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Nice Guy, Good Pastor . . . But a Bad Friend?

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Most pastors are nice people, they just don’t make good friends. That may seem harsh to say, but as a pastor, I think it is true. Hear me out: being a good pastor might make you a bad friend. Pastoral ministry is an all encompassing job. It is highly relational, emotional, mental and spiritual. It can be draining physically and overwhelming. It isn’t harder than other jobs, it is just different.

Because you can get a call at any moment with something that needs attention, many pastors burnout and struggle to have boundaries so they can rest and recharge.

Nice Guy, Good Pastor . . . But a Bad Friend?

Pastors spend so much time counseling people, helping people work through issues or sitting in meetings that when they meet someone, they often see them as a project instead of a person. They see them as someone who will need something, someone who will need advice or need to be fixed instead of a person to simply spend time with.

For most pastors, church is something they are always thinking about. The next capital campaign, new ministry year, next sermon series, next issue, hiring a new person. It never stops. They spend all their time with people talking about church. They sit with their wife on date night and talk about church. It is not just a job, it is their life. It is who they are and this becomes unhealthy.

Then, they meet someone new and they can’t stop talking about church. They can’t shut it off.

5 Ideas to Avoid Being a Bad Friend:

What do you do then? How can you become a better friend if you are a pastor? Here are 5 ideas:

  1. Have friends who don’t attend church (or your church). This is crucial. If you don’t have any friends who don’t attend church, that’s a great clue that you aren’t good at friendships. Churched people will tolerate a pastor who don’t stop talking about church or is a poor friend because they want to be close to a pastor. An unchurched person won’t take that.
  2. Have a no church talk zone. There should be a time of day, a day each week where you stop talking about church stuff. Stop thinking about, stop checking your email. Don’t talk about it at least once a week. For many pastors this will be so hard to do, but incredibly healthy.

Leading Youth Worship Night: Creative Ideas for Teens

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Leading youth worship night lets teens deepen their faith and grow as leaders. Praise bands are an effective approach, but teens can worship in many ways. Students have amazing God-given gifts. And they can use them to minister powerfully to others!

Try some of these ideas that have kids leading youth worship night.

10 Ideas for Leading Youth Worship Night

1. Use a theme to set the tone.

First choose a biblical theme to connect all elements of worship. Series are a hit with young people, as are cultural issues. Or you can work through a book of the Bible in your youth services.

2. Let teens express themselves.

Yes, music is central to many worship experiences. But teens can engage in many other forms of worship too. Examples include:

Creative Arts Worship

  • Spoken Word Poetry: Challenge teens to write and perform poetry that reflects their faith or the worship theme.
  • Dance: Through movement, teens can praise God physically.
  • Art Stations: Let kids paint, sketch, or craft as they reflect on Scripture. Then display the creations as a gallery of praise.

Prayer Experiences

  • Interactive Prayer Walls: Provide sticky notes and pens. Then teens can write and display prayer requests and praises.
  • Guided Prayer Walks: Lead teens around your church or neighborhood. Along the way, stop to focus on different aspects of prayer (e.g., confession, thanksgiving, intercession).
  • Scripture Journaling: Provide journals and suggest specific Bible verses or topics for reflection.

3. Let teens lead worship.

Next, remember to empower teens. Young people can serve in a variety of roles.

  • Musicians: Many kids are skilled singers or instrumentalists. Help them prepare thematic, teen-friendly songs.
  • Tech Team: Recruit tech-savvy teens to manage sound, lighting, and visuals.
  • Hosts and MCs: Kids can serve as greeters and readers at any church service.
  • Testimonies: Encourage teens to share their faith stories. A brief account can inspire others and show how God is working.

4. Create quiet moments.

Worship is both public and personal. So along with corporate praise, include quiet times for reflection. Play soft music as teens pray. Suggest prompts like “What is God saying to you?” Or “How can you trust Jesus more?”

After the main worship time, form small groups. Then discuss the theme, Scripture, or a devotion. Equip small-group leaders (teens or adults) with questions like:

  • What stood out to you during worship?
  • How can you live out what you learned?

5. Make worship accessible.

Ensure everyone feels welcome and can participate. A warm greeting at the door sets the tone. Also use decor and lighting to make the environment inviting.

Select songs that are easy to sing and understand. Choose a mix of familiar favorites and newer songs. When you ask teens for input, they feel more ownership.

‘I Never Covered Up Anything’—Daystar’s Joni Lamb Claims ‘Narrative Was Written by Some Low-Level Blogger’

Joni Lamb Jonathan Lamb Suzy Lamb Daystar
(L) Joni Lamb discusses being accused of covering up alleged sexual abuse of family member. Screengrab via YouTube / Daystar (R) Jonathan and Suzy Lamb discuss their story with Marcus Rogers. Screengrab via YouTube / Marcus Rogers

On Tuesday, Dec. 3, Joni Lamb, the co-founder and president of Daystar Television Network, released a video denying allegations that she covered up abuse.

The video shows Lamb answering questions from her friends Cindy Murdock, Dorothy Newton, Cindy Johnston, and Anna Kendall. Unlike in her previous video statement, which was released on Nov. 25, Lamb provided more details into what happened on the day on which her family member, referred to as “Pete,” is accused of sexually abusing her 5-year-old granddaughter during a family retreat in August 2021, as well as an incident in November 2020.

“My first knowledge of any abuse was in November of 2020, and Suzy [Jonathan’s wife] called me and said there had been an incident at my granddaughter’s preschool, and she told me that something had happened where a little boy touched her and her friend,” Lamb explained. “[Suzy] called me and asked me, ‘Would I go to school with her?’ And I said, ‘Absolutely.’”

RELATED: Daystar Christian TV Empire Rocked by Allegations of Abuse, Cover-Ups, and Smear Campaign

Lamb shared that she accompanied Suzy to the school, saying, “We reported it to the school, and of course, you know, I was there to encourage and as I would for any child, but especially my granddaughter. And so that was the incident that happened.”

Lamb then claimed that allegations against her by Jonathan and Suzy Lamb written about in The Roys Report have been “taken out of context. That was the incident that happened in 2020,” she said, “and I was there, and Suzy actually called me to go there.”

Joni Lamb Details 2021 Incident That Took Place at a Family Retreat

Jonathan and Suzy are claiming that Jonathan’s brother-in-law, whom they have anonymously been referring to as “Pete,” sexually abused their 5-year-old daughter at a family retreat in 2021.

Lamb explained that there was “another incident written about that was an incident that happened at our family retreat. This was in 2021, [when] we were all staying in this house together.”

“My two older grandchildren were staying in an upstairs bedroom, and it was a long room, and there was a bunk bed on one side, and there was another bunk bed on the other side,” Lamb continued. “And so my grandson was talking about that he had the city view, and he was saying his sister had the beach view. So one afternoon, he was talking about that, and who they call Pete was in the room holding a 1-year-old baby boy.”

“So they went up the stairs, the grandson and Pete, and Pete had the baby,” Lamb said, adding, “All those details have been left out.”

RELATED: Embattled Daystar Demands Retraction; Journalist Defends Reporting

Lamb reminded everyone that she was in the house when the alleged sexual abuse occurred, saying, “I heard this whole conversation…My granddaughter went up to the room and went over to her side while Pete and the baby and my grandson were looking out the window at the city view.” Lamb said that it was while her grandson and son-in-law were looking out the window that her 5-year-old granddaughter, whom Pete allegedly abused while he was in the room, “proceeded to put her bathing suit on.”

“Well, about the time she started to put it on,” Lamb added, “Jonathan comes running up the stairs and says [to Pete], ‘What are you doing in here while she’s changing? What are you doing?’”

Jonathan and Suzy described the incident differently to The Roys Report, saying that Pete was alone and followed their 5-year-old daughter upstairs as she was going to change into her swimsuit.

2 Kindergarteners Shot at Christian School Remain Stable but in Critical Condition

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Police officers stand near a body covered by a tarp outside of Feather River Adventist School after a shooting Wednesday, Dec. 4, 2024, in Oroville, Calif. (Michael Weber/The Chico Enterprise-Record via AP)

Two kindergarteners are in “extremely critical condition” after a gunman opened fire at a small, private Christian school in Northern California Wednesday afternoon.

Authorities believe that the gunman, who died by what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound, might have targeted Feather River Adventist School in Oroville because it is affiliated with the Seventh-day Adventist denomination.

