3. Felt needs are the connecting point.
Most unchurched people are not walking down the streets of your community thinking about the eternal destiny of their souls.
But they are thinking about something; usually something of immediate concern or interest: their job … a relationship … their health … kids … finances … a hobby.
If the Gospel of Christ is really relevant to all aspects of life (which, of course, it is), we need to show unreached people how it is relevant to their lives, as well. Research I conducted for the U.S. Navy Chaplain Corps found that the most common response of 18- to 21-year-olds, as to why they don’t attend church, was: “It’s irrelevant.”
Jesus began his conversation with the Samaritan woman on a topic of her interest—water. Then, in a microcosm of the disciple-making process, he talked about water where she would never thirst again! The implication? Don’t start with your agenda, start with theirs. Here are some key felt needs of people in your community:
- People feel disconnected and isolated, they are looking for a place to belong and feel part of a family or community.
- People are feeling the pressure of a busy and stressful world. They are looking for a greater sense of balance and ways to manage priorities.
- People sense the shallowness of superficial encounters with others. They are looking for authentic relationships.
- People are feeling empty and drained from striving to meet their desires through work, material possessions or entertainment. They are looking for spiritual answers to their unfulfilled “hunger.”
- People are feeling overwhelmed by the pace of change in every aspect of their world. They are looking for help through transitions.
When your church speaks to unreached people’s felt needs, you will get a hearing. Because now your message is, from their point of view, relevant.
4. Relationships are the glue.
Seeing people come in the “front door” is one thing; keeping them from leaving out the back door is another.
What is the primary ingredient that keeps people active in church? The research is conclusive: relationships.
According to one study, new members who stay beyond their first year make an average of seven new friends in the church … versus two for drop-outs. Put simply, if people have friends in the church, they will stay; if they don’t, they won’t.
Friendships develop when people share things in common, such as:
- Common age
- Common marital status
- Common family status
- Common interest
- Common problem
- Common need
- Common culture
Be a “relational matchmaker” when (and even before) people join your church, and you’ll see them around for a long time.
