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10 Ways to Tell if You’re a Snob

I have to admit that when I began tallying up the Top 10 posts of 2011 on Modern Reject, I was a bit surprised to see this one in the running. I mean, I suppose I shouldn’t be because lots of people suspect they are snobs and were happy to finally have found a definitive answer.

Joking aside, this post, just like #9, gathered a lot of steam over time. Whenever I re-read this one, it still makes me smile. Why? Because I am completely a snob. Are you? Read on to find out…


10 Ways to Tell if You are a Snob

I’m a snob. I admit it. I dabble in snobbery. I know it’s not always the best course of action and can often lead to awkward social situations and even hurt feelings.

My intentions are never to hurt anyone’s feelings. Truly. I just happen to be particular. I prefer things a certain ways. I have opinions on just about everything, from the clothes people wear (or I wear), to movies, trends,  and politics. I’m a bit of a church snob too, in that, I know what I like and don’t like in  a church, for example.

What some people would call snobbery, I call being opinionated and stating one’s preference. And as long as it is done so with an air of humility and with the understanding that you can’t take anything too seriously, I say bring on the snob.

Now you might be asking yourself…”Am I a snob too?” “How would I know?” “What does a snob look like?”

Well here are 10 ways too tell if you too might be a bit of a snob…(go ahead, I know you’re curious)

1. Your food or drink  orders contains three or more steps e.g. “Low fat,” “decaf,” “no foam,” “extra hot,” “on the side,” “no mayo,” “very annoying.” You get the idea.

2. You must have the latest and greatest gadget, do-hickey, or thingamabob, in whatever area of recreation/hobby you enjoy. i.e. You are a tech snob, so you pre-ordered the iPad, before it could even be pre-ordered and then proceeded to traipse around town singing about its coolness. Same goes for clothes, cars, pretty much anything.

3. You have a secret rating scale, rating everything from peoples clothing, to coworkers performance, to your friend’s spouses or significant others. They get a passing grade, or an 8 out of 10, or a thumbs down.

4. You avoid, via manipulation or strategy, visiting certain establishments that you deem uncool. Your mom says “Lets go to Olive Garden for dinner.” You say (manipulatively), “Or let’s try that new place Olive and Ivy (a delicious local joint)…it still has the word “olive” in the title,” thereby secretly advancing your own restaurant agenda.

5. You purport to be an expert in certain areas, even with no formal training or education, simply because you like these things and think that you have earned the right to be an “expert.” For instance, you pretend essentially, to be an expert on movies, and say things like “Well, his first film was quite avant-garde, very noir, but his second film, in my opinion falls short, both in terms of direction and plot.” Umm, can anybody say “snobbish”?

6. No one knows exactly how you might respond to a new trend or event because you yourself don’t even know yet. Not until you have witnessed or experienced something fully can you make up your mind…then and only then will something be worthy of your praise, or not. You can not be persuaded by others either. You decide if something is cool. You and you alone.

7. You exclaim that certain duties are not within your job description. For example, you don’t do dishes, or yard work, or fetch coffee, or file papers, or clean windows, or change diapers, or whatever it is you refuse to do.

8. You have or have had people refer to you as “stuck up”, “snobbish”, “elitist”, or “generally snooty”.

9. You avoid tends simply because they are trendy. If everyone likes it you reason,  then it must not be very cool. If Glee is en vogue, then out it goes. If Lady Gaga is hot, you find her cold.

10. You tend to state the obvious but say it in such a way as to sound well-informed and ahead of the curve. For example, “Today is going to be hot and sunny, so we should sit in the shade.” Meanwhile those with you are sweating and panting, quite aware that it is hot and sunny.

There you have it, just a few ways to tell if you too might be a snob. Don’t worry, this list does not reflect upon your character. I personally like a little bit of snob in everyone. It keeps things interesting.

What are some others way to tell if you are a snob? Are you guilty of any of these snobbish behaviors? Tell me I’m not the only one.

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Nicole Cottrell is trained in the fine art of button-pushing. She uses her skills daily on Modern Reject where she writes about the intersection of faith and culture as well as the unpopular stuff no one else likes to talk about. Nicole is a speaker, writer, discipler, and coffee fanatic. She and her husband planted the Foundation, a network of house churches in Arizona. Nicole lives in Scottsdale with her husband and two little munchkins, three of the coolest and funniest people she knows.