“The five and six-year-old victims from yesterday’s shooting are in critical but stable condition as they continue to receive treatment at an area hospital,” said the Butte County Sheriff’s Office (BCSO) in an update the afternoon of Thursday, Dec. 5. “We have positively identified the suspect and are diligently working to establish the motive.”

KCRA 3’s Carolina Estrada interviewed several children who were on the playground or heading back to class when they heard gunshots. “We were running to the gym,” said sixth grader Jocelyn with emotion. “I looked back and I saw a shadow with a gun, so I told most people to run even faster.”

“My face had a cold expression, but inside I was breaking down,” she said.

“It was heartache. You know, are you gonna see your child?” one father told Estrada.

RELATED: ‘We Forgive Her’—Pastor Says Church Is Praying Weekly for Wynonna Judd’s Daughter Following Alleged Theft of Church Van

Tragedy at Feather River Adventist School 

Feather River Adventist School is a small, private Christian school in a rural area that “exists to show children Jesus, nurture their love for Him and others, teach them to think, and empower them to serve.” It has only 35 students enrolled in kindergarten through eighth grade. 

In a press conference the evening of Wednesday, Dec. 4, Butte County Sheriff Kory Honea offered what information he could and took questions from the media. Honea said that at 1:08 p.m. that day, California Highway Patrol began receiving 911 calls from Feather River Adventist School, and a California highway patrol officer arrived on scene only two minutes later.

The officer found an adult male who was deceased, apparently from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The officer also found and secured a handgun near the man’s body. Four minutes later, deputies with the Butte County Sheriff’s Office arrived and began to give medical aid to the injured students, as well as search the campus for additional threats. 

Navigating Personal Grief and Shock in Church Leadership

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When a leader in your church experiences a moral failure, the fallout can be overwhelming. As a pastor or church staff member, you are not only responsible for guiding your congregation through this difficult time, but you are also dealing with your own emotions. It’s crucial to acknowledge and navigate your own grief and shock effectively to maintain your well-being and provide the best support to others.

Recognizing the Signs of Grief and Shock

Grief and shock can manifest in various ways. Recognizing these signs is the first step in addressing your emotions. Common symptoms include:

Emotional Numbness: Feeling detached or unable to process emotions.

Anger and Frustration: Experiencing intense anger towards the situation or individuals involved.

Sadness and Depression: Feeling deep sorrow, hopelessness, or a lack of motivation.

Anxiety and Fear: Worrying about the future and the implications of the moral failure.

Physical Symptoms: Fatigue, headaches, stomach issues, or changes in sleep patterns.

Cognitive Disruptions: Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things.

Accepting Your Emotions

It is essential to accept your emotions without judgment. Understand that feeling grief and shock is a natural response to a traumatic event. Allow yourself to experience these emotions fully instead of suppressing them. This acceptance is a crucial step towards healing.

Practical Steps To Navigate Your Emotions

Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues. Talking about your feelings can provide relief and perspective.

Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This could include exercise, prayer, meditation, reading, or hobbies you enjoy.

TD Jakes Files Defamation Suit Targeting ‘Malicious Lies’; Defendant’s Attorney Says Pastor ‘Faked’ Medical Episode

Bishop T.D. Jakes preaches on Nov. 24. Screengrab from YouTube / @TDJakesOfficial

One day after Bishop T.D. Jakes experienced a medical emergency during worship, the founder of The Potter’s House filed a defamation lawsuit against a former Pennsylvania pastor and convicted felon. Jakes, 67, is accusing Duane Youngblood, 57, of making false accusations of attempted sexual assault.

During two appearances on the “Larry Reid Live” talk show earlier this fall, Youngblood alleged that Jakes tried to groom and assault him almost 40 years ago. According to the bishop’s lawsuit, afterward, Youngblood demanded $6 million from Jakes—saying that without a payment, he would sue the bishop for sexual assault and harassment.

RELATED: TD Jakes Didn’t Have a Stroke, but Says It ‘Could’ve Been Fatal’

As ChurchLeaders has reported, Jakes fell ill Nov. 24 while leading worship at his Dallas megachurch. One week later, the bishop shared that he didn’t suffer a stroke, but it “could’ve been fatal.” Jakes, who said he was rushed to the ICU and had emergency surgery, praised God for his miraculous intervention and thanked congregants for their prayers.

Lawsuit: TD Jakes Confronts ‘Malicious Lies’

Jakes, who has faced previous unproven allegations of sexual wrongdoing, indicated he’s taking legal action against Youngblood to “set the record straight” and restore his reputation. “Youngblood’s intentional and malicious lies have taken a substantial emotional and physical toll on Bishop Jakes,” the suit noted.

Youngblood, a convicted sex offender who served additional prison time for violating probation, claimed that when he was a teenager, Jakes “tried to kiss me.”  The following day, Youngblood alleged, Jakes called him while bathing to say he planned to sleep with the teen.

According to Jakes’ filing, Youngblood’s allegations are “false and defamatory” and “as damaging and damning as anyone can make about a prominent pastor and spiritual leader.” The lawsuit aims to halt an extortion “scheme” and to “end the extreme emotional, physical, and spiritual toll Defendants’ conduct has caused Bishop Jakes.”

In addition to Youngblood, the suit lists 10 unnamed defendants who “have acted in concert and agreement with Youngblood in order to commit defamatory conduct.” Jakes is seeking damages of more than $75,000, as well as punitive damages, attorney fees, and financial damages “in an amount to be specifically determined at trial.”

Earlier this year, Jakes was briefly mentioned but not named as a defendant in legal action taken against disgraced hip-hop mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs. Fact-checkers determined that misinformation—partially produced by artificial intelligence—was involved.

Duane Youngblood Sued for Defamation

Jakes’ legal team wrote that Youngblood’s accusations are also damaging to legitimate abuse victims. “Bishop Jakes believes with all his heart that actual victims of sexual abuse should be treated with the utmost respect, kindness, empathy, and sympathy—and that true perpetrators of such abuse should be held accountable for their actions,” the suit reads.

Eric Metaxas Apologizes to Bonhoeffer’s Relatives but Does Not Definitively Retract Claim That They Are ‘Pro-Hamas’

Eric Metaxas
Screengrab via Rumble / @The Eric Metaxas Radio Show

Author Eric Metaxas has apologized to the relatives of Dietrich Bonhoeffer for referring to them as “pro-Hamas lunatics” and “Jew haters,” though he did not definitively retract those statements. 

Metaxas is the author of several books but is perhaps best known for “Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy,” a biography of the famed theologian and pastor, who was killed in 1945 for opposing the Nazi regime in Germany. 

While Metaxas is not officially involved in the production of the Angel Studios biopic “Bonhoeffer,” he has praised the film and promoted it in a personal capacity. 

Metaxas’ comments against a group of Bonhoeffer’s relatives came during an interview with political commentator Glenn Beck and were in response to criticism Metaxas and Angel Studios received from the group for, in their words, associating Bonhoeffer with “far-right, violent movements such as Christian Nationalists and others who are trying to appropriate him today.”

“We are horrified to see how the legacy of Dietrich Bonhoeffer is increasingly being distorted and misused by right-wing extremists, xenophobes, and religious agitators,” the group said in a statement on Oct. 18. 

Eric Metaxas: Bonhoeffer Relatives Are ‘Pro-Hamas Lunatics’ and ‘Jew Haters’

In his conversation with Beck, Metaxas characterized the group of Bonhoeffer’s relatives as “guaranteed pro-Hamas lunatics.”

“So these are Jew-hating lunatics claiming to speak for the man who died for the Jews of Europe, Dietrich Bonhoeffer,” Metaxas said. “I mean, let’s be clear.” 

“Look, these people…they’re unhinged, there’s no talking to them, they have their view, it’s a free country, but they’re crazy,” Metaxas went on to say. “They don’t care about the facts. They just know they hate you. They hate Trump. Like, they don’t know what they think.”

Following Metaxas’ remarks, Bonhoeffer’s relatives reportedly indicated that they were considering legal action against Metaxas. 

“Eric Metaxas is once again spreading unbelievable lies and slandering our family,” they said. “No one from the Bonhoeffer family has ever spoken out pro-Hamas or anti-Jewish. On the contrary: We fight terror and anti-Semitism wherever we can.”

