It can be so difficult to decipher what has happened through incoherent sobs and incomplete sentences. It can leave a person feeling helpless—knowing that something terrible has happened, but unable to understand what that tragedy actually was. What happened to whom?
We need to make sure, as much as is humanly possible, that our compassion for the person receiving the news outweighs our current feelings of grief about the news—just long enough to convey to them clearly what has happened.
2. Don’t Spring Into Action Until You Have All the Information.
It’s so hard not to spring into action when you hear traumatic news. Our grief leads to anxiety, which leads to us feeling deeply compelled to do something—anything.
“We have to do something.”
But oftentimes, we can actually create unnecessary drama and chaos by immediately doing something because we felt emotionally compelled to do so.
Unfortunately, many times, we find ourselves in a very uneasy “wait and see” kind of situation. Hours can feel like an eternity.
In the hours after I got the news, I felt the impulse to spring into action. But there wasn’t much I could actually do. And as the details of the story emerged throughout the day, my understanding of the best step forward changed a number of times.
So we need to fight the urge to just do something. Because we don’t need to do something. We need to do something helpful.
And many times, that something helpful is just being present in the pain, waiting for a moment when our help is needed.
3. Pay Attention to Your Secondary Emotions and What They Might Be Telling You.
When stress is high, our emotions can be all over the place. Everything you feel, you feel intensely. But be sure to pay attention to why you’re feeling what you’re feeling.
You may feel anger at someone. Maybe you’re irritated at how certain people are responding to the situation. Maybe you’re upset at the police because you don’t like how they are handling things. Maybe it’s the person who you feel is responsible for the tragedy. Maybe you’re even mad at the person to whom the tragic events occurred.
But what’s beneath that anger? Pain. Hurt. Loss. Fear. Devastation. Feel your anger, but also question it. And then choose to feel what’s beneath it too. As hard as that might be.
4. Pray.
Be sure to stop and pray. Even in the most tumultuous moments, prayer brings a sense of peace. In our moments of confusion, prayer can bring us back to a point of clarity.
And that’s because Jesus is our peace.
Remember to stay connected to Jesus. Talk to him. Get everyone around you to talk to him too. Even the people in the room who don’t believe in him. In moments of crisis, there are no atheists. There are no people who don’t know how to pray.
