Recently I was talking with a new friend about his church background. I asked him if he went to church. “No,” he said, “I’ve not been to church in quite a while.” As I pushed a bit deeper he told me a number of things that helped me get to know him a bit better, but he also said some things that helped me to see how unbelievers view evangelical churches. This is particularly enlightening because my friend had been to a megachurch in a metropolitan Midwestern city. From the outside looking in this church seems to be reaching all kinds of people. The parking lot is full, they have multiple services and an annual budget in the millions. But my new friend hasn’t been back since.
I asked him why. “The music was a joke,” he said bluntly. “Who sings like that?” At first I was taken back and wondered if it was the doctrinal content that offended him. Preparing to make an argument for biblical singing I had my reply interrupted. “It is just sappy. It’s not real.” As we talked he told me that instead of it being offensive for content it was offensive because it lacked content. He looked around at the people and saw a bunch of emotional reactions and he wondered what they were so worked up about. The music was kind of cheesy.
I asked about what else informed his decision to stop going. “The preaching.” He went on to say that the pastor was simply a motivational speaker. He talked about all kinds of things but rarely talked about God. I checked for myself. Sadly, he was right. It grieves me to consider the ministry of a church that says Jesus’ name a lot but rarely preaches Jesus. There is a difference.
As the discussion went on I was able to figure out why he had so thoughtfully engaged with this experience. He went to church looking for something. You might say he was a seeker. In his case, he was truly seeking to learn about God. He wanted to see how Christians worshiped. But notice the painful irony: The church in its effort to be relevant to the unchurched was actually irrelevant to this seeker. They had unwittingly unchurched the church. At the time of his visit my friend wanted answers to some important (and extremely relevant) questions he had. He went to what seemed like the right place—a Christian church with a lot of people. However, what he found was a ecclesiological Potemkin village. This church’s unhealthy quest for relevance led them to a startling place of irrelevance.
This raises an important question. Who exactly are these churches reaching? My friend was a real seeker (you could argue a seeker of the best kind—a seeker of God!), but he left disappointed. He seems to be exactly the type of guy who these churches are targeting, yet he leaves and never returns, frustrated by the whole schtick. In his helpful book (review) The Prodigal Church: A Gentle Manifesto Against the Status Quo, Jared Wilson analyzes the church growth movement and wonders the same thing. After culling the research data he concludes,