RELATED: Director of ‘Bonhoeffer: Pastor. Spy. Assassin,’ Formerly an Atheist, Hopes Film Inspires ‘Bravery’

Metaxas Issues an Apology

Earlier this week, Metaxas took time on his radio show to issue an apology—but not before reiterating his grievances with Bonhoeffer’s relatives. 

Ministry Plus Holidays

christmas in the church
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With the busy swing of Christmas in the church world comes an annual reminder to all pastors that tending to your immediate family and your church family is quite the balancing act. While many people look forward to traditions and the sweet moments of the season, pastors go into “full-steam-ahead” mode.

There are special services, new guests, and long hours to cover. And while you likely find joy in the many extra opportunities to reach and serve the lost in this season, it’s ok to admit the challenge as well. Pastoral ministry plus personal family ministry is not always an easy equation.

And while we’re at it, let’s debunk the “balance” myth that seems to be an ever-present, yet unattainable goal. It is rare (if possible at all) to find a pastor who has perfectly balanced hours for all of life’s priorities. Pastoral ministry comes with seasons. Learning to navigate those seasons well is the key to a healthy life when it comes to “balance.”

Here are five, practical tips you can be encouraged by today as you spend healthy family and ministry time during the holidays!

  1. Set your calendar, and stick to your commitments.
    Everything has a season. This is true in ministry as well. Christmas, for example, will not be a slow season as long as you’re a pastor. It’s the time when activities and special services ramp up! It’s a big highlight for your church, and it’s a huge time of serving and giving. As you consider what a healthy pace in your family life looks like, be intentional to know the season you’re entering.It might not be realistic to say you’re going to have a family game night every night in December, but what time can you intentionally commit to? Maybe it’s a set-aside night where your family will read the Christmas story together. Maybe you reserve one Friday for watching a movie together. Perhaps you make it a priority to always be available for your kids’ Christmas programs.Intentionally map out your calendar, write it down, share it with your spouse, and then stick to your commitments. When your expectations are set before the busy season hits, you’re setting yourself and your family up for success.
  2. Be fully engaged where you are.
    As you plan ahead and intentionally schedule your time, it should allow you to be fully present wherever you are. If you’re spending a family night at home, it’s family night. Be intentional with your conversation and your attention. This isn’t the time to verbally process the stressful board meeting you just attended or worry about next week’s attendance. It’s time for family conversation and quality time.You will likely find extra refreshment by setting these kinds of boundaries. The next time you get to your ministry work, you’ll come with a renewed perspective and rest.
  3. Invite your family into the busy ministry season.
    When ministry is a way of life, there is a difference between “always working” and inviting your family into ministry. What events, serving projects, and other church functions can you invite your family to be a part of so you can get the best of ministry plus quality family time? One mistake pastors make is assuming you have to keep the two separate at all times.Christmas brings a beautiful opportunity for your kids to see what it looks like to serve people well. Invite them to participate, to lead with you, and to find their own gifts in serving.
  4. Don’t neglect the Sabbath.
    It’s interesting how pastors can neglect their own spiritual health in the season with the highest potential and reach at church. More than ever, you—pastor—need Jesus. You need spiritual wisdom. You need inspiration from the LORD. Do not neglect Sabbath. Do not forget to soak in God’s Word and stop to listen to his voice.In a season where multiple voices are competing for your attention, all the more reason to intentionally stop and listen for God’s.
  5. Be willing to let go of time wasters.
    As you anticipate a busy season of Christmas activity, both with family and church family, it’s time to be honest with the time wasters in our schedules. It can be difficult to say “no” to opportunities that come along, but be intentional this Christmas to commit to the important “yes”s before you fill your schedule with busyness.Even if it’s not a “waste of time,” it’s ok if you don’t attend every party. It’s ok if you’ve empowered a staff member to fully run a church function. Letting go of responsibility can free up your schedule to stick to the priorities you need to invest in, and it can allow for leadership growth in your team!

Have a Merry Christmas this year! And be intentional with your family as well as your ministry during this holiday season.

This article originally appeared here

Using Artificial Intelligence in the Church

Artificial Intelligence in the church
Adobe Stock #144699843

While several churches our team at Cooke Media Group works with have been using artificial intelligence (A.I.) for quite some time, I’m still getting a significant number of inquiries from other churches and ministries about the ethics, practice, and pitfalls of using AI in a church setting. So I asked Will Chapman, the Online Minister at Cottonwood Creek Church in Allen, Texas, about his experience. Hopefully, it will give you a solid perspective for making the right decision about using artificial intelligence in the church:

Using Artificial Intelligence in the Church

Phil: Tell me a little about your recent experiments with using artificial intelligence in the church.
Will: Our digital ministry staff started experimenting with A.I. sites explicitly built for ministry earlier this year. Two sites we began testing were rever.ai and church.tech. As I jumped into church.tech more, their developers contacted me to join their beta testing program. I’ve enjoyed using both sites and seeing how they can help with ministry content.

Phil: Were you concerned at first about using AI for your church?
Will: Yes. I was concerned about using AI for ministry content because of plagiarism and hermeneutics (Bible interpretation) issues. From the plagiarism standpoint, I was worried about how content from other people, websites, etc., might be brought into the content I wanted to generate from my pastor’s sermon. So, I reached out to a friend of mine who is a professor at Liberty University. He ran the A.I. content I generated through plagiarism software that scans work submitted by students to see if it is original content. The scan returned showing the lowest possible plagiarism and A.I.-generated content scores. This means that the A.I. I used acted like an editorial board at a publishing company, meaning that the A.I. took the content there and rearranged it for the use I needed. This means no additional content was added besides what I provided the A.I. platform.

Secondly, regarding my concerns about hermeneutics, the scan scores confirmed to me that content from other authors or websites wasn’t used that could change the theology of what my pastor preached. I was also impressed that every sermon-based resource the A.I. generated did not mix up words, phrases, or Bible verses that would change how my pastor interpreted the Bible, so I was impressed.

See page two for more insights on using artificial intelligence in the church . . . 

3 Great Advent Ideas for Your Small Group

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Advent season is around the corner. What will you encourage your groups to do, to prepare their hearts to focus on Jesus this season? Advent is also a great time to consider reaching out to your neighbors, friends, and family, sharing with them the real meaning behind Christmas. Below are Advent ideas for your small group:

Advent Ideas for Your Small Group

1. Advent Calendar

Why not create an Advent calendar that will provide both individuals and groups with a simple daily focus. You can be creative in how you do this, and you can also be as specific as connecting it with your Advent Series (if you have one). This is also a great opportunity to reach and engage anyone in your Church family that is not connected in a group, as well as sharing with neighbors, friends and family, and encouraging them to participate! In creating this calendar, you can focus on Scripture verse meditations, and provide simple questions for daily reflection; provide a worship song for the day; encourage a specific prayer and/or suggest an act of service. When you come together as a group, you can discuss each of the week’s “tasks” and have a time of sharing. If any of your neighbors, friends, or family participate — invite them to join you for your group!!!

‘We Forgive Her’—Pastor Says Church Is Praying Weekly for Wynonna Judd’s Daughter Following Alleged Theft of Church Van

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Wynonna Judd is welcomed with warm applause as she arrives on stage for A Christmas Classic tour. Nov. 30, 2007. Craig ONeal, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Grace Pauline Kelley, the 28-year-old daughter of award-winning country music star Wynonna Judd, was arrested for allegedly stealing a church van and is being held at the Albemarle-Charlottesville Regional Jail in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Pastor Kent Hart of Ground Zero Church of the Nazarene, said his church forgives Kelley and that members devoted a whole church service to praying for her. 

“Ultimately, we forgive her on a personal level. I think that this whole situation presents an opportunity for the church to really be the church, the way the church is supposed to be,” Hart told Z95.1 morning show host Sherry Taylor (his aunt) in an interview on Dec. 2.

The alleged theft of the church van, which was totaled, occurred on Oct. 27, but Taylor said she only learned of the incident over the Thanksgiving holiday. 

Noting that Jesus said to love, bless and pray for our enemies, Hart shared that the Sunday after the alleged theft, “We cut the livestream off and we devoted an entire service to Grace Kelley to pray for her and her family and then we prayed for each other. And it was a special service.”

Every Sunday since then, said Hart, the church has prayed for Grace Pauline Kelley’s “recovery, reconciliation, redemption, rehabilitation.”

Grace Pauline Kelley, Wynonna Judd’s Daughter, Remains in Custody 

Wynonna Judd is the daughter of Naomi Judd, alongside whom she rose to fame in the 1980s as a member of the group, The Judds. The country music duo won multiple Grammy Awards, Country Music Awards, and charted numerous singles on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart.

