Everyone wants to have an awesome family. Few are willing to do what it takes. Don’t believe me? Look around. Families everywhere are falling apart. Some survive. Families we were made to more than just survive. They were created to thrive! The reality is that a thriving family doesn’t just happen by accident. It takes hard work, a lot of self-sacrifice and a great deal of intentionality. Here are 6 Keys To Developing An Awesome Family:
Self awareness– The family that helps one another become more self-aware is the family that helps one another have greater impact outside the doors of the home. By self-aware, I mean that each person knows who they are, and how they are impacting those around them. For example, the self-aware child learns how to respect their parents or siblings or the self-aware husband knows the impact their words are having on others in the home. A lot of families try to “protect” one another, but are not helping each other become more and more self aware. Families striving for self awareness “call it like it is” and help each other realize one another’s blind spots as well as strong points.
Unconditional love– This is the foundation for a healthy family. Unconditional love says, “My love for you is not tied to your performance or any other external circumstance. It is not conditional based on what you do.” This type of love creates an atmosphere of trust in the home. It allows others to know that the family is a safe place even when the rest of the world dishes out conditional love (I only accept you if you perform well, look good or love me back in return). An atmosphere of unconditional love creates an environment for emotional and relational development that will put each individual in a place where they can grow and succeed in life. It gives permission to take risks, knowing that failure can and probably will happen at some point, but that failure is ok. Want an awesome family? Fill it with unconditional love.
Family Vision & Values- Most families don’t have a defined vision or set of values. Honestly, they take a lot of work to create. The result is usually an unclear direction and even conflict down the road. The family with a vision is able to go places as one and have greater impact in life. Much like a laser, when every individual is moving in the same direction, the concentrated energy can have significant impact! This family is able to make decisions based not upon convenience, but rather upon a set of values that everyone holds as important. For example, in my family, when time demanding things come up that fall outside of our vision and values, we can simply say, “No thank you.” We have already thought through what is most important to us, so it is easy to say no to the less important things.
Intentional Time– We plan to spend time together each day as a family. It doesn’t always work out, but most days we are spending some sort of intentional time as a family. We usually make and eat breakfast together and usually dinner as well. No phones or TV during this time, just conversation. We will typically read a story to the girls or something from YouVersion.com. We always talk about what is going on in and around us. Quality time leads to quality communication, which leads to trusting relationships. Without intentional time, you will not have the environment necessary for healthy relationships to develop.
Fun Traditions- Our family likes to have fun. A lot of fun. Over the years, we’ve started several family traditions that we look forward to and call our own. Some are simple and silly, others are more meaningful. For example, we take a week vacation every fall to the beach or some place warm. We look forward to this time each year and it gives us something to talk about, plan for and remember. Traditions are a great way to bring your family together and have fun with one another! They are a way to give your family an identity of its own- something to be proud of.
Spiritual development– Spiritual development points outside of the family to draw upon strength that it otherwise would not have alone. Without a spiritual element in a family, it is like an unanchored ship on a stormy sea. When the storms come, and they will, the family without a spiritual foundation will be much more likely to fall apart. Faith will anchor your family down and at the same time release it to reach places it would never reach on its own. When your kids leave the home, they will have be able to own their own faith and achieve more in life than they ever could without faith.
These 6 Keys are just a few I came up with. Which ones are the most difficult for you and why? What other elements lead to having an Awesome Family? Love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
