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Why You Need to Walk Slowly Through the Pews

By
Greg Atkinson
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I was 18 years old and serving my first church. A little church out in the country. My uncle (a veteran minister) was coming to visit and I eagerly awaited his feedback. I was a worship pastor back then and my uncle had been a worship pastor since the ’70s. His words to me? “Walk slowly through the pews.”

I didn’t understand. I had sung well and led the choir and worship without messing up. I had smiled and sweated and given my all. However, my uncle noticed me rushing through the crowd—always busy and heading somewhere to do something. Flying by the people that were gathering to worship. It’s been over 20 years and I still remember that advice.

I try to walk slowly through my church. I try to make eye contact and shake hands and give out hugs. I go out of my way to be accessible and approachable. This has defined me as a pastor. I seek to put people first and realize it’s all about them. This is a chapter in my first book Church Leadership Essentials.

This is why I’m passionate about hospitality. It’s all about people. Always has been. Always will be people. Ministry is about people.

In the last year, I’ve worked with churches where I saw staff members hurrying around past people. One was a frantic children’s minister. The other was a worship leader with other things on his mind.

Take time to notice people, talk to people and build relationships. Lead Pastors: This goes for you, too. They don’t want to just hear your message, they want to meet you. I cover this in the next to last chapter of my book Secrets of a Secret Shopper.

How is walking slowly through the pews possible? Preparation. Don’t wait until the last minute to get things done. Be prepared and ready for your duties so that you can relax, worship and enjoy fellowship with God’s people.

So, my two cents to you, my friends: Walk slowly through the halls of church and in the auditorium. Smile. Shake hands. Give hugs. Let your people know you love them.

This article originally appeared here.

7 Signs You’re Having an Emotional Affair

By
Dave Willis
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I recently received an email from a woman who was having an emotional affair.

The sad-but-familiar story began by describing a “friendship” she had developed with a man at work and it had progressed into something much more. The relationship hadn’t yet crossed into physical/sexual contact, but they were flirting with the idea and getting closer to those forbidden lines with each passing day.

She now found herself in a confusing web of mixed feelings, and she knew this new relationship now threatened to sabotage her marriage. She was frustrated to find herself in a position she never thought she’d be in. She’d been deceiving her husband and mentally planning out a new life with this other man.

She was asking herself, “How did I let it go this far?”

Even though she never crossed the line sexually, her situation is messy and will undoubtedly cause pain, but healing is possible. Still, these situations are much easier to prevent than they are to heal after the fact. That’s why I often advise couples to be VERY careful about having close friends of the opposite sex, because most affairs start out as “friendships” that cross the line.

If you think that you (or your spouse) have let a friendship go to far, here are seven simple ways to tell if you’re having some level of an emotional affair. If you can see yourself in any of these, take immediate action to create healthy boundaries and restore healing and trust in your marriage.

1. You’re having conversations you wouldn’t want your spouse to see.

If you’re ever in a position where you think, “I’m glad my husband/wife isn’t seeing this,” then you’re already out of bounds and you’re playing with fire. A healthy marriage requires complete trust and transparency.

2. You’re dressing to impress a specific individual other than your spouse.

When we’re trying to be visually attractive for an individual other than our spouse, we’re opening a very dangerous door. Wanting to be professional and look your best is one thing, but wanting to look your best for one specific person is something else entirely.

3. You try to create opportunities to be alone with someone other than your spouse.

If you’re going out of your way to “run into” someone so you can have one-on-one conversations, that’s a huge red flag. You need to put immediate distance between yourself and him/her.

4. You delete text messages or emails from someone, because you don’t want your spouse to see them.

If you’re ever hiding messages, texts or calls, then you’ve crossed an obvious line and you’re having an emotional affair.

Pastor Is the Only One Willing to Save Dying Man—He Asked Himself This Question First

By
Stephanie Martin
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

An unexpected phone call led pastor Matt Van Peursem on a three-day journey to save someone he’s never met. Van Peursem, the lead pastor of Catalyst Church in Woodland, California, traveled to Idaho this week after discovering he was a perfect match for a man in dire need of bone marrow.

Three years ago, Van Peursem signed up with the National Bone Marrow Registry (BetheMatch.org) hoping to help a friend with a rare blood disorder. Although he wasn’t a match in that case, his information was kept on file.

Then on September 26, Van Peursem was surprised to learn he was one of four perfect matches for a 60-year-old Boise man with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. After answering questions, the pastor was told the next day he was the only match willing to proceed.

Donating marrow is usually a three- to six-month process, but this patient’s condition required quicker action, doctors said. So Van Peursem spent the past three weeks enduring blood tests, interviews, a physical and daily injections. The actual donation process on October 17 involves being strapped to medical equipment for up to eight hours.

“What does love require?” In This Case, a Bone Marrow Donation

Despite the pain, disruption to his schedule and time away from family, the pastor and father of three says donating is worth it. “For me personally—not just as a pastor but as a person—I try to live by the idea of asking myself, ‘What does love require?’” says Van Peursem. “And in this situation, it means to give of my time and of myself for someone else.”

He added, “If more people did that, we’d live in a better world.”

Van Peursem calls his generosity a “simple act” that “goes a long way” and says his ordeal is nothing compared to the cancer patient’s. He’d like to meet the recipient of his marrow, he says, but that wouldn’t occur for at least a year.

The pastor of 15 years, who’s also a police chaplain, says he knew he was still on the registry but didn’t expect to be contacted. “The idea that it could be anyone out there is kind of strange, but it’s a neat thing,” he says of the match. “When you have the opportunity to save someone’s life, you can’t pass that up.”

“Give up yourself to someone else”

Van Peursem hopes others will join the registry and that his friend finds a donor. For patients needing a transplant, only 30 percent find matching marrow from a relative. An estimated 3,000 people die annually because a compatible donor can’t be located.

Kirsten Van Peursem, Matt’s wife, is amazed by what her husband gets to do—and admits she wanted to get the call to donate. The donation has led to “great conversation” with the couple’s three sons about “how to love and serve other people,” says Matt Van Peursem. “It’s neat to be able to give up yourself to someone else. That’s a big part of what I do as a pastor and try to promote.”

Would Your Congregation Pass This Homeless Pastor Test?

By
Megan Briggs
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

A megachurch pastor in Chicago put his congregation through a test of sorts. The pastor dressed as a homeless person and “camped” outside of a couple of his church’s campuses. His congregants’ response to him brought tears to the pastor’s eyes.

“I wanted to see how we’re doing—you know—when it’s hardest to love,” Pastor James MacDonald told his congregation after he walked on to the stage, shopping cart in tow, and peeled off his homeless person costume.

MacDonald then preached a message on loving people who are not your favorite, when “there’s nothing in it for you.” “The closer the person is to us and the less-common the struggle, the easier it is to love,” MacDonald said to his congregation. “God forbid I find out my wife has three months to live. I’d quit my job, I’d sell everything…right? What if it’s just an acquaintance of yours and what if the problem’s recurring?”

 

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I dressed up as a homeless man and sat outside our church. What I witnessed blew me away… (link in profile to see what happened)

A post shared by James MacDonald • Jer 18:4 (@pastorjamesmacdonald) on

The Homeless Pastor Test

So how did MacDonald’s congregation do at loving the “least of these”?

MacDonald says, “I was crying inside that beard. I cannot believe the people in this church. The number of people that prayed with me and brought me food…” The congregation was then shown a video of footage he was able to capture during his experiment camping outside the church. In the video, people are seen bringing him food, giving him money, praying for him and asking how they might help him. Some, however, apparently don’t know how to respond, hesitating as they walk by on their way in the church.

MacDonald is the founder and senior pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel, which has seven campuses spread across the Chicago metro area and serves about 13,000 people each week.