RELATED: ‘Broken’ and ‘Blessed’: Daughters Honor Outspoken Christian Naomi Judd, Dead at 76

Naomi Judd passed away in 2022 after losing a battle against mental illness. Wynonna and her sister, actor Ashley Judd, gave a tribute to their mother one day later as The Judds were inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. 

Wynonna Judd has had an extremely successful solo career, with two of her albums being certified gold and then platinum by the RIAA and a third album being certified five times platinum. Grace Pauline Kelley is the daughter of Judd and her ex-husband, Arch Kelley III, and has reportedly had numerous run-ins with the law.

YouVersion Announces 2024 Verse of the Year, Reflecting Global Trends of Anxiety

YouVersion
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez (via Unsplash)

Since its creation in 2008, the YouVersion Bible App has seen hundreds of millions of people engage with Scripture, conveniently at their fingertips. At the close of another record-breaking year of downloads and app engagement, YouVersion has announced the verse of the year.

“In many cases, our anxiety comes from holding onto worries that we aren’t meant to carry,” said YouVersion founder and CEO Bobby Gruenewald in a press release.

YouVersion Verse of the Year: Philippians 4:6

YouVersion has recorded more than 735 million unique installs around the world—literally. According to its website and in appreciation to its partners, the app offers “3,100 Bible versions in 2,000 languages for free, and without advertising.”

The app uses analytics to offer incredible insights into the lives of millions of users. “The words ‘prayer’ and ‘peace’ were among the top in-app search terms this year, two themes that we also see in the Verse of the Year,” reported YouVersion.

In 2024, one verse has received more engagement than any other verse; people have turned specifically to Philippians 4:6.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” the verse says.

While Gruenewald addressed that people aren’t meant to carry worries, he reflected more deeply on the verse itself, saying, “To me, this verse being sought out the most this year is an illustration that our community is seeking God in prayer and choosing to trust him to carry their burdens—and we’re seeing that supported in the data.”

This announcement follows Isaiah 41:10 being named YouVersion’s verse of the year in 2023. Last year, a remarkable number of people were also searching for peace.

YouVersion is seeing a rise in Bible engagement. Within its family of apps, people around the world can find access to God’s Word. The Bible App offers a robust experience, including reading plans and commentary.

The Bible App Lite includes a similar collection but is optimized for offline use in areas of device or data limitations. The Bible App for Kids is focused on making Scripture applicable and interactive for the younger generation.

RELATED: YouVersion Had ‘Highest Day Ever for Daily Bible Use’ on Easter Sunday

Global Trends About People Seeking and Praying for Peace

The Bible App allows people to share prayer requests with friends in the app, indicate that they have prayed, and engage in guided prayer sessions.

Former Youth Pastor Pleads Guilty to Child Sex Abuse Material Charge, Still Faces More Than 160 Other Sex Abuse Charges

Daniel Kellan Mayfield
Screengrab via Fox Carolina

A former South Carolina youth pastor has pleaded guilty to one charge of possessing child sex abuse material (CSAM). Daniel Kellan Mayfield faces numerous other charges related to voyeurism. 

Editor’s note: This article refers to reports of child sex crimes that some readers might find triggering and/or disturbing.

Mayfield, 36, worked as a youth pastor at Gowensville Baptist Church in South Carolina prior to his initial arrest. Mayfield allegedly recorded girls using the bathroom at the church. The girls were as young as 14 years old. 

He is also accused of secretly recording bridal parties changing their clothes and using the bathroom in his capacity as a contracted wedding photographer and videographer. 

Mayfield was first arrested in May 2023 for alleged voyeurism after a woman claimed that he had filmed her taking a shower. After being personally confronted by the alleged victim and her sister, Mayfield reportedly confessed to Greenville County Sheriff’s deputies before being taken into custody. 

RELATED: Former Youth Pastor Charged With Nearly 150 Sex Crimes Related to Voyeurism

Roughly a week after Mayfield’s original arrest, more charges were filed against him, including five counts of first-degree sexual exploitation of a minor and one count of voyeurism. 

Investigators cleared Gowensville Baptist Church of any wrongdoing, and the church terminated Mayfield’s employment after being made aware of the allegations against him. 

RELATED: Former Youth Pastor Faces 191 Charges of Child Sex Abuse

“On May 27th, 2023, First Baptist Gowensville leadership was made aware of an incident of moral misconduct perpetrated by one of our staff members,” the church said at the time. “Proper authorities were notified immediately, and the employee was terminated from his role.”

Nona Jones: Why Rejection Is a Gift From God

Nona Jones
Image courtesy of Nona Jones

Nona Jones is a preacher, business executive, author, and entrepreneur. She is global ambassador for YouVersion and bestselling author of “Killing Comparison” and “Success From the Inside Out.” Her latest book is “The Gift of Rejection: Harness Your Pain To Propel Your Purpose.”

“The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast” is part of the ChurchLeaders Podcast Network.

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Transcript of Interview With Nona Jones

Nona Jones on The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast.mp3: Audio automatically transcribed by Sonix

Nona Jones on The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Ed Stetzer:
The Setzer Church’s podcast is part of the Church Leaders Podcast Network, which is dedicated to resourcing church leaders in order to help them face the complexities of ministry. Today, the Church Leaders Podcast Network supports pastors and ministry leaders by challenging assumptions, by providing insights and offering practical advice and solutions and steps that will help church leaders navigate the variety of cultures and contexts that we’re serving in. Learn more at Church leaders.com/podcast network.

Voice Over:
Welcome to the Stetzer Church Leaders podcast, conversations with today’s top ministry leaders to help you lead better every day. And now here are your hosts, Ed Stetzer and Daniel Yang.

Daniel Yang:
Welcome to the Setzer Church Leaders Podcast, where we’re helping Christian leaders navigate and lead through the cultural issues of our day. My name is Daniel Yang, national director of Churches of Welcome at World Relief. And today we’re talking with Nona Jones. Nona is a preacher, business executive, author and entrepreneur. She is a global ambassador for YouVersion and the best selling author of Killing Comparison and Success from the Inside Out. Her latest book is The Gift of Rejection Harness Your Pain to Propel Your Purpose. If you enjoy our interviews, make sure you like and follow us on Apple Podcasts. Now let’s go to Ed Stetzer, editor in chief of Outreach Magazine and the Dean of the Talbot School of Theology.

Ed Stetzer:
Dawna, thanks for being back on the podcast. So that’s super fun. You seem to like crank out a brilliant book every year or so. I’m like, I’m like six years between. Oh goodness. Lately.

Nona Jones:
That’s because you’re writing, like, full encyclopedias.

Ed Stetzer:
I need to stop writing articles too. But anyway, um, so the new book is actually, as we already announced, but the new book is The Gift of rejection. Harness your plan to propel your purpose. That’s a lot of peas in that, by the way. Um, all right. So I mean rejection, like no one wants to be rejected. So tell me, what’s been your own experience with that that maybe sparked some of these topics? Yeah.

Nona Jones:
Well, um, let me tell you, first and foremost, I know that the title is quite paradoxical. It is, um, and I will say it’s something that God revealed to me. And I’ll tell you what happened. And this has nothing to do with ministry, but this is just real life. So when I was in high school, um, I met and fell in love with a guy, and he was a great guy. Smart, just, you know, sophisticated, athletic, all the things. And he was actually my first boyfriend. And, um, one summer he had to go away to do an internship with a state senator because he wanted to become a politician eventually. And I remember when he was gone, he reached out to me and he kept saying, hey, when I come back, we’re going to go out. We’re going to do all these fun things. Well. So he finally tells me he’s coming back one weekend and he wants to go to the movies. And I went and got my hair done, got my nails done, got a new outfit. I was so excited. And about an hour before we were supposed to go, he said to me, hey, I can’t go. Family emergency. We’ll have to reschedule. And of course I was bummed, but I reached out to a few friends and I said, hey guys, you want to go to the movies? I’m already dressed, ready to go. And so we went to the movies. Now, the thing to know is, the movie theater that we decided to go to required us to drive past other movie theaters. Okay. But we go to this movie theater.

