The spark of love cannot live without a home.
A house isn’t sufficient. Being present doesn’t cut it. What our relationships need is a home, a place where families can laugh, play, cry and talk deeply together.
Recovering Your First Love
What was once natural became a discipline.
I began to discipline myself to turn conversations away from church, work and ministry and toward her and our children. I began to love her by asking about her hopes, dreams, fears, to encourage her hobbies and friendships. I relearned how to empathize and suffer, rejoice and laugh with her.
Slowly the spark of love began to rekindle. The warmth of friendship began to return in our resurrected home. My thought was that discipline could give way to desire. But discipline wasn’t enough.
What my wife wants, what every wife wants, is not a disciplined, duty-driven husband but a loving, desire-driven husband. A husband who, when thanked for a weekend get-away without the kids, says to his wife: “It’s my pleasure” not, “It’s my duty”!
Our spouses want to be desired, cherished, valued. In fact, all people want to be cherished, but until we clear the shelf of our hearts of subtle idolatries, discipline will not give way to desire. We must put away our “mistresses.”
Repentance Is Good News
In order to put away our sinful lovers, we need a power outside of ourselves.
We need the power of repentance and faith. In Revelation 2-3, Jesus calls the seven churches to repentance. For example, he writes to the church at Laodicea: “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”
In love, Jesus calls us to zealously repent.
I repented from loving the worth I received from my work, the significance I gained from serving my church. To repent is to turn. The proof of repentance is not in our confession or resolve but in turning from our lovers and toward our Savior.
Where do we get the power of repentance? How do we conquer these lesser loves? By Spirit-empowered faith in the promises of God.