This Is Not the First Time the Homeless Pastor Test Has Been Used

A similar object lesson has been performed before, in 2013 in Clarksville, Tennessee. Before preaching for the first time to his newly-assigned congregation of Sango United Methodist Church, Rev. Willie Lyle was awoken from a dream in which he believes God told him to live on the streets as a homeless person for a time. Lyle spent almost five days living on the streets of Clarksville in order to understand what it’s like to live with nothing. With the exception of a few groups reaching out to the homeless (some church and some non-church affiliated), “generally speaking, people are not kind to the homeless,” Lyle said after his experience.

Lyle surprised his congregation on his first Sunday preaching to them by lying on the lawn of the church covered by a big overcoat. He left his hair unkempt and his face scruffy from his experience the week before on the streets. Lyle wanted to see how many people of the 200-member congregation would approach him on the lawn. In all, about 20 people approached him and asked how they could help.

As he preached that Sunday, his daughter-in-law cut his hair and his daughter helped shave off his scruffy beard. He peeled off his “homeless” clothes, revealing his “Sunday” clothes beneath, and donned a tie and suit jacket. “Our goal should be to improve and change the lives of people as we live like Jesus,” Lyle told USA Today. “You see, we look at the outside of others and make judgments. God looks inside at our heart and sees the truth.”

We should note that a video claiming a pastor named Jeremiah Steepek did something similar to the congregation he was stepping into pastor has not been verified as a legitimate account. More on that can be found here.

The Test Forces Us to Take a Look at How We’re Doing

The question is a good one for churches to ask themselves: How would our church respond to a homeless person camping outside the doors? Perhaps your church experiences this regularly. How we answer this question could mean the difference between serving Jesus and ignoring him. As Scripture tells us, we serve Jesus when we serve the “least of these” (See Matthew 25: 31-46).

Watch the video of Pastor MacDonald and his congregation below:

Carey Nieuwhof: How to Overcome the Cynicism That Saps Leaders of Strength

By
Jason Daye
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer and founding pastor of Connexus Church in Ontario, Canada. In addition to being a pastor, Carey is the author of numerous books and articles focused on the topic of leadership. His latest book is Didn’t See It Coming. Carey and his wife, Toni, have two grown sons and live just north of Toronto, Canada. 

 

Key Questions for Carey Nieuwhof:

– Why are so many of us in ministry cynical?

– How does cynicism impact our relationship with God?

– How is cynicism a decision we make for ourselves?

[SUBSCRIBE] For more ChurchLeaders podcasts click here!

Key Quotes from Carey Nieuwhof:

“Cynicism is subtle, but it’s identifiable because it means, ultimately, the loss of hope.”

“One of the trademarks of cynicism is you take your past failures and your past hurts and you start projecting them onto the future.”

“Your past hurt starts to pronounce a death sentence on your future.”

“Most cynics are former optimists.”

“You find leaders who want to care, but have stopped.”

“When I close my heart to people, I close my heart to God.”

“Love actually requires an engagement of the heart, an engagement of the mind, an engagement of the will, and that is something that cynical people won’t do.”

“I think it is a male thing to want to be isolated and think that you’re a rock.”

“I realized that if I was going to build new friendships, I would have to put my heart into them.”

“Cynicism has its source in knowledge.”

“There is a group of people I want to be a part of by the grace of God. These people see life for what it really is, but keep their heart fully engaged.”

“Curiosity really fuels optimism–the cynic knows.”
“Ask more questions than you give answers….Rather than solving somebody’s problem for them, just ask them questions. Don’t try to be the smartest person in the room.”

 

Links Mentioned by Carey Nieuwhof in the Show:

Cynicism and burn out tests: didntseeitcomingbook.com

Careynieuwhof.com

CNieuwhof on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram

 

Carey Nieuwhof on ChurchLeaders:

7 Signs the Pharisees Are Running Your Church

8 Reasons Why Most Churches Don’t Break the 200 Attendance Mark

Some Advice on Same-Sex Marriage for U.S. Church Leaders From a Canadian

S-T-R-E-T-C-H Your Ministry Dollars

By
Kathie Philips
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

People all across America waited in long lines this past Thursday and Friday to snatch up good deals for Black Friday. And today, Cyber Monday is in full effect. The bottom line is that we are looking for great deals to stretch our ministry dollars a little further.

This is nothing new for those of us in Children’s Ministry. It really doesn’t matter how big or small our churches are…Children’s Ministry leaders want to get the most bang for our limited bucks.

Here are a few tips for stretching your ministry dollars in three of the biggest expense areas: curriculum, snacks and crafts.

Curriculum

  • Order enough materials for children who attend 75 percent of the time, plus two or three more.
  • Better yet, consider switching over to digital curriculum. While you will spend time printing and purchasing paper, this will help reduce overall costs for take home pages and in-class activity sheets.
  • Search for free lessons online. Check out Ministry-to-Children to get started.
  • Invest in reproducible books.

Snacks

  • Have your congregation or parents donate frequently used items, such as napkins/paper towels, cups, crackers and O-shaped cereal.
  • Serve water instead of juice.
  • Buy in bulk from a membership warehouse.
  • Find people who love to bake and ask them to bake cupcakes, cookies, brownies, etc.
  • Purchase generic brand snacks.

Crafts/Craft Supplies

  • Shop end-of-season and post-holiday sales for seasonal items.
  • Alert your church of needed items and allow them the privilege of donating.
  • Shop early enough to avoid rushed or overnight shipping costs.
  • Buy crayons, glue sticks and scissors before the school year starts (when school supplies are dirt cheap).
  • Again, reproducible craft books are a good investment.

General Money-Saving Tips

  • Use email, your website and social media for publicity.
  • Swap items with another church.
  • Save money on DVDs by borrowing them from your local library.
  • Ask professionals in your church to teach their specialty to your children, parents and volunteers.
  • Maintain your resources. For example, keep caps on craft supplies and properly wrap food.
  • Print your own brochures, handbooks, business cards, flyers, etc.
  • Make black and white copies instead of color.
  • Use white paper instead of colored.
  • When photocopying, use both sides of the paper if you can.
  • Consider using 1/2 sheets of paper to get your message out. That way, you get two-for-one sheets of paper!

How do you stretch your ministry dollars? Share your ideas below!

This article originally appeared here.

Is This the Most Stressed Out Generation in History?

By
Jeremy Zach
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

When working with students, have you ever seen that tired, exhausted, stressed-out look on their faces?

For example: A few weeks ago I was speaking to a group of high school students and I couldn’t help but notice that stressed-out look on some of their faces. Now, they could have been extremely bored with my talk, which was probably the case! But I just couldn’t avoid the fact of how tired, exhuasted and stressed they seemed.

So I started to research a bit to see what the experts had to say about the stress levels of today’s teens:

David Elkind, the author of The Hurried Child, says:

“Today’s kid has become the unwilling, unintended victim of overwhelming stress—the stress borne of rapid, bewildering social change and constantly rising expectation.”

According to the American Psychological Association, today’s students are the most stressed out generation.

The Huffington Post recently wrote an article titled: “American Teens Are Even More Stressed Than Adults.” The author, Carolyn Gregoire, suggested that teens have very poor sleep, exercise and technology habits (the average teen consumes an average of 7.5 hours of media per day), which may be linked to their high stress level. These poor habits factor into a lot of things, such as part-time jobs, early-morning classes, homework, extracurricular activities, social demands, and use of computers and other electronic gadgets.

The USA today reported that “more than a quarter (27 percent) of teenagers say they experience ‘extreme stress’ during the school year, versus 13 percent in the summer. And 34 percent expect stress to increase in the coming year. Stressors range from school to friends, work and family. And teens aren’t always using healthy methods to cope.” Hannah Sturgill, 18, of Portsmouth, Ohio, was among those surveyed and she commented:

“The last two years in high school have been the most stressful for me and my friends. We have to do everything and be perfect for colleges and we have a big workload. Most of the time we talk about how stressed we are.”

Chap Clark in Hurt 2.0 found “that mid-adolescents are about as busy as humanly possible. They average five-to-six hours of sleep a night. The busyness they embrace keeps them from having to reflect on their dreams, their relationships and their lives.”