Nona Jones:
We’re standing in line to buy our tickets, and I happen to look over and I see my boyfriend holding hands with another girl. Oh, my. And as you can imagine, that was incredibly shocking. And I was so hurt by it. And I even had friends who were with me. They were like, oh my gosh, no, no, he’s a jerk, you know? Just don’t don’t pay attention to him. Whatever. So, you know, the days go by, he calls me, he’s trying to apologize. I never take his call and never talk to him again. But fast forward about, I don’t know, 15 years. I’m working at Facebook and a pastor friend of mine reaches out and he says, hey, can you call me? So give them a call. And he says, I need your help. Taking down the Facebook page of one of my spiritual sons, his mentee, and I said, I’ve never had anyone ask me to take their page down. I’ve had people ask to put it back up when it got taken down and he was just like, listen, there are people who are saying really mean things on his page. And I just, I don’t want him to be remembered for the worst thing he ever did. And I was just like, okay. So I said, send me the link and I’ll see what I can do. Right. So I clicked the link and staring back at me is a picture of my ex-boyfriend from high school. Oh, gosh. And I scroll down and I’m reading comments on his page and people are saying things like, serves him right.

Nona Jones:
Um, cheaters get what they deserve. I can’t believe he called himself a man of God. And I go on Google and I search his name and immediately, article after article after article pops up, this guy was murdered by his mistress who also tried to kill his wife. And after his death, a bunch of women came out and said that he had been, you know, with them too. And in that moment, editor I. I thanked God, of course, for the protection that that that he granted me. But I also, of course, felt bad about his wife. And it was in that moment that I heard the Lord say, no, no, you’ve been looking at rejection all wrong. Like all these years you’ve been angry and you’ve been upset because of what he did. But what you didn’t realize is that I was actually protecting you all along. And he said, rejection in my hands is a gift. And it caused me to look back over the arc of my life. Like personally, professionally, romantically, relationally, all the rejections I had experienced. And I realized that in every single circumstance, yes, it was painful. Absolutely. It was painful. But pain was just the wrapping paper because there was a gift on the inside. There were lessons that it taught me about myself, that it taught me about other people, and even about God. That ultimately served my purpose. And so that’s the backstory for where the the message came from is just realizing in every rejection there is something that God can and is doing that works for our good and his glory. Yeah.

Ed Stetzer:
So, I mean, pastors get rejected all the time. Matter of fact, you can get a little bit, like, triggered when the phone. Hey, pastor, I want to meet. I want to talk. Here comes the rejection. Because it doesn’t it tends to. Rejection in pastoral ministry tends to happen in like phases. So you can feel the phases that are sort of going. And so sometimes they’re not sure how to respond. Like they get their guard up. But sometimes it’s as bad as people being fired from churches. Maybe for cause, maybe for without cause. So you and your husband lead. What’s the name of your church? Open door. Church. Open door church. That’s right. Which I was just learning some of the history of it from your husband. So that’s fascinating. So. So how do you navigate that in church leadership when rejection is from people that love Jesus and supposedly love you and you’re still maybe in church together, maybe you’re not anymore?

Nona Jones:
Well, I will say this, um, I think one of the least discussed forms of trauma is the trauma that pastors carry when people walk away. You know, I think when you go into ministry, you go in because you love people. You love the Word of God. You want to see people grow in their faith and grow and mature in the things of God. And so there’s a level of vulnerability as a pastor that you just have to have in order to love people, right? Like, you can’t love someone while also having a hard heart. You cannot love someone while also having walls that separate you from them. So there is vulnerability there. And I do think that we have many pastors that have literally left the vocation because they have been hurt by the people they were called to serve. One of the things that I would say, and this is one of the gifts that I talk about in the book, is that the gift of rejection reveals people’s role in your destiny. And what I mean by that is sometimes we can get so fixated as as pastors and ministry leaders, we get so fixated on the people that we’ve been called to serve, that we become in love with them instead of loving them. Two different things, right? When you’re in love with someone, their decision to abandon you or their decision to, let’s say, fire you, right? They literally leave the church. That’s almost like a form of firing. Um, it can cause you to question your own sense of worth and identity. But what God revealed to me is that there’s actually two types of people in your life. There are those who are attached and those who are assigned. The difference is when a person is attached to you, they’re connected to you for as long as the relationship benefits them.

Nona Jones:
As soon as the relationship begins to head in a direction they don’t want to go in, they will detach. And I think as human beings, when we experience that, it triggers insecurity because we’re like, what did I do, right? What can I do differently to make you stay? Um, but then there are people who are assigned to us, and those are the people who are not in the relationship for what they can get out of it. They’re in the relationship for what they can contribute to it. And I think the mistake that we have, we make as pastors, and I’m guilty of this myself, is that when a member or someone that we’ve been called to serve begins to detach, we’ll shift our energy away from the people who are assigned to us to try to keep that person attached to us. And I’ve done that with people in our church who I just, I worked so hard to make them stay because I took their leaving as an indictment on my worth. But what God was causing me to see in that situation was, wait, there are people connected to you who are for you and they are assigned to you. And so we have to train ourselves as pastors to stay focused on that. And when somebody detaches and they walk away, or they decide that maybe we’re not the pastor that they thought they wanted, that’s not an indictment on our worth. That just means that the role that they were supposed to play in our lives has come to an end. And that is a natural transition, and we have to stop looking at it as something is wrong with me.

Ed Stetzer:
It is. And you mentioned what we often call betrayal trauma. Actually, the next issue of Outreach Magazine, we’ve got this article by Margaret Diddams, an organization industrial psychologist, about betrayal trauma in pastors. And so it’s a thing. It’s a thing. And, you know, even like having categories, I think we name things to help us navigate things. So you’re like, okay, some of these people are assigned to you. Some. But but so but how do you know? Like you don’t really know. And then the rejection comes. And then that gives you some categorization to say, well, maybe, you know, we can move on. I heard one pastor say, you’re pastoring a parade. People come into it. Have you ever been in a parade? People come into the parade. People go out of the parade. But how do you not get jaded in that? Oh, man rejection, I don’t know, rejection makes me jaded.

Nona Jones:
So I’m going to tell you, the way that I look at it is I think about John 13 and how you know, Jesus who knew that he was about to be betrayed, and he knew that he was about to be tortured and crucified, knew this was coming in John 13, the disciples didn’t know. This is like, you know, the Last Supper. They don’t know this. And so what Jesus does in this moment of betrayal, he knows what’s coming. He actually removes his outer garments, wraps a towel around his waist, fills a basin with water, bends down and washes the feet of the person who was about to betray him. And I think what he’s doing in that moment, and we don’t talk about this a lot. We know that Jesus is fully God, right? He’s also fully man. And so, yes, he conquered sin and death, but he also conquered the pain of rejection. And how did he do that? He did that by knowing who he was, regardless of the betrayal. And that’s why I said earlier, I think what can happen is when somebody betrays our trust, it can cause us to turn inward and think, what’s wrong with me? What did I do? Jesus knew he was going to be betrayed. And as pastors, we have to know that it’s going to happen. But we can’t let it change us. We have to still be committed to doing what God has called us to do. And I think that’s the example that Jesus gives us. And then, of course, he goes on to say, I think it’s in verse 3435. You know, I give you a new command, um, that you would love one another as I have loved you. And then he says, by this they will know that you are my disciples by how you love one another. Yes. We will be betrayed. Yes, we will be rejected. We’ll be humiliated. We’ll be cancelled. We’ll be abandoned. All the things. And yet we still have to be who God has called us to be.

Ed Stetzer:
And that keeps coming back to that resilience of just standing with the Lord and what he and who he’s called you to be. Okay, but nobody wants to experience the pain of rejection. Of course we all do. Um, could you like one of the things you talk about is you come to see rejection as a teacher instead of an enemy. What does that look like? Is it always a teacher, or is it sometimes a teacher? And then what does it look like when it is a teacher? It’s such a good question.

