Why Can't We Be Friends?

Can men and women just be friends? Seems like the age old debate, but as I get older I’ve come around a little on this one. I used to think it was pretty much impossible but now (with obvious guidelines) I think it can happen. In fact I think it’s important when it comes to creating the Biblical community God has called us to.

I read an interesting article HERE the other day where Dan Brennan brought up some great points.

Friendship between men and women. Is it possible without the sex part getting in the way? For many, sex is the one reason why men and women should steer clear of intimacy in friendship, and for years that was what I was taught in the church. But what would our marriages, our churches, and our communities look like if men and women were not afraid of connecting with each other in deep ways? As I have studied both the Scriptures and the history of friendship between men and women in the church, I have become convinced that there are compelling arguments for reconsidering male-female friendship within Christian communities.

I know as well as any other the dangers that can occur when men and women engage in friendships. However, I love the way Dan addressed this saying…

While sin and brokenness have impacted our sexuality as much as any other part of us, we are not called to merely manage the old order, but to walk with bold humility into the Kingdom of God. Jesus did not come merely to end violence, sexism, oppression, and lust. He came to usher us into a new world, a new way of life and love, and a new embodied communion with each other in marriage, in friendship, and community.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Do you think men and women can just be friends?

Do you think this really matters when it comes to Biblical community?

Do the think it’s worth the risk?

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Pete Wilson
Pete Wilson is the founding pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN and author of a new book entitled Plan B, his thoughts about what to do when life doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would. He is a frequent blogger on his popular ministry blog, WithoutWax.tv. Pete is married and has three sons.