These women are brightly shining stars fading away behind the shadow of everyone they care for. They are a little worse for wear. Their light is dimmer than it used to be, unable to dream beyond their current reality. So they medicate and numb out.
This narrative seems to play out in a couple of different ways.
First, some women uncover their talents and life purpose before they have kids and then shelve it while raising them. They’ve experienced a sense of fulfillment in living their calling but believe they must set their pursuits aside to raise the children. They’ve bought into the belief that their calling and child rearing are disparate parts, unable to co-exist. Instead of fighting to figure out the balance, they give up and stuff their dreams away.
Other women never identify their life purpose before having children. The label of “motherhood” sets in and can unknowingly become the excuse to stop cultivating their unique talents and dreams. Instead, they place their quest for significance on the lives of their children (as we see played out on Facebook each day). But this suffocating pressure is too much for any teenager to bear, much less a 5 year old.
In either case, this displacement of a mother’s purpose (beyond child rearing) becomes a huge loss to our communities. If women aren’t empowered to cultivate their uniqueness, we all suffer the loss of beauty, creativity, and resourcefulness they were meant to contribute to the world.
Can we imagine a mother chasing the dreams that stir her heart and simultaneously raising her children?
What if husbands saw it as their responsibility to cultivate the unique gifting in the lives of their wives?
How could our communities of faith support this type of lifestyle?
Next time your mind is racing at 3:45 a.m., redirect the stress of play dates and meal planning to imagine who God’s created you to be. Reflect on the moments where you felt fully alive. In time, you may discover a hope reborn.
This is where the journey begins.