Clearly today’s teens are crazy stressed and busy.

My fear is that youth ministries will over-program the already over-stressed-out teen.  

I would hate for youth ministries to make even more demands for today’s teen by expecting (or guilting) them to show up to more church events—which will make them even more stressed. I talk to a lot of youth pastors who are bummed that students don’t show up to their programs and they get upset at students for not making church a number one priority.

Can we really blame the already stressed-out student for not coming to church?

The reality is: Students would make church a number one priority, but they cannot.

They are too busy and stressed and even feel more overwhelmed by the many programs available and offered by their local student ministry.

So how do we help the stressed out teen?

Here are three simple ways youth pastors can help:

(1) Create a space in your student ministry environment that requires the student to be still and silent. Students have a lot of noise in their lives. It is important for them to sit, think and reflect in silence. Silence provides a place for students to hear God without all the noise. Teach students how to be still before God instead of being too busy for God.

(2) Make families aware of students’ stress and find ways to help. More than likely if the student is stressed, parents are stressed too. The CEO of the American Psychological Association said: “Parents and other adults can play a critical role in helping teens get a handle on stress by modeling healthy stress management behaviors. When spending time with teens, we (parents and other adults) can encourage them to exercise, eat well, get the sleep they need and seek support from health care professionals like psychologists to help them develop healthier coping mechanisms for stress sooner rather than later.” Here’s a great CNN article that speaks to how parents can help students navigate stress.

(3) Simplify youth ministry programmatic structure. That’s right: Cut programs. Do one student ministry program a week. Simplify your student ministry calendar to one environment a week, two camps per year and one mission trip each year. Less is more. The most successful student ministries in the country have a very simple student ministry calendar. Simplicity is all about focus. Focus is the key to achieving excellence and making an impact.

5 Trends in Team Leadership No Leader Can Ignore in 2018

By
Carey Nieuwhof
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

This isn’t 1998 or even 2008, but too many leaders lead like it is.

And as a result, they can’t figure out why their team isn’t motivated, why they have a high turnover and why younger leaders don’t really want to work for them…or are always looking for a better opportunity.

Things have changed significantly in the workplace over the last decade or two, and too many bosses and organizations are still leading using old methods.

Here are five trends in team leadership every leader should be aware of because, well, things are changing, fast.

1. YOUR TITLE MEANS…NOTHING

If you check the business section of newspapers in major cities (there are still newspapers, and increasingly, that’s a good thing), you’ll still see announcements that so and so became Executive Vice President of marketing at XCo, or that someone became Regional Director of Sales at YCo.

In a church context, you got an email letting you know that a seminary colleague became district supervisor or president of a seminary.

Guess what? Nobody cares.

Not anymore.

Authority used to rest in a position. Now it rests in a person.

Think about it. When you were in school, there were teachers you loved and teachers you loathed. The position of ‘teacher’ or even ‘department head’ meant nothing to you. You just wanted a good teacher.

Influence has nothing to do with position, and everything to do with the person.

The two factors that most powerfully impact your influence at work these days are your personal integrity and strategic excellence.

You can have an incredible strategy and be leading a rapidly growing organization, but if you’re a jerk, your team’s not sticking around for long.

Conversely, you can have exceptional character and incredible integrity, but if you don’t bring strategic excellence that generates results to your work, you won’t have a high performing team, you’ll just have friends who love and respect you (as a person).

Influencing people is about who you are and what you help them accomplish, not about the position you hold.

2. PEOPLE DON’T REALLY WANT TO WORK FOR YOU. THEY WANT TO WORK ON THE MISSION.

One of the first characteristics of Millennials as they entered the workforce over a decade ago was that they were extremely cause-driven. They didn’t want to work to pad the bottom line or stuff the pockets of an owner or make a leader look good—they wanted to make a difference.

You know the stereotype: Millennials want to change the world and believe they can do it.

That’s laudable, and it has spread beyond just Millennials to be the thing most people are seeking.

Again, before you roll your eyes, remember (older leaders), you raised them to have values like these. And some of them are doing it. So cut the cynicism. (Wondering how cynical you are? Take this quiz.)

What this means though is that your mission is more important than ever.

Leaders who want to preserve the institution, pad the bottom line or simply grow the organization will always struggle to attract and keep young leaders.

For the church, this should be easy. If you’re truly mission-driven (you want to reach people or impact your community), your ethos has an instant appeal to younger adults. Just keep the mission central.

If you’re in business, profit won’t be nearly the motivator that cause is. If you don’t know what your cause is, figure it out.

The best way to attract and keep young leaders is to work with them to accomplish a greater purpose.

At Connexus Church, our rallying cry is to create a church unchurched people love to attend and lead people into a growing relationship.

In my own company where my team works on this blog, podcast, my speaking and writing, the mission is to help people thrive in life and leadership.

Leaders, if the mission isn’t bigger than you, you need a new mission.

What Changes With a Move From a Church of 50 to a Church of 150

By
Sam Rainer
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

All churches have leadership challenges, regardless of size. Small churches are not easier to lead than large churches. Large churches are not easier to grow than small churches. But they are different. When pastors move from one size church to another, they have to adapt.

One common pastoral transition is to move from a church of 50 congregants to a church of 150. I won’t get into whether a pastor should make this move or not. Let’s assume the move is God’s will. What changes should this pastor expect? The question recently came through Church Answers Central, a forum I help administrate, and I thought it made for a good post.

Some expectations remain the same. I’ll start the list with something that doesn’t change, but I’ve added it here because it’s a surprise to many pastors who make the transition from 50 to 150. Many people still want you at birthday parties, at ballgames and in hospital rooms. You have to learn how to say “no” graciously to more people.

Formalities and structure increase. In a church of 150, there are more formalities. Business meetings and Robert’s Rules of Order become more commonplace. There is also more structure, likely more committees and official groups.

Less individual attention. The larger the church, the less individual attention a pastor can give to people. Leadership approaches shift from one-on-one in small churches to groups of people in larger churches. Many pastors who make the transition become frustrated for a season because they cannot meet the needs of everyone. The key here is to equip other leaders and invest in them, training them to multiply themselves.

Fewer family-run churches. At 150 people, it’s tough for one family to run the church, but two or three families can form coalitions and wield power.

Operational tasks decrease. When I pastored a church of 30 people, I changed all the light bulbs and prepared the financials (which meant balancing the checkbook). In a church of 150, these tasks shift to volunteers.

Directives shift. In a church of 150, pastors give more directives to teams and committees as opposed to individuals.

Micromanagement in a church of 150 will kill you. Don’t even try.

Diplomacy and statesmanship start to enter into pastoral leadership at a church of 150 (and becomes quite important around 500 people).

When you make the transition from 50 to 150, a few things do stay the same: People still sin. Bullies still attack. Leaders will disappoint. Stress is still intense. But the Groom still loves His bride!

This article originally appeared here.

Self-Leadership Without Self-Absorption

By
Rusty George
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

The last few years have been a journey for me in understanding who I am and the type of leader I can be. In doing so, I’ve learned some valuable lessons in how to walk the tightrope between self-leadership and self-absorption. I wrote about falling off to one side in 3 Dangers of Self-improvement. As Jesus said, those of us who seek to find ourselves, run the danger of losing ourselves. So, how do we improve our self without becoming consumed by our self?

1. Seek to understand yourself so you can better serve others.

Knowing your Myers-Briggs type or your Enneagram number can help you understand your leadership styles and temperament, but if it’s just used for your benefit, then you will lean toward the side of expecting everyone else to acquiesce to your style. For years I thought, hey, I’m an introvert…so leave me alone and don’t ask so many questions. But the secret to avoiding this is to use your knowledge for their good. If our goal is to love others as Jesus did, then we learn about ourselves so we can love others better. Learning of my introversion reminds me to schedule time away so I can be my best around others. Rather than expecting them to leave me alone, I just find time to leave so I can return fully charged.

