Leadership is a little like parenting. You do things your kids dislike because it’s good for them.
And in leadership, you lead people through seasons they don’t want to go through because in the end, it’s good for them.
And if it’s good for them, most of them will thank you in the end. Your job is to get them to the point where they benefit from the change.
Which is why you need to learn to endure being misunderstood when the misunderstanding arises from a legitimate change that, in the end, moves the mission and the community to a better place.
3. You can lead and still be likeable
So, you might think, you’re basically saying I have to be a jerk or a cold, calloused human being to lead?
Not at all.
Just because you’re leading people to a place they would not naturally go doesn’t mean you have to abandon grace, humility, kindness, forgiveness or mercy.
In fact, the more you embrace characteristics like mercy, kindness, forgiveness, grace and humilty, the more effective you will be at leading change.
The trick is that there might not be an immediate pay back.
There’s a tendency in all of us that longs for the dynamic of ‘offer and acceptance’.
I offer you forgiveness, you accept.
I offer you mercy, you say thank you.
I show kindness, you reciprocate.
There will be entire seasons of your leadership in which you will offer all of the above and more and people will not reciprocate.
You have to learn to be okay with that. Even when you’re not okay with it.
When people don’t respond in kind, you must still be gracious, still be humble, still be kind, still be forgiving, even if it hurts. And it will hurt.
But in the end, your character will win out.
Usually, if the change is a good one and you have led well, people will ultimately see it was a good move. And they will eventually be thankful for it and often for you.
Sometimes—even if the change is good—there will be a few who never thank you and still don’t like you. That’s okay, because you took the high road. You can look in the mirror with some satisfaction knowing you did all that you could and did it with all integrity. You fought the good fight.
God sees what people don’t.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
So do the things that make someone likeable without worrying whether people will like you.
You will lead better.
And people will be well led.
This article on likeability originally appeared here, and is used by permisssion.
