A CHALLENGE AND A CAUTION
The challenge is for every church and Christian to see the importance of engaging our neighbors—the people God has specifically put in our lives. Whether it’s a house we drive past each and every morning or a co-worker we talk to each and every day.
The cold hard truth is many of us don’t even know who’s living next door. Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon in their book, The Art of Neighboring, devised an ingenious exercise to see how well we know our neighbors. Draw a chart with nine boxes (think tic-tac-toe) and mark your home at the center. The other boxes are the eight nearest neighbors in your apartment complex, dorm, or block. In each box, jot down three items of information about each neighbor: First, their name. Second, a simple fact—e.g., “works at UPS” or “mother of three.” Third, an in-depth fact—e.g., “wants to be a lawyer” or “had a bad experience with religion.” Pathak and Runyon have come to refer to this as the “chart of shame” because so few of us can get past question one.[iv]
You see the challenge, don’t you? It’s hard to have meaningful conversations about anything with your neighbors if you don’t actually know them.
The caution is just as important. We must not to treat our neighbors as projects. They aren’t machines that need their controls adjusted before they overheat. Care about people for who they are (God’s image bearers) and not simply for whom they may become (our brothers and sisters in Christ).[v]
This is a tension I feel when I look at my calendar. Life is full, and I want to be a good steward of my time. I’m not looking for deep friendships with people who don’t know Christ. And yet, if I make no room for unbelieving neighbors, am I really living out the Great Commandment (Matt. 22:37–38), much less the Great Commission (Matt. 28:19–20)? And if I engage them only because they may one day be children of God, don’t I risk seeing them as a battle to be won instead of a neighbor to be served? I think so.
The challenge is to know our neighbors. The caution is to beware of treating them as objects that need to be fixed instead of people who need to be loved.
THE END GOAL
As a Christian, I cannot deny how much I long for my neighbors to know what I know: Jesus Christ is Lord. We’ve been made to know and love God. All of us fall short and deserve eternal punishment. But God, in his love, made a way of escape. The Father sent the Son into the world. Jesus lived a perfect life and, therefore could die as a perfect sacrifice in the place of all who would turn and trust in him. His resurrection proves he really is the King of Kings, and now all are called to follow him. This is the gospel, it’s the heart of my life, and it’s what I want my neighbors to hear and believe. This is not the only goal of good neighboring, but it is the end goal. I appreciate how Willis and Clement make this point:
Clearly the aim of hospitality is more than merely inviting someone into our home, sharing a good meal and a few stories, and calling it a night. We are missionaries, after all. Paul reminded us, “We are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us” (2 Cor. 5:20). And pastor Charles Spurgeon said, “Every Christian…is either a missionary or an imposter.”[vi]
I want to share Christ with my Uber driver, my barista and anyone that crosses my path. However, I want to be especially faithful with those God has planted in my life. These are my nearest neighbors, and I have a unique responsibility to show them Christ. Furthermore, I don’t want to be a beast in the pulpit but a coward in my neighborhood! I’m sure you don’t either.
MOVING FORWARD
How can you (and I) grow in being a gospel neighbor for the glory of God? Here are 10 imperatives I pray God uses to move us in the right direction.
1. Name the people God has placed near you. This goes back to the “chart of shame” mentioned in the Art of Neighboring. Give yourself a few weeks or even months, but do all you can to figure out who is around you.
2. Start praying for your neighbors by name. Be like that persistent widow in Luke 18. Plead with God to open doors (Cor. 16:9). He can do this.
3. Strategize ways to welcome them into your life. The book The Simplest Way to Change the World: Biblical Hospitality as a Way of Life is full of practical and easy ways you can open up your home to your neighbors. It’s a good read. It’s going to take some work to figure out if you need to spend more time going to block parties or simply open up your home once a quarter for a cookout. You may already have relationships with neighbors you can pursue. Is it time to see who’s interested in reading the Bible with you?
