I’ve lost count of the number of times a congregant mentioned their tithe in reference to something I owned or had recently purchased, whether it was my wife’s engagement ring, our new car, or a new pair of shoes that looked like they may have cost more than $30.
Bear in mind that I was a pastor on staff at a church in an affluent area, where most homes are valued at well north of a million dollars, and most of the congregants who made comments about my purchases annually earned hundreds of thousands of dollars more than my salary. (I’m not trying to suggest that I was grossly underpaid, but in that context, being hassled over purchasing a Honda Civic felt somewhat frivolous.)
It is true that some pastors, particularly the ones with fancy suits and private jets, inappropriately use the funds provided by the generous sacrifices of people in their congregations. But those stories are extraordinary because they aren’t the norm.
So please leave your pastor alone about how he’s spending his money. Odds are that his belt is plenty tight.
3. ‘We All Know You Only Work One Day a Week’
Most congregants only see their pastor once a week. So, many assume that that’s the only time he’s doing anything productive.
Some folks who were shocked in elementary school to see their teacher at the grocery store, because they assumed that they really only existed on campus during school hours, seem to have never graduated from that mentality and see their pastors the same way.
To be sure, when some jest that the pastor only works one day a week, they are sincerely joking or playing off a longstanding misconception about pastors. But for others, they genuinely believe that the pastor doesn’t actually work.
Variations of this insult include a congregant talking about their “real” job in contrast to whatever the pastor is doing for 50+ hours a week. They might also include questions like, “What do you do all week,” that are less about satisfying curiosity and more about getting the pastor to justify his paycheck, or the assumption that the pastor “has time” for whatever special interest event or initiative you are proposing.
Most pastors work hard—many of them too hard. It’s somewhat tone deaf (and hurtful) to imply otherwise.
4. ‘I’m Not Being Fed’
Most pastors have a deep burden for discipleship. That’s why they do what they do.
As a result, they invest much of their time, effort, and energy into preparing sermons, finding ways to help people get plugged into serving, and creating robust discipleship processes, whether through small groups, Sunday school classes, or other initiatives.
Not that pastors are looking for their people to throw them a parade for their efforts, but when a congregant complains to them that they “just aren’t being fed,” it can certainly take the wind out of their sails.
