One of the most precious gifts I received was at least one note from a friend every week for the entire first year after Charlotte’s death. A sweet friend compiled a list of those who had been especially invested in our journey, and she scheduled out who would write me each week. This was AMAZING for several reasons. First, it said to our family that our friends had NOT forgotten. It also provided me with encouragement and truth when sometimes I was not able to seek it out on my own. Lastly, these women shared how God was using Charlotte’s life in their own lives. This gave me such JOY in the midst of my grief to be reminded that nothing is wasted in God’s economy; He works all things for good.
On Charlotte’s first birthday, those friends gathered with me and celebrated her life. They gave me notes, encouraged me and again they said with their actions that, “We have not forgotten! You are loved! Charlotte’s life is worthy of celebration!” This year was Charlotte’s 4th birthday. Friends still gathered. A meal was shared. Cake was eaten. My girl was celebrated, and I was able to talk about what God has been teaching me recently through Charlotte Jane.
The love that God has poured out on me through friends has been nothing short of incredible. They have not forgotten. They have walked this road shoulder to shoulder with me, only letting me go alone when there was a narrow opening that I have had to face myself. Even then, they were there to greet me on the other side and to continue the journey as a visible reminder that Jesus never leaves my side, and He alone brings true freedom.
Ways You Can Minister to the Grieving
While I hope you never have to walk this road with a member of your community, the reality is, in our broken world, it’s likely that you will. I encourage you to pursue these women and rally the troops to care for them as much as possible. This is a prime opportunity for the Body of Christ to come together and function as God intended. It can be a beautiful example of the love of Christ on display for both those who follow Christ and those who don’t! I can give you multiple examples of people who were drawn to Christ because of the way the Body served our family through Charlotte’s life and death.
Here are a few tangible ways to serve women who have experienced the loss of a child:
1. Think practically. Take any weight that you possibly can.
2. Grieve with her. Allow yourself to go to those hard places with her and to feel the depths of her pain.
3. Encourage her with Truth. Remind her frequently that she is loved and lifted up, well beyond the first weeks.
4. Give her the opportunity to talk about her little one by asking questions, while always asking the Holy Spirit to guide your conversation so you know when to back off.
5. Celebrate the life of the child!
By this, all people will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35