2. Journaling is more than keeping a diary.

For many of us, we wince at the word “journaling” because we think it’s just a diary of the day’s events. But I credit Michael Hyatt for helping me understand the value of capturing leadership learnings over just tasks completed. His Full Focus Journal comes with a great template to help organize your journaling by giving you probing questions. I find that during this time—10 minutes tops—I am able to boil the previous day down into some great leadership learnings that have very little to do with my successes, but rather my learnings from my mistakes. When I do this, I am less likely to repeat them.

3. Pray for others.

Yep, I’m a pastor, so you expected me to say something like that. But the truth is when my prayer list is a to-do list for God in order for my life to be better, all I focus on is me. Self-leadership is about serving others. And one of the best ways I can use my self to serve others is to go to God on their behalf. Now, that being said, it can be easy for me to settle into just talking to God about what I wish that other person would do to make my life easier. So try some prayers like, “God, give them a great day.” “God, I know they are sending a kid off to college, I pray you ease the tension and sadness.” Or even, “God, help me understand how to serve them better.” A great app that takes your contacts and gives you three names to pray for each day is Ceaseless.

I’m sure there are many more things that can help, so, what have you learned?

I know in my life, I can easily study MY personality preferences, I can write down MY to-do lists for me and others, and I can pray for MY success…or I can shift the attention and benefit to others. In the end, the latter always gets me closer to being like Jesus and way more fulfilled.

This article originally appeared here.

Recording Your Own Worship Album? 10 Reasons to Get a Producer

By
Caleb Neff
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

So your church is thinking about recording your own worship album. Great. But before you take one more step, let me say this clearly: hire a producer.

There’s a lot of confusion about what a producer does. Maybe when you hear of a producer, you think of the slick corporate guy from the latest rock doc you’ve seen or, more likely, you think of the legendary Bruce Dickinson demanding more cowbell. In reality, a producer is a skilled professional in your corner who helps your artistic vision become reality. There is a huge difference between what a producer brings to the table and what you may get if you simply rent out some studio time and take a swing at creating something. Here are ten things a producer will do for you that you won’t get if you record in a studio without one.

1.)   Perfecting your song. Music isn’t always objective. Songs are meant to be improved and perfected. It takes a collaborative effort, as well as talent, skill, and even industry knowledge to move a song from good to great. Take, for example, “Yesterday,” which was originally titled “Scrambled Eggs,” until someone — thank the good Lord — stepped in to improve it. If your song is seven minutes long and you want it on the radio, some editing might be necessary. With the help of a skilled producer, even well constructed songs can be pushed to near-perfection.

2.)   Pre-production. With the help of a producer, you’ll be able to hear your song in a new way. Are the kick and bass parts conflicting during that second verse? Do we need to consider a key change when the singer is struggling to reach some of the notes? Is that damn cowbell still not loud enough? A producer will be able to give you priceless insight into the inner workings of your song so you can make decisions before you’re paying for studio time and the pressure of a limited budget leads to bad decisions like “oh well, we don’t have time to redo it, we will just fix it in the mix.”

3.)   Finding/hiring of musicians. As a worship leader/songwriter, you may need help filling out a band of top players to finish out your instrumentation. Instead of grabbing a few random friends of mixed talent levels, a producer can find the right people who are genuinely equipped to play in your genre. These musicians will get recordings done faster (which saves you money in the studio) and your song will sound astronomically better. Even if you have a band, you may realize cello/didgeridoo/cowbell would be really cool on that bridge. A producer can help find the right musicians to make it happen.

4.)   Choosing the right studio. (It’s NOT your church!) A producer usually has experience in working in a few different places, and knows that every studio is not equally equipped or experienced for recording your style of music. They may also be able to negotiate a better rate for you based on their relationships and quantity of work in these places.

5.)   Planning of sessions. Organization before you record and anticipation of issues that may arise during a studio session will save you hassle and money. Are you going to record your parts individually or as a band? What things will get overdubbed and in what order? Will you use a click track or do you prefer a looser feel? Maybe, to optimize your budget, the foundation tracks (drums, bass, maybe guitar/keys and a scratch vocal) will be recorded in the studio and other overdubs can be done later in a home studio environment. Going in with a clear plan always saves you time and money and delivers better results.

AN ALTERNATIVE VIEW: “WE RECORDED A DIY LIVE WORSHIP ALBUM”

6.)   Choosing the right tones for your style and song. Once in the studio, decisions must be made that will be crucial to your finished product: What microphones are you going to use on which instruments? How should the drums be tuned? Should you use the guitar player’s amp or the studio amp or take a direct signal to re-amp later? How much bleed between instruments is acceptable? Commercial studios tend to be formulaic only because they’ve nailed down a safe way to get a good sound, yet their method may or may not be the right thing for your music. Using a producer to track the best sounds for your particular song is the most important thing you can do for your mix.

7.)   Encouragement and direction at your session. When is a take truly good enough and when do you need to record it again? When do you need to take a quick break to alleviate some stress? In what moments are you not quite communicating the emotion of the song, requiring a little push? When it comes to recording — especially regarding vocalists — there are millions of ways to perform. When you’re already in the studio, it may be difficult to determine whether you’re recording the next Thriller or slapping together the next Friday (no offense to all you Rebecca Black fans out there). Encouragement from a good producer can keep you in the right emotional space — giving you room to deliver your best. They can also offer just the right amount of direction to improve or alter trouble spots in your recording. You can avoid the time-wasting frustrations of being trapped in a creative rut and yielding diminished results. Not only does this save you time, but it saves you money as well.

8.)   Protecting you from listening to your rough mix a million times. No kidding, this is crucial. Countless musicians have been there. You just did your first recording at [a] real studio and you’re blasting the rough-mix in your car on repeat on the way home where, for the benefit of your mom and your girlfriend, you blast in on repeat some more. You might even be tempted to post it on social media. By the time you get a real mix, you’ll hate it (even though it’s amazing) because you fell in love with the subpar rough by listening to it too much. This is a documented disorder called “demo love” and together, we can eradicate it forever!

9.)   Advocating for you with those who are finishing your song(s). Often your producer will mix your songs. However, if this isn’t the case, your producer’s been through the mixing process before and can be amazingly helpful. He can guide you in choosing the best mix engineer available for your budget — someone who has experience and a fantastic track record in your genre. When your first mix comes back and you gotta have more cowbell, your producer, who in many cases has a previous relationship with the mix engineer, communicates things in a way that is helpful, not harmful, to the process. Also, your producer can provide an objective opinion that enables the band to hear whether the mix is right for the song, rather than the usual “my bass part isn’t loud enough” arguments that come from a group of individuals not really used to listening to the song as a whole.

10.) Therapist/Counselor. No seriously, we’ve all seen the movies. As we all know, the hardest part of leading worship is dealing with the humans, and the number one thing that derails good projects is the emotions, egos, and drama created by relationships. A producer has been through this many times, and is skilled at navigating the common tension spots that arise in the very emotional process of making a great record.

So when a band has a record you really love, check who produced it. Odds are if you follow that producer, they’ve made records with other artists you love too. This is because producers have [a] huge influence in the process of creating your art. A recording studio is a by-the-hour business whose job entails setting up microphones, waiting until you’re ready, and then hitting the red button. Most studio engineers are masters at what they do, but being invested in your project isn’t part of their job, and they probably aren’t going to tell you if what you’re chucking into their microphones sounds like a cat caught in the garbage disposal. The misunderstanding of the roles of a producer and a studio engineer — often on the part of first time recording artists — is why good musicians, who are simply excited about being in a “real studio” so often come away frustrated, with costly and lackluster recordings in hand. If you would rather have a better sound, spend less time fumbling through mistakes, save money in the studio, and have loads of fun making your songs a reality, you really should consider working with a producer.

Jesus Left Things Unfixed

By
Christine Hoover
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The author Zack Eswine says, “We cannot expect to change what Jesus has left unfixed for the moment.” He calls these unchangeable realities “inconsolable things”: the sins and miseries that will not be eradicated until heaven comes home, the things that only Jesus, and no one of us, can overcome.

