On Sunday morning, Stonebriar Community Church highlighted our special needs ministry in both morning services. In the first service, a little boy with mental disabilities sang “Majesty,” a simple tune well known to almost everyone in our congregation. Most likely, his disabilities will keep him from leading a life most would call normal, but he reminded everyone that we all stand equally needy before our Savior. While the quality was nowhere near Pavarotti’s, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
As the last note left his lips and dissolved into the hush that had fallen over the sanctuary, our congregation stood to their feet in thunderous applause. The boy stared blankly at the standing ovation. When his teacher took his hand to lead him off the platform, he asked, “Why are they standing up?”
His unassuming, innocent response to applause is a poignant picture of humility. I am convinced that, by the end of his days, that’s how Moses must have responded to those who heaped honors upon him. He, too, must have wondered, “Why are they applauding?”I give you permission to use that illustration, but I’ll warn you ahead of time that it won’t be nearly as effective for you as it was for me. Not because I can do something you can’t, but because I witnessed it with my own eyes. I heard the applause. Tears filled my eyes. I can describe my own internal response when I saw the boy’s confusion. I felt the impact of that remarkable moment and my audience will absorb my emotions as I tell it. The same will be true when you share an illustration from your personal experience.By the way, transparency is generally a very good quality in a speaker, as long as you use some discretion. You don’t have to tell them everything. (In fact, please don’t!) It’s unwise to use the pulpit or the lectern as a psychologist’s couch. And you want to avoid any illustration from your own experience that might distract the audience from understanding your point more clearly and feeling its relevance more deeply. You don’t want to erode your audience’s confidence in your ability to speak to an issue. I once expressed how upset a situation had made me and I described my reaction with such fervency, it appeared I hadn’t gotten over it. Instead of connecting with my congregation, I worried them. I had hoped to let my audience know that the circumstance hurt me just like it would anyone. But, after the service, instead of hearing affirmation, I had people wanting to give me advice!If you have blown it in some way and the matter hasn’t been resolved, it’s best not to tell the world. Unresolved problems and ongoing conflicts don’t make good illustrations because they take the audience out of learning mode and put them in problem- solving mode.I repeat, the goal is to bring clarity to the topic, not introduce issues that might become a distraction. If, on the other hand, you didn’t do something right and you made an effort to correct your error, then you might feel free to share it. Let them see failure followed by a determination to do what is right. Who can’t relate to that?It’s also helpful to let your audiences know about past failure when sufficient time has passed. If I were to tell you, “There was a time ten years into our marriage I wasn’t sure we were going to make it,” I doubt you’d lose sleep tonight. That was forty-plus years ago! An audience of struggling married couples would probably find comfort in my admission. It lets them know that all marriages experience crises, and having shared my own struggle with marital conflicts, they’re ready to hear what I have to say about making marriage last.On the other hand, imagine the effect of revealing serious marital difficulty too soon. Imagine your reaction if I were your pastor and I said, “This time last year, I had serious doubts that our marriage was going to make it.” See the difference? I’ve just thrown an anchor in your mind. You’d probably want to start a collection for marriage counseling for the Swindolls instead of listening to my advice on building harmony in your marriage.Be transparent, but keep the focus on clarity and relevance.
