The Trust Meter

I’ll admit that at times I have a hard time trusting certain people. I generally develop my feelings of distrust after someone has done something intentionally or unintentionally that makes me question their character. And let’s be honest, if you’re in any kind of relationship with someone long enough from time to time they’re going to act in a way that will bring the issue of “trust” to the forefront.

We all have a trust-meter. Every time you interact with another person your trust-meter goes up or down based on a set of factors that would include such things as the person’s truth-telling record, their commitment keeping pattern, their confidentiality, their consistency in character, etc. This is true of all of your relationships…

co-workers

parents

children

friends

spouse

pastor

All of this happens subconsciously. So when you have a person in your life that gossips about another one of your friends or doesn’t show when they say they’ll show or you catch them in a lie, your trust-meter goes down.

When your trust-meter goes down the natural tendency for most of us is to begin to withdraw. And generally the further we withdraw the more suspicious we become of the other person. This almost always either stunts or at least redefines the relationship.

Now some of you need to realize your trust-meter is broken. It’s giving you false readings. Because of the baggage from your past your trust-meter is all jacked up.

So what do you do? The wise person when confronted with a relationship where the trust meter is headed south will engage instead of withdraw. God has really been growing me in this area of my life. He’s been prompting me to engage in that relationship and sit down and talk about the issues. Tell them about the doubts creeping into my mind and heart. The goal here is to find out if there is actually betrayal going on (that requires further conversations) or if I’m getting false readings.

Previous articleThe Quality of Your Life Depends on This One Thing
Next articleLearning to Say No
petewilson@churchleaders.com'
Pete Wilson is the founding pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN and author of a new book entitled Plan B, his thoughts about what to do when life doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would. He is a frequent blogger on his popular ministry blog, WithoutWax.tv. Pete is married and has three sons.