My wife has been an incredible support through this whole journey, but I know she’s felt pressure as the main breadwinner. When we first had discussions about what life would look like with a baby, she was visibly disappointed with the fact that staying home for a season wasn’t on the table. Since the burden was on her while I worked in ministry, we couldn’t possibly afford it.
She’s made some big sacrifices for me to follow my dream.
And while I’m thankful for them, I know it’s time for me to step up and provide for my family in a financial sense. We’re still working through what this looks like for us. It might mean I work another part-time job. It might mean I resign from my staff position at the church. I’m in the process of doing what I have to do for my family, whatever the cost.
This has been a learning experience for both of us. In our discussions, we’ve leaned toward more progressive views of gender roles. We wanted to explore what it would look like to buck the trend of the male breadwinner for a season to see what God had for my dreams.
In retrospect, I wonder if I could have put our family in a better position before taking this risk.
Maybe I should have not made this decision in the first year of marriage. Maybe it would have been easier to stay in my full-time job.
But maybe we did exactly what we needed to do to learn that provision is ultimately in God’s hands. Maybe that verse in Timothy didn’t apply to my situation.
Maybe provision is more than a paycheck.
We partner with God as stewards of what He gives us. That might look like both partners working full time, it might look like only one person working, and it might look like something else in between.
I had to do this to learn what was best for my family. It wasn’t a black and white issue I could proof-text with a single Bible verse. I had to live through it to get perspective.
The most important thing I learned was to trust God for our provision and to be open to making adjustments along the way.
What do you think? Are you a husband or a wife? Who brings home the biggest paycheck in your house?