We cannot expect to change what Jesus has left unfixed for the moment.

I’ve lived practically my entire life trying to disprove that statement. I’ve obsessed over perfection like a child attempts over and over to build a tall block tower only to watch it fall each time.

If I just try harder this time…

If I just use a little more willpower…

If I am more exacting with my work…

If I take more control…

If I finally figure out what will produce the results I’m looking for…

If I just do a little bit more…

If I could just figure out what it is that God has called me to do…

If I pray harder or have more faith…

If I could only accomplish all that I’ve set out to do…

If I could finally get my life in order…

What then? What is the conclusion I’m looking for exactly?

Well, in my mind, I’d experience peace, satisfaction and joy. I’d finally reach the pinnacle. Everything about my life would be brought into order, including my marriage, my children, and my own mind and heart. More importantly, I’d avoid experiencing longing, unfulfilled dreams, pain, loneliness, disappointment or failure. Somehow, if I can fix it all, I might be able to bypass what I’ve seen others walk through: betrayal, depression, cancer and prodigal children.

In my obsession with perfection, I can pretend inconsolable things aren’t there.

I can earn my blessing.

I once heard of a pastor who spent time each week on a farm pulling weeds, hoping to bring about the renewal of all things on this earth. There is a reason he had to go back each week. The weeds kept growing back, because the weeds are always with us.

And my weeds are always going to be with me, just as yours are always going to be with you. To believe otherwise is to believe according to the Old Testament law, a dead stalk in dry ground, telling us we’re able to fix inconsolable things ourselves, that perfection on earth is possible. These are words of death, although often rather than sounding like death they sound like a noble dream. These are beliefs, however, that remove us from Jesus’ fixed attention, beliefs that purposefully set him aside and force us to look inside of ourselves for the hope and power we need for living. We become the answer unto ourselves.

Jesus did address this, remember. He said these are the ways—the ancient ways—man has tried to eradicate sin and seek the conclusion their implanted seed seeks—peace with God. He said the only true conclusion is gifted blessing, gifted peace, gifted power and gifted faith.

Gifted means it comes from someone else. He said that someone else was himself. He does it all for us according to our faith, but we have to wait to see with our eyes the completion and fullness of the blessing.

It is often an affront to us that Jesus left inconsolable things, that in his goodness he asks us to wait on the promise while also enduring pain and suffering. It is often offensive that he asks for us to go all in in the form of obedience that is hard and self-sacrificing. We stamp our feet and question how anything beautiful could be made from our suffering. We much prefer the pursuit of beauty we can grab onto in the present: immediately-satisfying things. Jesus doesn’t offer consolation to what cannot truly be consoled in the present; the world, however, will offer this false comfort.

Among the crowds, Jesus warned his listeners about this very thing. He described himself as a seed sower and his words as the seeds. There will be some, he said, who hear his words but don’t actually listen and still others who listen but then fall away, either because of suffering or because they are drawn away by the world’s offerings of false riches. (Matthew 13:1-23)

Our perpetual problem is that we don’t know true beauty when it is right in front of us. In our definition, beauty means no negativity, no suffering, no longing and no waiting. Beauty is, in other words, instant and consumable.

We must be careful what we call beautiful. We must be careful not to attribute words to the Word that he never said. If picking weeds is our hope, than we have none at all. If we demand the present be perfectly beautiful, we not only prove we weren’t actually listening to Jesus’ words, but we become deeply offended that God is not living up to what we thought he’d be.

But as we look to time past, the inconsolable things communicate to us that there is still time to come, still creating left to do, and that there is an important element of waiting and faith involved in getting to see and experience ultimate beauty. Following Jesus still means going all in on commands and promises.

We are not meant to be completely fulfilled on this earth. This is a beauty held out by the world. It is shiny and sounds good and we believe if God really loved us he would fulfill us completely in the here and now.

But that’s not what Jesus said. Dear heart, Jesus didn’t say he’d save you from affliction. Instead, he asked you to go all in on a promise of unexpected beauty sprouting up through that very affliction. He asks you to shift your eyes from tangible pain to an invisible hope.

Do we still think he is the most beautiful person we’ve ever encountered?

This post is an excerpt from my book, Searching for Spring: How God Makes All Things Beautiful in Time.

This article originally appeared here.

No True Church Just Preaches the Gospel

By
Nicholas Davis
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People get in debates about the mission of the church and talk about it in really abstract ways. Sometimes this leads to people saying or thinking, “The church should just preach the gospel.” Well, should it?

Defining the Mission

Commissioned by Jesus, for a church to be the church it must be in the business of “making disciples.” The church goes about making disciples by “baptizing” and “teaching all that I commanded,” says Jesus (Matthew 28). In other words, preaching the whole counsel of God and administering the two sacraments of baptism and the Lord’s Supper are central to what the church should be doing. Each local church should also be gathering together publicly to worship and pray together too (Acts 2:42).

The theological tradition that my church belongs to would frame it like this: The local church is called to preach the gospel, administer the sacraments, and exercise church discipline (See the Belgic Confession, Article 29 and Westminster Confession of Faith, 25.3).

As a bare minimum, for the local church to be the church it must have these things happening regularly. The proclamation of the gospel itself creates the community of the church, so we can say, for example, wherever you preach the gospel and the sacraments are administered—there is the church.

The thing is though, in order for us to be doing this faithfully in a local community, there has to be actual participation in the local community by the local church beyond the Sunday gathering. Otherwise, there’s no way of bringing other people into the social environment by which people can actually be made into disciples of Jesus. So discipleship itself has to go outside of the walls of the local church in order for disciples to be invited, gathered and made into disciples inside of the church.

No Church Just Preaches…

The reality is, no church just preaches the gospel. Every local church does a whole host of things that go beyond, but still support, the preaching of the gospel from Sunday to Sunday.

Let me give a few examples from the officers in a local church.

Pastors (called “teaching elders” in my denomination) feed the people of God through preaching, teaching and administering the sacraments (or ordinances), prepare sermons, commune with God as a disciple to lead other disciples, faithfully pray for people by name, make time for visiting both the well and the sick, new visitors and the oldest of members, attend, lead, or moderate various meetings meetings, and manages emails, phone calls, event planning, writing projects, committee meetings and reports (according to his various calling and ability), in addition to everything that an elder and a Christian and a husband and father (if he is married and/or has children) is responsible for. All of this is to aid and carry out the official function of preaching the gospel every week, but much of what a pastor does is not just preaching the gospel.

Elders (called “ruling elders” in my denomination) meet regularly to shepherd the whole flock of God, oversee the spiritual and general activities and interests of the church, visit families and individuals in hospitals and homes, pray for people, teach people, protect and catechize the children of a church, and if necessary, go after stray sheep and maintain the peace and purity of the church. All of this is in support of gospel preaching, but it’s not just preaching the gospel.

Deacons likewise pray for others and visit the sick, the hurting, the downcast and broken, those struggling financially, and find ways to support those in the church community first, while still providing mercy ministry and care to those in need outside of the church. We call this “mercy-in” and “mercy-out” at our church. All of this supports the message of the gospel, but itself is not the gospel.

All church members are called to gather regularly for the public worship of God, everyone is called to serve to edify the whole body according to particular gifting, need and desire, and support the work of the church through prayer and cheerful financial giving. The life that each Christian has exists all because of the preaching of the gospel, but much of the life of every member exists outside of the Sunday hour (or two).

In the average week of any given local church, a lot of activity is going on from week to week that supports the preaching of the gospel, but is not part of the mission of the church. People meet together, pray together, study God’s Word together, share life together, help, serve, volunteer, joke, play, etc., all together. The majority of any new members a church gains from week to week happens because of conversations and invitations and calls given out—not by the pastor from the pulpit on Sunday morning—but from individual members and families doing this necessary work.

