Home Outreach Leaders Articles for Outreach & Missions What to Do When Other Christians Hurt You — 8 Responses

What to Do When Other Christians Hurt You — 8 Responses

Remember King David when Abishai cursed him? David chose not to kill his detractor, but instead he saw the persecution in light of God’s sovereign hand.

To paraphrase Romans 8:28, everything that comes into our lives, whether good or evil, first passed through the hands of a sovereign, loving God before it got to us. And He uses it for our good.

Once you make peace with God’s sovereignty and His ability to write straight with crooked lines, the more at peace you will be with those who mistreat you. While God is not the author of confusion or evil, He seeks to use all things for our transformation.

When Jesus defended Mary, He transformed her act into an immortal example of what real worship entails. Her example was such that we’re still talking about it 2,000 years later.

(4) Christians often get offended by reading into words and actions.

This usually happens when a person is oversensitive and thinskinned. In my experience, this makes up most cases in which a Christian takes offense at another believer.

As a group, Christians are the most easily offended people in the world when we should be the least. While Mary was mistreated twice, she didn’t take offense.

(5) Christians often get offended with a person when they believe false accusations against them.

Wise and discerning Christians who have been around the block ignore gossip that puts other believers in a bad light. In fact, in the eyes of the wise and discerning believer, any statement that has a defamatory tone is discredited out of the gate.

When wise and discerning believers are concerned about someone, they go straight to the person privately as Jesus taught us to do, asking questions rather than making allegations.

Some Christians, however, never think to do this. Instead, they readily believe slanderous allegations about a sister or brother in Christ without ever going to that person first.

The question “How would I want to be treated if someone were saying these things about me?” never seems to occur to them. The life of Jesus Christ always leads us to live that question. The flesh always leads us in the opposite direction.

Remember, Satan is the slanderer (that’s what “Devil” means), and he uses gossip to destroy relationships. That’s why the Bible says that believing gossip separates close friends and that one of the seven things the Lord hates is “sowing seeds of discord among brethren.”

(6) What you do when Christians hurt you is a choice you make.

You can choose to be offended and make a friend out of your hurt, feed it, take it out for daily walks, cuddle it, and protect it until it destroys you and others. A root of bitterness, if allowed to live, will defile many and prove destructive to your own spirit.

You can also choose to be offended and retaliate actively or passively.

Or you can choose to live by Christ and bring your hurt to God. Sometimes the Lord will lead you to go to the person and talk to them in a gracious manner, seeking reconciliation.

Other times He will lead you to forebear it, take it to the cross, let it go and move on. “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Sometimes He will show you that you’ve completely misinterpreted the actions of another.

1
2
3
Previous article7 Practical Thoughts on Forgiveness in Leadership
Next articleAre There Levels in Heaven?
frankviola@churchleaders.com'
FRANK VIOLA has helped thousands of people around the world to deepen their relationship with Jesus Christ and enter into a more vibrant and authentic experience of church. His mission is to help serious followers of Jesus know their Lord more deeply, gain fresh perspectives on old or ignored subjects, and make the Bible come alive. Viola has written many books on these themes, including God's Favorite Place on Earth and From Eternity to Here. His blog, Beyond Evangelical, is rated as one of the most popular in Christian circles today.