4. Use the right people to reach out to them. In a group setting, sometimes the problem is a disconnect between the group itself and the person who is leaving. In this situation, the group leader is not in a position to help the situation. This is where the church staff can be very effective by helping people find a place where they fit better or acting as an intermediary to rectify a dispute. Make sure to offer a graceful way back in. I think people don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and think that the easiest way to solve a problem is to just leave. If they are assured it is OK to try a new group or a new volunteer position, that might make all the difference.
5. Focus on Families. For the most part, children do not attend church on their own. So, if little Johnny has not been to his 4-year-old Sunday school class in three weeks, it is a very safe assumption Mom and Dad have not been there either. Since it is much easier to track children and students, use that information to prompt your efforts toward the families of those kids. This is particularly true of a family where the parents are not active in any other area than worship. Let the ministry area try to reconnect the individual, but treat a third or fourth time absentee as an opportunity to connect a family.
6. Build retention mechanisms and processes. Mechanisms are just ways to find out who is leaving. This can be in the form of reports from your attendance records. It can also be from feedback from people in the church. You have to establish some policies on what kind of attendance pattern will trigger your retention processes. In some churches, this might be three absences in a row, while others might use four or five. Just make sure to stick to what is happening rather than what happened! Your processes are the methods you put in place to make sure those who are identified are contacted and assisted. This might include phone calls, eemails, letters, texts, Facebook notes or any other method of communication that would be effective. These contacts have to be personal. No matter the form of communication used, sincerity and authenticity will be of the utmost importance. If people in the church trust you have good processes to follow up with people, I have found they are much more willing to share information with church leaders. They will not share information with you if they don’t think it will make any difference.
7. Build processes for the major emphasis areas of the church. The difference between good intentions and success is often determined by the presence of a logical process. Constructed correctly, no one should ever slip through the cracks once they are identified. This is the same thing that must be done in an assimilation process for a newcomer to the church. The only difference is it has to be handled a bit differently. The processes you build will be logical steps that will lead to participation in that particular area of your church. This might be connection groups, serving opportunities, leadership roles, spiritual formation steps or any other activity you consider to be part of your “church core.”
I have spent thousands of hours helping churches build connection, assimilation and retention processes. As every church is unique, the processes are always slightly different. The most important element is an acknowledgment that it is critically important to guard the back door of the church. Church management systems (ChMS) today offer many ways to facilitate these processes, but they still require careful configuration and a very intentional approach to be effective. I have a good deal of experience in these systems, and it is important to choose one that fits your needs and is flexible enough to work the way you need it to work.
I encourage you to step back and critically look at the situation at your church. If possible, bring in an objective third party to help you see what you can’t see because of your proximity. As I have worked with churches across the country, I have found I can see both problems and possibilities in a situation just because I am a little removed from the day-to-day ministry of that particular church. I have been told many times by pastors that their stress level was lowered considerably when they established good processes of connection, care and retention. This is not one of those problems for which there is no answer. I believe any church can guard their back door if they are serious about it.