Two Local Churches

On the ground, no true church can “just preach the gospel.” That must be happening—every week, from every Bible passage—but a whole lot more has to go on to support the ordinary means of grace in a church. So each local church has to make wise decisions about how its leaders are going to spend their time (and where), and how we want to encourage and shepherd our people to be spending time. Do we want people to only be surrounded by church people in their free time? Or do we want to be reaching out to our communities and neighborhoods so that others can be called and gathered into the embassy of grace that we all need each Sunday?

In order for the mission of the church to be carried out faithfully, each local church needs its own people to live as embodied creatures in our local areas. That means spending time with others inside and outside of the local church, always bringing more people into the missionary activity of God in Christ that happens every Sunday morning.

But we spend a lot of time bickering over the mission of the church, and we assume that it has to look the same everywhere, when in reality, in addition to preaching, sacramenting and disciplining, each local church has to make specific, unique decisions that affect the people immediately around them.

The State of Our Theology: It’s Good and Bad

By
Stephanie Martin
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In the third installment of its State of Theology survey, Ligonier Ministries uncovers several interesting trends, especially among young adults. Every two years, the Christian discipleship organization, in conjunction with LifeWay Research, takes the “theological temperature” of Americans. For the 2018 survey, 3,002 adults (581 of whom hold evangelical beliefs) answered questions about their faith and ethics.

Among Millennials (those ages 18 to 34), “the survey picks up some fascinating, and perhaps unexpected, results,” Ligonier says. For example, 18 percent of young adults now claim to profess evangelical beliefs, up from 14 percent in 2016. And 62 percent agree with the statement “Only those who trust in Jesus Christ alone as their Savior receive God’s free gift of eternal salvation.” That’s up from 53 percent two years ago.

“There has been a significant change for the better among Millennials across a range of questions when compared to previous State of Theology surveys—so much so that they score higher than any other age group in several areas,” according to Ligonier. “Whether this is an anomaly or will continue unabated in future years remains to be seen.”

Millennials’ views matter, the organization notes, because these are the people who “will eventually shape the future of America.” They’re also the future leaders of the church and play key roles as social influencers.

The News Isn’t All Positive, Though

Despite some promising numbers, the 34-question survey reveals confusion among Millennials—and adults of all ages—about some basics of the Christian faith.

In response to the statement “The Bible, like all sacred writings, contains helpful accounts of ancient myths but is not literally true,” 53 percent of young adults said they agree. That’s up from 46 percent in 2016 and 44 percent in 2014.

Almost half (46 percent) of Millennials said they “strongly agree” with the statement “God accepts the worship of all religions, including Christianity, Judaism and Islam.” That’s up five percentage points from 2016.

Significantly more Millennials also now agree with the statement that “God is unconcerned with my day-to-day decisions.” That figure rose from 21 percent in 2014 to 36 percent this year.

“These results overall may indicate an increasingly stark polarization of views among young adults,” Ligonier states.

Secular Culture and Relativism Are Influencing Ethics

Millennials’ views on ethical issues also are “noteworthy,” according to Ligonier’s recap of the just-released survey. Of all the age groups, young adults are the most likely to call abortion a sin. (Fifty-seven percent of Millennials now believe that, up from 50 percent in 2016.) More than half (54 percent) also say sex outside of traditional marriage is a sin.

Yet slightly more than half (51 percent) of young adults agree with the statement “The Bible’s condemnation of homosexual behavior doesn’t apply today.” And 46 percent agree with the statement “Gender identity is a matter of choice.”

“In only a few short decades, America’s sexual ethic has changed significantly, and it continues to move away from a Christian ethic to a secular and relativistic one,” Ligonier notes. “However, the media may be exaggerating the extent of this upheaval. Many Americans continue to agree with biblical ethics.”

Brett Kavanaugh Target of Hexing Ritual This Weekend

By
Megan Briggs
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A group of witches in Brooklyn, New York, plan on gathering to place hexes on recently appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh on Saturday, October 20, 2018.

The planned event has already received quite a bit of publicity. The Guardian and Newsweek, Time Magazine and other publications have run articles on it.

The event is being hosted by Catland Books, “Brooklyn’s premiere occult bookshop & spiritual community space” (according to their website). Tickets are being sold for $10, with 50 percent of the proceeds going to support Planned Parenthood and the Ali Forney Center, which is an LGBT community center that focuses on helping homeless LGBT youth. As the Guardian points out, the event is not atypical of Catland Book’s event schedule. Previously, the store has hosted events to hex President Trump.

Organizers Hope the Occult Event Will Galvanize Left, Intimidate Right

While it’s doubtful the majority of left-leaning voters would support such an event, co-owner of Catland Books, Dakota Bracciale, hopes the event will galvanize the left. “The whole thing is going to be really cathartic, whether you believe it or not. The right has churches but the left is scattershot. The left is where you’re going to find atheists, secularists, humanists, people who follow non-traditional religions. So how are you going to get all of us together in times of trouble? That’s what we’ve been doing,” Bracciale told the Guardian.

Bracciale went on to explain the bookshop hosts less occult-focused events such as traditional protests and voter registration drives, but they have found putting an occult emphasis on events has been effective for them. “It strikes fear into the heart of Christian fundamentalists,” she says.

On the event registration page, the organizers describe their aim for the event:

Please join us for a public hex on Brett Kavanaugh and upon all rapists and the patriarchy which emboldens, rewards and protects them. We will be embracing witchcraft’s true roots as the magik of the poor, the downtrodden and disenfranchised and it’s [sic] history as often the only weapon, the only means of exacting justice available to those of us who have been wronged by men just like him.
He will be the focal point, but by no means the only target, so bring your rage and and [sic] all of the axes you’ve got to grind. There will also be a second ritual afterward – “The Rites of the Scorned One” which seeks to validate, affirm, uphold and support those of us who have been wronged and who refuse to be silent any longer.
50% of the event proceeds will be donated to charity:

25% to the Ali Forney Center and 25% to Planned Parenthood.
Please note that no one will be turned away for lack of funds.

On Saturday, organizers plan to engage in two rituals. The first ritual is intended to place a hex on Kavanaugh. While candles burn, attendees of the event will focus on an image of Kavanaugh while passages are recited. Graveyard dirt, coffin nails and effigies will also be featured. The second ritual is the rite of the scorned one, which was created by Bracciale and is an exercise designed to welcome rage. “It’s saying that constant, absolute pacifism only leads to you getting harmed more. Sometimes there has to be an allowance for rage as your ally,” Bracciale explains.

This event comes to the public’s attention shortly after an article highlighting the rise of the use of witchcraft—particularly among Millennials—has been circulated widely.

How to Disciple Your Staff

By
Chris Swain
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I have had the privilege of leading staff both in and outside the church. In both scenarios, I spent time investing in the staff through reading personal growth books together and attending conferences and trainings. We met weekly to discuss our results, tweak our processes, celebrate wins and learn from losses. But beyond the kind of personal development that comes from self-help books, I didn’t offer much more. Too often, the crux of our time together was focused on the results we wanted in the organization rather than the result of the gospel transforming our lives. Looking back, I wish I had spent more time discipling my staff and less time evaluating outcomes.

Staff Discipleship

As a pastor or minister leading a team of paid staff or volunteers, we must never assume discipleship is taking place. We must intentionally invest in those we lead. It will take a shift from organizational growth and maintenance for many of us but the end result is worth it. What good is a thriving ministry if its leaders are stagnant in their pursuit of Jesus? And what ministry wouldn’t be more effective with staff who are being effectively discipled? In order to effectively disciple your staff, consider the following four adjustments to help you rise to the occasion:

Re-Purpose Your Existing Structure

Most staff teams have a weekly meeting. This meeting typically focuses on evaluating the week’s attendance, decisions, finances and upcoming ministry initiatives. While each of these elements are critical for any church to work through, they can become the end-all be-all of the weekly meeting. In order to disciple your staff, this meeting can be re-purposed to focus on the spiritual growth of the team as well as discussing the key details of the organization. If the meeting is a couple of hours long, try spending at least a quarter of the time discussing each team member’s personal walk with the Lord. Discipling your staff doesn’t have to mean more meetings in an already busy work week. Re-purpose existing times together.

