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Mixed Company: How Close is Too Close?

“When two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass—may pass in the first half hour—into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later.” —C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

This is such a nuisance.

Honestly, wouldn’t it be nice if once we found our spouse our eyes were somehow veiled and every other member of the opposite sex turned into a gruesome, disfigured freak? Imagine! There would be no need to worry about where your spouse’s eyes may roam when he or she is away from you. If only.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

In fact, I think it can sometimes be the other way around. It’s kind of the “grass is greener on the other side” mentality. After looking at the same face for 10 or 20 years, it might not take a lot to catch your eye. Especially if that face has started to age.

I have danced around this problem like a stinkin’ ballerina, and like I said, it’s a nuisance.

There have been times when I have wanted to sit down for a cup of coffee with a male friend, or go to lunch, for the sole purpose of having a conversation. There are times when a discussion arises on Facebook (a terrible medium for any real talk) and I want to continue it face-to-face.

Yet, every time, I get this gut/Spirit check that says, “Don’t.”

And I don’t.

I have a general rule about interactions with fellas other than my husband and family members that basically says no one-on-one stuff. There are only a handful of men who I will even text or email without copying it to their wives.

I know, it sounds a little paranoid, but the reason is two-fold. One, I want to be above reproach. And two, I want to shelter the wives from even a hint of suspicion. Not only do I have my marriage to consider but also theirs.

So let’s get into the reasons behind the red tape.

Satan is a crafty little devil

I’ve told you before that I believe Satan’s favorite technique is distraction.