Nona Jones:
So yeah, what I have learned in order to deal with the pain of the rejection is you have to be able to shift your posture away from being a victim to being a student. So if you think about it, when somebody does something that’s painful, like, let’s say you give the best years of your life to someone and they abandon you, they leave you for somebody else. Um, that is deeply painful and traumatizing and that can actually end up changing you so that you don’t trust people anymore. Or you can put yourself in the posture of a student and you can begin to consider, okay, what is it that I believed about myself that caused me to stay in a relationship with someone who probably over time, had demonstrated signs that they were not fully committed? Like, what is it about me that caused me to hang on to someone that didn’t think I was worth hanging on to? Those are questions that we have to ask, and then we have to recognize that that person is also teaching us about them, right? Like those are lessons that we can learn about them. Maybe they’re not who we thought they were. Maybe they’re not as trustworthy as we thought they were. But then there’s also lessons we can learn about God. And what is that? Deuteronomy 31 and six God makes a promise I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. And so he tells us, I will never physically nor emotionally separate myself from you. But in in periods of rejection, we get so focused on who walked away that we forget who never left. And so that becomes an opportunity to learn God in a new way, at a texture to our faith, to say, you know what? Lord, you said that you would never leave me nor forsake me. I feel like I have been abandoned and forsaken. I need you to show up in a way that reminds me that you are true to your word.

Ed Stetzer:
Interesting. I do think that, you know, it’s hard for some people to face rejection, and sometimes it can be a teacher because there’s a reason. Sometimes people keep rejecting you. Yeah, it might be something you’re. So how do you like, how do you like look at that. Without then having such a heavy level of introspection that you’re actually, you know, shaming and blaming yourself? Yeah. Like, where’s that line?

Nona Jones:
Yeah, I think so. That’s such an important question. So I think where the shame comes in is when we accept full responsibility for another person’s choice, what we have to realize is that in every situation, we may have only 1% of the responsibility. They may have 99%. But there’s always something that we can learn. And it’s not about owning it and saying, it’s my fault I’m defective. It’s about saying, how can I learn and how can I grow from this? I think that type of a posture is what will help you to defeat shame. And Satan would love nothing more than for us to live under the bondage of shame. But we know that we’ve been called to live in freedom. So I think that it starts with that recognition.

Ed Stetzer:
So starting with that and then avoiding that. So then how does it become okay if people keep rejecting my leadership? Maybe I’m not a good leader. Yes. So how do I use rejection as a teacher in that way?

Nona Jones:
I think you have to look at the frequency, right? It’s like if I am experiencing the exact same repetitive experience over and over again, well, I’m the common denominator. And so at some point I have to recognize that there may be some parts of me that need to change. And I will tell you I’ll give you a personal example. Um, you know, when I was a young executive, I was very ambitious. And, you know, I wanted to be known as a strong leader. And so I had a few situations with team members that left my team. And I think the first couple of times that it happened, I was able to just say, oh, you know, it’s them. You know, they can’t stand the pressure. But after it happened, you know, 3 or 4 times I had to recognize, wait a minute, I’m showing up in a way that is causing people to leave the team. It’s not that they’re incapable. It’s not that they’re incompetent. It’s that something’s going on with me. And so I was able to to pivot, and I was able to learn some new competencies to help me show up in a better way.

Ed Stetzer:
Fascinating. Okay. Um, one of my deep concerns. Remember, my ministry is primarily pastors. Your ministry is, like, cool stuff. You were like the the faith person at at Facebook.

Nona Jones:
The faith person.

Ed Stetzer:
Is that what the term was?

Nona Jones:
The faith person. I was I was the.

Nona Jones:
I called it the Christian in residence.

Nona Jones:
The Christian in residence.

Ed Stetzer:
But you but you had all different, like, you know, all different faith traditions, right? And then I was then you’re like you versions. You do cool stuff. But I love pastors. I know you love pastors, but but but for me, there’s sometimes seems like there’s maybe a whole category of pastors who just lack self-awareness and keep every year burning down these relationships and and they keep blaming the church. And I want to say, no, no, it’s actually you. So I’m trying to figure out, like, how do you say something as it is you and that’s that. So that recurrence is a key theme. And then if there’s continued rejection you want to address what’s causing that. But then 2020 came and and now pastors are being criticized a higher level than before. Huge decline in trust in all leadership. But pastors as well. So how would we navigate it in a in a time of higher rejection? I think more people have left churches and gone to churches now than probably any time in the last few decades. That’s a lot of rejection. And then all of a sudden, new people who just to remind you pastors, they left their old church and rejected their old pastors. So keep that in mind before you get too excited. So how do you do it in this season of elevated criticism and rejection?

Nona Jones:
I think we have to have a.

Nona Jones:
Perpetual stance of humility, you know, and I think, um, you mentioned the pastors who maybe they have a track record of just kind of, you know, bulldozing people. And the culture is very toxic. I think that humility is honestly the answer. And biblically, you know, look, God said he resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. Where we are seeing a lot of pastoral burnout, I would submit, is because there is a decrease of grace. See, grace is the divine ability to accomplish God’s will. I think that whatever God calls you to, he will grace you for. And so if you’re finding yourself frustrated and overwhelmed and exhausted and angry all the time, there comes a point where we have to ask ourselves, I feel like there’s maybe an absence of grace. Well, how do I increase grace through humility? What is humility to you? Humility says, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know everything. And so I’m willing to consider that other people may have a piece of the puzzle that I’m missing. So let me have a conversation. Let me figure out, you know. Hey, so you left. I listen, I am not trying to make you stay. I am not vilifying you at all. I would just love to hear your experience. And what caused you to learn so.

Ed Stetzer:
Much from just asking exit interviews.

Nona Jones:
Ask it right. Just ask the question.

Nona Jones:
But I think what happens is instead we kind of like dig our heels in and say, well, you know, they they weren’t serious about God anyway. No, they actually were. They were. But there were some things that they experienced that caused them to make that decision.

Ed Stetzer:
And you got to get past the offense to actually get to the learning. Oh my gosh. I think one of my faculty, Gary McIntosh at Talbot, wrote a book called Exit Interviews. I think it was Gary. He’s written a zillion books and he actually looked at why people leave. And so I think by doing that and you’re just my guess is at when you were at, at, I want to say YouVersion, but before that, when you were at Facebook, my guess is you had exit interviews when people left. I mean, every business does that and churches don’t. Yeah. And sometimes it can be something we learn from. And sometimes it’s just because they got unhappy and that’s okay. Okay. All right. So again the title of the book is is The Gift of Rejection. Harness your pain to propel your purpose. And you talk about, well, you actually talk about identifying roots of rejection that shape our behavior. Explain a little bit more of that concept.

Nona Jones:
Yeah.

Nona Jones:
So I think the way that we show up in the present is simply a reflection of things that happened to us in the past. Um, and so things like our formative experiences, how our parents interacted with us, you know, how our teachers interacted with us, words that were spoken over us. Um, I think it’s Proverbs 1821 that says life and death are in the power of the tongue. Well, that word power is the Hebrew word yod, which means hand. What does a hand do? Um, it’s a neutral tool, but hands can can create beautiful works of art. They can build houses that that promote safety. But hands can also pull triggers and stab people. Right. And so the tongue becomes an instrument that can either build up or tear down. And some of us have had words spoken over to us, over us in our formative years that have torn us down and we don’t know it. And so what happens today? To go back to the example of the pastor who maybe is bulldozing people, it’s like, well, the reason why you’re doing that is because you don’t even know you have a chip on your shoulder about words that were spoken over you. And so there’s two primary ways that I think rejection pain gets expressed.

Nona Jones:
One rejection pain. Okay.

Nona Jones:
Yeah. One is implosion. So we implode into self harm. Things like addictions, things like literal physical, self harm, depression, anxiety. We internalize a.

Ed Stetzer:
Lot of pastors, a.

Nona Jones:
Lot of pastors are imploding. But then there’s explosion. And that can actually show up in two ways. On the one front, you can explode into anger, right? You can be hostile, you can be irritable, and people can visibly see that. But there’s actually a second expression of exploding that I think gets no visibility. And that is you can explode into ambition. You can become the kind of person who is never satisfied, the kind of person who you have to constantly be the best, the first you have to have the biggest, the most, and at the at the core of that need to have the best and the biggest and be the first. And all that is, is rejection, pain. You know, it’s it’s the sense that I am not enough, and so I have to achieve more to be enough. And so that’s the kind of virtuous expression of rejection, pain that we reward. We look at pastors that have large churches and they’re multi-site and and we celebrate that. And I’m not saying all pastors, you know, have rejection pain at their core for this, but I do know that quite a few do. If you were to sit down and talk to them, there’s a sense of unfulfillment, no matter how much they have, because what’s motivating and driving that is rejection pain.