Intentionally Focus on Personal Spiritual Growth.

Think of all the ways we try to help our staff. We do everything from book discussions to tests intended to evaluate strengths and weaknesses to personality profiles. While none of these things are bad, they should factor in long after investing in the spiritual growth of our team. The key is intentionality. Leaders must make a consistent, constant decision to disciple those they lead. Discipleship does not happen by accident. Identify ways you can invest in your team to grow spiritually and prioritize actions to achieve the goal.

Schedule Discipling Opportunities

Once you’ve re-purposed existing times with your staff for discipleship and focused on personal spiritual growth with them, it’s time to schedule discipling opportunities. Read the Word together, pray as a staff, share the gospel and discuss with one another how sharing is going. While we are great at challenging the people in our church to do these things, we must be doing them as well. Rather than hoping this takes place on your staff, put dates on the calendar to ensure they do. You know the saying: If we fail to plan, we can plan to fail.

Equip vs. Evaluate

In typical church staff culture, leaders spend a lot of time evaluating the success of ministry and the effectiveness of those who serve. Every meeting can feel like a mini-evaluation. While good stewardship certainly requires we effectively assess those we lead, it also means we must effectively equip them. How can we fault a staff member in whom we have not invested? How can we hold those we lead to accountability in work output without helping them pursue Christ more closely? We should never stop evaluating our staff with biblical wisdom and grace, but we should also emphasize how we equip them.

Staff discipleship may be something that has been overlooked in the past, but it is critical to developing a healthy team. Any organization can prioritize personal development but discipling your staff goes beyond discussing the latest book or attending the best conference. Leading your staff team will require more than discipling them but it should never consist of less. Effective leaders disciple those they lead because they understand the priority of spiritual growth in their lives.

This article originally appeared here.

5 Ways to Keep the Next Generation in Church

By
Alvin Reid
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Recently, I taught a class on missional student ministry with veteran next generation leader Jeff Lovingood from Long Hollow Baptist Church. It was a great class! Each student gave a brief report on a topic of interest. One student shared an article from the Barna group I found to be quite interesting.

Lots of information abounds on young people leaving the church. But not all leave; many stay, thrive and are impacting the world for Christ. Why do they stay? You can read the original article for yourself here, but I want to note the main five points with a few observations. My thoughts are in italics. 

1. Make room for meaningful relationships. When comparing 20-somethings who remained active in their faith beyond high school and 20-somethings who dropped out of church, the Barna study uncovered a significant difference between the two. Those who stay were twice as likely to have a close personal friendship with an adult inside the church (59 percent of those who stayed report such a friendship versus 31 percent among those who are no longer active). The same pattern is evident among more intentional relationships such as mentoring—28 percent of Millennials who stay had an adult mentor at the church other than their pastor, compared to 11 percent of dropouts who say the same.

Notice “with an adult.” Titus 2 relationships—older men with younger men, older women with younger women—must increasingly be a priority in student ministry. 

2. Teach cultural discernment. Active Millennial Christians are more than twice as likely to say they “learned about how Christians can positively contribute to society” compared to those who drop out (46 percent versus 20 percent). Actives are also nearly four times more likely to say they “better understand my purpose in life through church” (45 percent versus 12 percent).

We must take students out of the Christian subculture to develop skills and knowledge for interacting with the real world. Faith and culture increasingly matter to this generation.

3. Make reverse mentoring a priority. The next generation wants to be taken seriously today—not for some distant future leadership position. In their eyes, institutional church life is too hierarchical. Kinnaman says, “Effective ministry to Millennials means helping these young believers discover their own mission in the world, not merely asking them to wait their turn…”

I wrote a whole book on this called As You Go with a focus of helping students live and think missionally now, not when they are out of college. We must disciple students, but we can also learn from them.

4. Embrace the potency of vocational discipleship. A fourth way churches can deepen their connection with the next generation is to teach a more potent theology of vocation, or calling. Millennials who have remained active are three times more likely than dropouts to say they learned to view their gifts and passions as part of God’s calling (45 percent versus 17 percent). They are four times more likely to have learned at church “how the Bible applies to my field or career interests” (29 percent versus 7 percent).

This is huge. Young people are four times more likely to stay if we help them see how the Bible relates to their career. We must do more to show how no matter one’s vocation or location, they can be on mission for God.

5. Facilitate connection with Jesus. Finally, more than a mere community club helping youth cross the threshold of adulthood, church communities can help Millennials generate a lasting faith by facilitating a deeper sense of intimacy with God. For example, Millennials who remain active are more likely than those who dropped out to say they believe Jesus speaks to them personally in a way that is real and relevant (68 percent versus 25 percent).

In the face of Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, churches who teach a gospel-driven perspective focusing on a personal, intimate, daily walk with God will keep students. Helping students own their faith, see faith lived out in the real world, and moving beyond a check-list Christianity to a lifestyle of following Jesus matters.

In other words, when a church lives out a vibrant faith that demonstrates to a younger generation how faith, culture and life can intersect in a way that brings glory to God and makes sense of life, she will see young people who want not only to stay in church, but advance the gospel. I’m part of a church that seeks to do just that. I hope you are as well.

10 Reasons You Should NEVER Take All the Worship Leading Roles

By
Rich Kirkpatrick
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10 Reasons You Should NEVER Take All the Worship Leading Roles

If you are a worship leader and have ever been asked about what you during the week, this post is for you. Maybe you are the one asking the questions as the pastor or congregational leader. Being a worship leader or musical ministry leader is a big job. The entire church will appreciate this public ministry whether it is in all its glory or lacking something. The typical problem is that there seems to be trouble communicating as a worship leader to your leaders. And, I already know that most pastors and leaders have concerns of their own in this regard. We all know there are tasks to be completed and observe the end result. But, do we know about the hats worn behind the scenes that make what is public shine? Do we have a language actually to talk about these hats?

In my book The Six Hats of the Worship Leader, I tackle this by giving a language for the various roles required that make up being a worship leader. Whether you are recruiting a leader for your budding youth group or in a large organization duplicating church campuses, the roles are all similar. Sometimes we focus so much on the visible parts of the role that we fail to get help when the behind the scenes tasks stack up.

The six hats, in summary, are the following: Worship Leader (upfront leading of songs), Music Director (literally music leadership), Technical Director (leading sound and technology), Service Producer (running all the stuff from off-platform), Administrator (budgets, calendars, people) and Shepherd (spiritual needs of the team members addressed). I explain in my book that you can “wear a hat, share a hat or give a hat away” as a worship leader.

You should never wear all of these six hats! For one, it might be physically impossible once your second campus opens up and there needs to be two of you singing in front of your growing church. Or, your sound gear is now so complicated to set up that you need someone better than you to share that hat with you! Here is a list of 10 consequences of holding on to too many hats as a worship leader.

