The nurture of a mother allows a child’s character and personality to sprout and grow in the same way good soil allows the potential of a seed to sprout into actuality. This feminine trait is the human characteristic that allows the life of another to grow into fullness.
The issue in church leadership is not simply about men and women filling roles. It is also about the need for both masculine and feminine function to allow seed to be sown but also to grow and multiply a hundredfold. The true masculine is necessary to get the seed sown, but without the true feminine, seed will wither and die.
Have you ever wondered why so many initiatives, or even disciples, begin well but fade or wither? It may be too easy to blame this on their inability to sustain, but Jesus’ parable actually puts the weight on the soil, not on the seed. What if our primarily male church leadership culture has become the “stony places” mentioned by Jesus in the parable?
True masculine and true feminine are not necessarily bound by the gender of the leader. Women can take initiative, and men can nurture. But when is the last time you read a leadership lesson on “nurture”?
God’s self-identification as El Shaddai is not merely a feminine trait; it implies specifically the idea of nurture. The word “shaddai” is directly related to the Hebrew word for breasts, implying sufficiency and nourishment. It is a name that identifies God as the Nurturing One.
The church has a greater problem than simply trying to identify whether or not women can serve in various roles or offices. The church must restore the trait of nurture to the very core of our mission to make disciples. If we do not, we may sow a lot of seed that withers and dies.
Receptivity and openness are the context of true Grace. Grace says God will not reject us if we come to Him with our weakness and failure. It is actually more powerful than that. Grace says God will receive us if we come to Him in our frailty. The feminine trait of nurture is the very context that makes Grace powerful.
Not only do male leaders seldom consider the need to develop nurture, but our male-dominant culture often subtly dictates that, for women to lead in the church leadership culture, they should lead like men. Don’t be soft—be strong and initiate.
Nurture in leadership looks like this. It values people more than tasks. Nurturing leaders look people in the eyes and know they are not just what they can do. Nurture communicates to and from the heart, not just from the head. Nurture values more than strategy—it values the bonds and relationships that are the mortar for all teamwork. Nurture makes a place for and fosters life and growth. It fosters being and not just doing.
I am convinced we, the church, must consider more than just the question, “What roles can women play in the church?” We must consider why we have allowed the feminine trait of nurture to become so rare among us, when it is so central to the way God brings us to the fullness of life.
Nurture is a fundamental trait of a spiritual leader. Life may be produced, but it cannot be maintained and multiplied without creating a culture of nurture.
Think differently. Lead differently.