Ed Stetzer:
I need to bring you to some church planting meetings. You have a lot of church planters. And I was I was, you know, I grew up in a distant father. Et cetera. Et cetera. And I, my father, are very close now. And but but I would tell you that I always had to do more. I had to do better. I had to prove something. I never figured out who I was proving it to. My father was already happy with me, you know, it’s like. And my Heavenly Father had been happy with the whole time. So? So it is real. It is real. And I think and again, this is where I think your book, The Gift of Rejection Harness Your Pain to Propel your Purpose can be a help to pastors and church leaders, which is sort of our audience. One of the things you talk about is what are some of the gifts that rejection has to offer us? I guess you gave us one example already, which was, let me just say, your opening example was a crazy example. Wow. But what are some gifts that rejection offers us?

Nona Jones:
Um, I think.

Nona Jones:
In addition to I shared, the gift of rejection reveals people’s role in your destiny. I think the gift of rejection also anchors your identity. And what I mean by that is. So, you know, we know the story of David and Goliath. And, um, what’s interesting is before David, you know, faced Goliath on the battlefield, um, Jesse sent him to the battlefield to take lunch to his brothers. And while he was out there, he overheard Goliath taunting the Israelites. And he started to ask the men, the soldiers, like, hey, what’s going on? What’s happening? And while he was asking them this, his oldest brother Eliab looks at him and says, why are you here? And and why are you talking to these people? And you know, who did you leave those few sheep with? And and he starts to call him conceited and wicked. He just starts to rail into David. Right? But David looks at him and he’s like, you know, well, what have I done? Why can’t I even speak? And he turns and he keeps doing what he was doing. And it says that after he did that, Saul overheard him and said, hey, come here. And so if David had taken the rejection he was experiencing from Eliab and basically ran home, if he had been afraid of what he was saying or hurt by what he was saying, Saul would have never heard what David was saying, and he would have never said, come here, David, and there would have never been a David and Goliath.

Nona Jones:
And I bring that up because David knew who he was in spite of the things that Eliab said, you know, you’re wicked, you’re conceited, you know, you just have some few sheep. He knew who he was. And so his identity was anchored to the place where he kept doing what he was doing. And so I think there’s a lot of pastors that unfortunately, our identity has become so tethered to people’s approval and opinions as opposed to who God says we are, that when people reject us, we’re ready to quit. We’re ready to walk away from the vocation. But I think we take a page out of David’s life, and we let the rejection anchor our identity to who God says we are. Because when you know who God says you are and what you’ve been called to do, it doesn’t matter if people walk away, if they stay, if they applaud, if they boo, you’re going to keep doing what God’s called you to.

Ed Stetzer:
Once you’re focused on audience of One, it changes everything. But I will tell you, I mean, I know all that, I believe all that, but I’m still a human. I don’t want to live in a space where I’m rejected and and, you know, and you’ve become a public figure. And, you know, I’m a semi-public figure and people reject I see it online and my kids are amused by it. But I think the first time they probably saw, you know, some online criticism, like, what’s going on? Well, you know, this is the world in which we live. So we live in a world where pastors are rejected, people try to cancel. And how do we build up a resilience to walk through that? What does that look like?

Nona Jones:
So I immediately think about the apostle Paul, who in his moment of just kind of vulnerability and honesty was like, look, I begged God to take this thorn away from me. Like I begged God, take it away. And God said to him, my grace is sufficient for you. And I think that’s the recognition is that, yes, we are human. Rejection is going to happen. Yes, it hurts. And we can pray and beg. Lord, please don’t let anybody ever walk away. Don’t let anybody ever leave me. And God is like, it’s going to happen, but my grace is sufficient for you because my strength is made perfect in weakness. Right. And so I think that’s what we have to recognize is, look, it’s going to happen. Accept the reality. It’s going to happen. Now that we’ve gotten through that, we can seek the face of God for his grace to carry us through what will inevitably happen, which is rejection.

Speaker6:
Mm.

Ed Stetzer:
All right. Any final piece of advice for pastors and church leaders? We’ve talked a lot about a lot of stuff. This is a really good conversation. But they’re doing ministry, you know, trying to kind of maybe find that peace and joy, walk in that peace and joy no matter how people treat them or if they’re rejected or just what final exhortation would you give them? Remind everybody the book is the gift of rejection. Harness your pain to propel your purpose. Nona Jones is the author. Final piece of advice?

Nona Jones:
Yeah.

Nona Jones:
So I would say and I want to speak directly to pastors. So in second Timothy chapter four, the Apostle Paul is writing to Timothy, um, and toward the end of that book, he shares with him that, you know, when when it was time for him to stand trial, that everyone deserted him. All the people who were with him left him. And then he says, May it not be held against them. Why? He says, because the Lord stood at my side. And I think we have to remember that. It’s like if we allow bitterness, if we allow resentment to take up residence in our heart, it will literally kill our effectiveness as ministers of the gospel, because we cannot minister to people who are angry at. And I think the enemy would love nothing more than to have us walking around carrying the pain and the resentment of rejection. But I think instead what we have to do is release it. Forgive people for they know not what they do and realize that God is with you. He will protect you and he is going to glorify himself through you.

Ed Stetzer:
Norah Jones, thanks for being with us. Thank you for having me.

Daniel Yang:
We’ve been talking to Nona Jones. Be sure to check out her book, The Gift of Rejection. Harness Your Pain to Propel Your Purpose. You can learn more about Nona at Nona jones.com. And thanks again for listening to this Church Leaders podcast. You can find more interviews, as well as other great content from ministry leaders at Church leaders.com/podcast. And again, if you found our conversation today helpful, I’d love for you to take a few moments, leave us a review and give us a like and a follow that will help other ministry leaders find us and benefit from our content. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you in the next episode.

Voice Over:
You’ve been listening to the Stetzer Church Leaders podcast for more great interviews as well as articles, videos, and free resources, visit our website at Church leaders.com. Thanks for listening.

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Key Questions for Nona Jones

-Would you share from your personal experience of rejection? 

-How should pastors navigate being rejected by the people they are leading? 

-How can church leaders not become jaded by repeated rejection? 

-How can people who are genuinely poor leaders learn from rejection? 

Key Quotes From Nona Jones

“[God] said, ‘Rejection in my hands is a gift.’ And it caused me to look back over the arc of my life, personally, professionally, romantically, relationally, all the rejections I had experienced. And I realized that in every single circumstance, yes, it was painful. Absolutely. It was painful. But pain was just the wrapping paper because there was a gift on the inside.”

“In every rejection, there is something that God can and is doing that works for our good and his glory.”

“I think one of the least discussed forms of trauma is the trauma that pastors carry when people walk away.”

“You can’t love someone while also having a hard heart. You cannot love someone while also having walls that separate you from them. So there is vulnerability there. And I do think that we have many pastors that have literally left the vocation because they have been hurt by the people they were called to serve.”

4 Aspects of Developing Key Leaders

Developing Key Leaders
Adobe Stock #251123829

Churches should be run by teams of volunteers—those committed to work together for the cause of Christ, serving one another and the world, because they have been gifted and called to do so. Yet, this is an ongoing struggle for many churches. Perhaps it is an ongoing struggle for EVERY church. When I was serving my church in Tennessee, I shared with them the kind of things we looked for in our ministry teams. We weren’t perfect, but we were looking for ministry teams that would be in partnership with the staff, would take ownership of areas of ministry, would be part of the fellowship of the church, and would be involved in apprenticeship to raise up new people to serve with them. We were developing key leaders.

4 Aspects of Developing Key Leaders

These four things—partnership, ownership, fellowship and apprenticeship—are key for a church that is serving one another and a hurting world in the name of Christ. As such, let’s explore them one at a time.

1. Partnership

The first step to becoming a part of a ministry team is to exercise partnership.

At the beginning, most volunteers will speak of their ministry as “helping” a staff member—you want them to move beyond that and see their role as leading the ministry as a partner with the staff. They become co-laborers.

For example, at the church plant where I was teaching pastor in Tennessee, we had lay leaders who assisted with finances. They become key ministry leaders by altering their definition and expectation of their ministry. Rather than being a helper to me or the executive pastor, they became a partner with the specific staff member managing a financial area of ministry. It’s their ministry now—we are partners.

This shift in mentality will bolster leaders’ sense of responsibility and encourage forward thinking rather than simply taking orders. Partners in ministry take charge, working together to recruit other partners and to plan and oversee weekly responsibilities.

2. Ownership

The second facet of key leaders is their ability and propensity to take ownership.