  1. Potential leaders will go unnoticed. If you hog all the hats all the time, no one will get the message that you actually desire to include them. They will stay invisible to you and your church leadership. This then backfires over time as you then shoulder work that could otherwise be shared by willing and talented volunteer leaders.
  2. You cannot take a vacation and enjoy it. Yes, to survive long term as a church leader—especially if this is your job—you need to learn to take breaks. If you are the only one holding things together, it is what engineers call a “single point of failure.” That is not a good thing, by the way.
  3. You are judged by your weaknesses. When we do most or all of the work, the stuff that we are good at becomes overshadowed by what we are smarter to delegate to others. You may be great in front of people who love to be led in singing and prayer by you, but your band is ready to quit because you are not so good at directing music.
  4. Burnout arrives too quickly. Burnout at a younger-than-acceptable age is possible when you try to wear all the hats! And, if you are not as young, it is even worse for you. Lightening the load is not about being less tired as much as it is about being more effective, however.
  5. Expansion means panic. There will be a season when you are asked to grow your team, or expand it to fill additional services. If you are the “single point of failure” then all that stress will be felt in your gut. Those around you will walk on eggshells, wondering if you are a team player or not.
  6. Those around you disprove your leadership. Those around you prove your worth and effectiveness as a leader. Giving them opportunity to shine is what makes you shine when you are in a leadership role. How is your team proving your leadership?
  7. People are not developed. Tasks take up your time and people that need your development to succeed in the roles of leading worship take second place. How are you able to build a pipeline of leaders if you are putting your finger in all the leaks?
  8. Spiritual temperature drops. Stroking the fire in your own heart and having the focus of doing so with your team requires leadership. Are you a professional frontman of a band or a friend, mentor, and spiritual guide as well?
  9. It is no longer any fun. There is nothing frivolous about feeling joy in working in your gifts. This can sour, however, when you horde it all. If you find glory in being indispensable, you lose the joy in giving away those things you love to do. You see competition rather than multiplication. Legacy is built on what we give away to others.
  10. Your job will end soon. There is no way to end your career in a church than to insist on wearing all the hats and being poor at helping others succeed. This does not mean you are not great at your strengths. It means that the combination of what you do and what you do through others matters greatly in ministry. Learn this, and you will last longer.

The last couple of years has shown that this model and way of explaining the role of worship leadership has helped many. Delegation, regardless of what ministry area you lead, is critical. If you want to learn more, please pick up my book or contact me! I have enjoyed talking with worship teams, worship pastors, college students and churches all over the country.

I Don’t Expect You to Understand Why I Parent the Way I Do

By
Mike Berry
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

As adoptive and special needs parents, our style of parenting can be quite different from traditional parents. Because of our children’s traumatic pasts, there are reasons why we do the things we do, expect the things we expect, and structure the way we structure.

My son’s coach meant well. He really did. His fatherly instincts told him to comfort my son and try to remedy the situation by loaning him his gloves. The temperature at game time was a brisk 30 degrees. The sun was up, but slow to melt the frost that fell in the early morning hours when it was much colder. My son stood on the sideline shivering, crying, snot running down his upper lip, and looking as if he were close to death.

I stood on the opposite sideline, glaring at him, feeling absolutely no sympathy (I know, I know…not very connection-oriented. I admit it. But hang in there with me for a moment…).

I reflected back on the night before, when I was digging out knit caps and gloves in preparation for his game. And since I’m a college-educated person I paid attention to the evening weather report. I listened when the weather man said the next morning would be below normal. He even went as far as to say, “If your son or daughter is playing fall sports, you will want to dress them warm!”

My son argued with me. He told me that he didn’t need to wear gloves, because none of the other kids would be wearing them. He shook his head and told me that football players are supposed to be tough and that wearing a knit cap would make him look like a sissy. Then, he obsessively walked around the house in his uniform pretending to be an NFL player who didn’t wear long sleeves in frigid temperatures. Big talk until he got out of the car the next morning and joined his teammates (who, by the way, were all wearing knit caps and gloves). He almost immediately started to shiver. I tried to talk to him but he instantly blamed me, the person who cared enough to adequately prepare him for the elements.

He screamed at me, and then ran off before I could pull the cap and gloves I had packed anyway, out of my bag, and hand them to him.

Some of the parents nearby gave me nasty looks. Some even tried to get involved (eh hem…butt in!). I’m sure I was labeled as a terrible father that day. But the highlight of this experience was the email I received from his coach, later that afternoon, saying, “Next time we have a game with those temperatures please make sure to properly dress your son.” He then explained his strategy for making sure his son was dressed for chilly game-time temperatures.

And that’s when it hit me: This world will never understand how or why I parent my special-needs son the way I do, and that’s OK! Many would look at that experience and consider it normal 9-year-old behavior. It was the farthest thing from it.

Noticed But Not Understood.

What people rarely see (unless they spend significant time with us) is the impulsive, illogical, obsessive behavior my child displays over nearly everything. He suffered permanent brain damage prenatally. He was born with drugs and alcohol in his system before he came to us through foster care. His official diagnosis is Alcohol-Related-Neurodevelopmental-Disorder (ARND for short). This trauma has caused him to act, speak and behave in certain ways. While other children may argue with their parents, push buttons, stomp their feet and demand their own way, my son makes it a campaign, battles us to sometimes violent levels, and refuses to listen to logic. So, we’ve had to adjust the way we parent him. Here are a few things most parents won’t understand…

1. “I’m concrete for a reason.” When you parent a child who has gone through significant trauma, you can’t leave an ounce of what you say up for interpretation. My son will fill in the blanks and many times that equals disaster or very bad choices. I have to be on point always. My yes needs to be yes, and my no needs to be no. No gray areas…black and white always! I know that sounds harsh. Trust me, when you constantly repeat yourself, over and over and over again, it can make you a little jaded. I’m trying to not sound harsh though, I promise. My words, my perspective and my point must be crystal clear with my child. There are no ‘maybes,’ or ‘We’ll see,’ or ‘possibly’ in my vocabulary. I have to say what I mean, and mean what I say.

The Four-Step Discussion Method That Works for Any Study

By
Jim Egli
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

A simple but revolutionary way of doing small groups is sweeping the world. It started in India, but you can also find it in the suburbs of San Francisco, throughout the slums of South America and among the Muslim tribes of Africa. Through this simple method, the lost are being won, disciples are being mobilized and churches are multiplying. The Disciple-Making Movement (DMM) is a modern-day phenomenon, but it’s really just a return to principles Jesus taught 2,000 years ago.

A DMM group is a combination of several key principles and methods, but the heart of this method is based on teaching disciples to obey everything Jesus has commanded us (Matthew 28:18-20). The format of DMM groups is simple, but it’s powerful.

The Discovery Group Format

DMM groups work through the same questions each time they meet. These questions work regardless of what you’re studying.

Opening Questions

  • What are you thankful for this week? (This question helps teach seekers or those new to Christ how to worship and pray.)
  • What is a challenge you’re facing? Is there some way our group can help? (This guides people into caring community.)

Accountability Questions
These questions follow up from the previous week. See more about this under the Bible Discovery Questions and Outreach Questions below.

  • With whom did you share what you learned last week?
  • How did it go with your “I will” statements?

Bible Discovery Questions
Read the passage several times together, perhaps in different translations. Then answer these questions.

  • What does it say?
  • How would I say that? (Each person tries to retell the passage or Bible story in their own words.)
  • What must I do to obey what I have learned? “I will…” (Each person crafts an “I will” statement or two to tell how they will obey the passage this week.)

Optional Questions if You Have Time

  • What does the passage say about humanity?
  • What does this passage say about God?

Outreach Questions

  • With whom will you share what you learned this week? (Each person considers who they will talk to about what they learned. Perhaps they’ll encourage a coworker with this new knowledge or talk to their brother about the passage.)

Get Started

There are two ways to begin experimenting with the DMM strategy. You can start using this group format with your current group to help people learn from Scripture and obey what God is teaching them. Or you can start a new group that will focus on this method.

Implement This Format in Your Current Group
I use this new format in my co-ed evening group. I love the method, and the group members are enjoying it, too. It requires a change of approach, however, because while we’re used to studying and talking about the Bible, we’re not used to immediately applying it, sharing it and holding each other accountable! But that’s the beauty of this method—it cuts to the chase. It takes effort to change the approach of a group that’s already up and running to this more straightforward approach, but it’s well worth it! When you switch to your next study topic, I encourage you to incorporate these questions and see what happens to your discussions and spiritual growth.

Start a New Group
My wife has started a discovery group with a more evangelistic focus with great results. When you’re starting a new group with this focus, there are several steps to help you get off on the right foot.

Find Someone Seeking God
First, look for someone that is spiritually hungry. This is a foundational principle of DMM: You don’t have to create interest in spiritual things. Rather, God is already drawing people (John 6:44). Find these spiritually hungry people so that you can cooperate with God in bringing them into a relationship with Christ.

The Four-Step Discussion Method That Works for Any Study

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