In the Powell house, we aren’t perfect, but Tiffani and I let our boys know mommy and daddy’s relationship is important. I tell them mommy is important to me. When Tiffani and I talk, they can’t interrupt. We’re affectionate in front of our children. I want them to see Tiffani and I prioritizing our marriage.
2.) To see you live out your faith, not just talk about it
Your children might listen to your words, but they will follow your actions.
You can’t pass down faith you don’t model. Jesus must impact your decisions. His ways, which are strange and puzzling to the world, must inform your walk. Read Scripture with your children. Talk about Jesus at home. But don’t leave him there when you take the kids to the ballpark. Don’t talk about justice and never help those in need.
You might think your children are naive. Maybe you’re right. But you’re also naive if you think they aren’t watching (and modeling) your actions.
3.) A life without constant connection to technology
Whether your children are newborns, toddlers or teenagers, it’s your job to disconnect them from technology. When your default response to boredom or public tantrums is technology, you build a craving in them for entertainment. You’re teaching them that life is a never-ending Disneyland experience. And you’re the tour guide. It’s not your job to entertain your children every waking moment. And it’s not your job to protect them from boredom.
I’m not against technology. But you need boundaries. Establish times when technology isn’t allowed, starting with the dinner table. Allow your children to feel boredom and work through it. It’s fun to visit Disneyland every few years. It’s exhausting when you try to bring Disneyland to your living room.
4.) Encourage them more than you correct them
Certain days, my vocabulary shrinks down to two words: no and stop. It’s so easy to highlight the negative. When your children mess up, it’s obvious. But what about the things they do right? Are you highlighting those?
As a parent, your yeses should outweigh your nos.
How often do you say, “I’m proud of you,” “I love you,” or “I’m thankful for you”? You have no idea of the power in affirmation. As a teenager, I longed for this, especially from my dad. I wanted to hear “I love you” from him so bad.
I knew he loved me, but I rarely heard it. And this left a seed of doubt in my mind.
Every day, your children make good choices. If you don’t verbalize them, it’s not just unfortunate, it’s bad stewardship. James 3 says words are like a destructive fire. Well, the opposite is also true. Words build up. Affirmative words that go unspoken are equivalent to extravagant gifts that go unopened.
Are you affirming your children? Do you build up more than you tear down?