When people see themselves in ministry as empowered, they eventually own their ministries. They learn about it so they can do it better (and lead others in that ministry). In order to be most effective, key leaders discuss the vision with staff members, read books about successful practices, attend conferences or training events, or contact ministry workers from other churches who have established similar ministry areas. As a result of their study, key leaders will be equipped to provide confident, informed leadership of their area.

God’s Frailty: A Christmas Parable

Christmas parable
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God comes to us in unexpected ways. Our problem is that we are looking for him according to our expectations. This is one of the lessons of Christmas: God came to a nation which eagerly longed for his coming, prayed for his return, and placed all their hopes in his presence. Most of the nation of Israel missed the hour of his visitation. Is this simply history, or is it a Christmas parable for our day? Is it possible that we could miss God when the Holy Spirit decides to visit us?

God’s Frailty: A Christmas Parable

The people of God known as Israel had looked for a “day of visitation” for at least 500 years before the coming of Jesus. The nation remembered the golden age of King David a thousand years before the days of Herod, the counterfeit king. David was the prototype of God’s chosen vessel, a unifying and conquering King who established Israel in peace, security, and prosperity. After David’s reign many the prophets began to anticipate a day when Yahweh, the God of Israel, would not rule through a representative king. Instead, God would come personally, take his place on earth and establish Jerusalem as the pinnacle of the earth.

7 Ways to Stop Gossip

Gossip
Adobe Stock #471043480

In my job, I hear far more junk than I care to hear sometimes. One part of the drama of messiness that always frustrates me is how gossip begins about other people’s problems. As if dealing with the consequences of sin is not enough, many times the hardest repercussion is the gossip that occurs about the people involved and the situation which occurred. I have been the victim of unfair gossip. I know the pain it can cause. I have never found gossip to be helpful to the people involved or to the Kingdom of God. Gossip has become something I hate, because I have seen it destroy so many people! We must — and we can — stop gossip.

Gossip hurts innocent people who are caught in the middle, it exaggerates the situation, and it keeps the one who did wrong loaded with guilt and frustration, and from experiencing the fullness of God’s grace.

(Consider these passages: Proverbs 11:13, Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 20:19, Proverbs 26:20, Romans 1:29, 2 Corinthians 12:20, 1 Timothy 5:13—the Bible talks a great deal about this issue.)

With this in mind, I’m listing seven suggestions for stopping, or at least slowing, the spread of gossip.

Will you consider each and internalize them—as needed?

If the shoe fits, will you wear it?

Together, perhaps we can help stop the deadly spread of this harmful virus!

7 Ways to Stop Gossip

Don’t repeat something unless you know it to be true firsthand.

Secondhand knowledge is not enough to justify repeating something. You will get something wrong and it will hurt others. By the way, reading it on Facebook does not make it true.

Don’t repeat unless it is helpful to do so, you have a vested interest and permission.

Never share another person’s story unless you have permission to share or what you’re sharing is equally your story as the other person’s. It is almost always gossip if anything is shared otherwise.

Don’t “confess” other people’s sins.

Unless you are in physical danger—even if the wrong included you and you feel the need to confess—share your story, but not someone else’s. Doing so in the name of a prayer request is not a good excuse.

Preschool Nativity Crafts: 25 Christmas Ideas for Little Ones

preschool nativity crafts
Screengrab YouTube @Triple C Creations Crafting

Preschool nativity crafts should be easy yet have a wow factor. Teachers and parents are busy during the holiday season. Plus, we all want to keep Jesus at the center of Christmas. That’s why we looked specifically for nativity crafts, not just anything Christmas-related.

Here are some of the best preschool nativity crafts we found. Enjoy using these Christmas activities with preschoolers in your church and Sunday school!

25 Preschool Nativity Crafts for Children’s Ministry

1. Craft-Stick Nativity

First here’s a great step-by-step nativity Christmas craft for preschoolers.


nativity crafts

2. Clay Nativity

Families will treasure this Modern Clay Nativity for years to come. Check out this homemade clay recipe at churchleaders.com.

modern clay nativity craft

3. Story Stones

These DIY Nativity Story Stones are a great way for young children to develop storytelling language. Plus, they’ll be able to understand all parts of the Christmas story.

Story Stones Nativity Craft

 

4. Nativity Finger Puppets

Kids will love playing with this Finger Puppet Nativity set. Check out the free printable to make an entire set.

wise men nativity finger puppets nativity crafts

5. Fingerprint Craft for Preschoolers

Who doesn’t love making a Fingerprint Nativity Craft?!

fingerprint nativity craft

10 New Christmas Albums Bringing You the Joy of the Season in 2024

christmas albums
L: CeCe Winans. Screengrab from YouTube / @CeCeWinansOfficial. C: Phil Wickham. Screengrab from YouTube / @philwickham. R: Matt Redman. Screengrab from YouTube / @MattRedmanOfficial

Whatever is going on in the world at large or in our personal lives, it’s likely we could all use—not just holiday cheer—but a reminder of the eternal hope we celebrate this time of year.

This season, multiple Christian artists have released Christmas albums filled with traditional Christmas carols commemorating the birth of our Savior, as well as festive originals and classic Christmas songs.

“Just another little attempt to sing the grandest of all mysteries that could never really be contained in a song – the Uncreated One born among us, living,” said Grammy Award-winning artist Matt Redman of his original song, “When We Behold (In Excelsis).”

New Christmas Albums in 2024 

1. Matt Redman, ‘In Excelsis’ 

Matt Redman, known for songs such as “10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord),” released the three-song Christmas EP “In Excelsis” on Nov. 15. The EP contains two originals and Redman’s version of “Silent Night.” 

Redman released the single, “God the Son,” in October, posting on social media, “The reserved Brit in me is a bit embarrassed announcing the release of a new Christmas song in mid-October, ha… but here it is…As a worship leader I’m often saying, ‘the incarnation isn’t just for Christmas’ – it’s way too big and important of a theme to just sing only one season of the year.”

Amy Grant, Vince Gill Reflect on Music, Christmas Traditions, and Nearly 25 Years of Marriage

Amy Grant
Vince Gill and Amy Grant. Screengrab from YouTube / @EntertainmentTonight

As their 14th annual “Christmas at the Ryman” residency kicked off, musicians Amy Grant and Vince Gill spoke to “Entertainment Tonight” (ET) about performing together, celebrating the holidays, and being married for almost 25 years.

This year, the couple is performing a dozen holiday concerts at Nashville’s historic Ryman Auditorium. Grant, 64, and Gill, 67, also have a new album—“When I Think of Christmas”—inspired by their residency.

In an interview with ET’s Rachel Smith, the pair reflected on their musical pursuits and on how their relationship stays strong.

Amy Grant & Vince Gill on Doing Life Together

Grant and Gill said their first joint Christmas album was spurred by memories of performing holiday shows—something neither one expected to be such a career highlight. The couple wanted to create “something that was shareable,” Grant said, adding that the new album “really captures the beauty of a moment together.”

RELATED: Amy Grant Releases Long-Awaited ‘Lead Me On Live 1989,’ Including Unreleased Tour Footage

When asked why his wife shines so brightly at Christmas, Gill said, “She started her career writing songs about faith and had an amazing mark on the world doing that.”

“And it’s just a continuation of the same thing,” he explained. “She’s had as much impact with Christmas music as she had on [Christian music]. And then on top of that, she had a bunch of pop hits, and she’s pretty remarkable.”

About their marriage—a second for both—Gill joked that the secret is frequent travel. He’s been touring with the Eagles since 2017, and Grant said she loves “returning to him” after time away. “One thing we give each other is a lot of freedom,” she added. “And part of that’s marrying when we did. We kinda already had our rhythms there.”

After blending their families when they married in 2000, the couple had one child together.

Grant, who suffered a traumatic brain injury and memory problems following a 2022 bicycle accident, said, “I’m grateful to be right here, right now. And [recovery] took the full two years.” From that experience, the singer said she learned, “Wherever you are in life, you’re right on time, and just trust it.”

Christmas Reflections From Amy Grant and Vince Gill

For their holiday traditions, Grant said she enjoys gathering to make gingerbread houses and doing “goofy little crafting things like that.” She added, “People are not that different. It’s the simple stuff that everybody can participate in that’s the most meaningful.”

Gill joked about being scared during the fake snowball fights his wife instigates at their Ryman shows. “All I can see are these dudes out there, when they’re wanting to pelt me with the snowballs ’cause they’re mad that I snagged the pretty girl,” he said.

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